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How do college women decide whether to have sex on a hookup? We illuminate this question here by an analysis of transcripts of qualitative interviews that one of us Ford conducted in and with women students at an elite private university.
Sensing that they can be seen in each of these stigmatized ways, women describe walking a tightrope in casual hookup situations: The study from which we drew these interviews was focused on unwanted sex—everything from sex that students consented to but felt ambivalent about, to sex involving physical coercion.
Our interest in this blog post is what we learned from women whose experiences were not physically coercive, but were nonetheless difficult because of their awareness of their vulnerability to these three labels. Participants were recruited by a screening survey in two introductory sociology courses and by recruitment flyers placed around campus.
The screening survey asked questions to ascertain if the person had experienced unwanted sex. Interviews were conducted in person with 44 women and lasted between 45 minutes and 2 hours. The quotes that follow below are verbatim from these interviews.
If I had sex with him maybe he would think I was a whore or easy. I think more so, if I had sex with him I thought he would think I was easier for him [to sleep with] and stuff like that. I felt like really — a lot of shame. Not something I would have done normally. Just like, I felt kinda dirty. I remember showering continuously. Like, that whole label. Like women are made to serve men or something. Yeah I was worried about him telling everyone I was a prude — leading him on and playing games.
It would be like… like when he was trying to get me to lay down in bed. I thought it might make things more hostile. Oh another gray area. I kinda wanted to date my best friend Mike. I wanted to try dating. We did a lot of communicating. He really wanted to get physical. So I personally chose to have sex with him. In the moment, I thought maybe it would spark something.
I was feeling like it might be a good thing to try. So I did try to do that [sex with Mike] and it was kinda terrible. I was kinda just wanting for it to end the whole time. I did it because I generally wanted to do it for him. Often, women were so aware of the kinds of pressures they were balancing that they laid out multiple fears in the same quotes.
I feel like most girls are the same way, want to make guys like them. I just always want people to like me, especially guys. Having a lot of confidence but also not seeming easy. Cute and sexual but not slutty. Will he tell his friends lies about me because he is angry? You wanna come off a certain way present yourself as easy going or someone who is cool and down, but at the same time if you are not comfortable with stuff, also balancing that. Seems like women have to have a balance, being fun and experienced but not too experienced?
Have to be this in-between. But if a woman is with a lot of guys she is a slut or whore. Our interviews with college women illustrate that women are quite aware of reputational consequences of having or not having sex.
We found three distinct pressures that came up over and over again: Clearly, many women are worried about what men will think of them. While some women discussed just one of these pressures, many acknowledged worrying about two of them simultaneously. These women see themselves as walking a tightrope, and women often find balancing their need to avoid two images difficult. Of course, we are not suggesting that it is possible or desirable to free sexual interaction from social norms or expectations.
And we recognize that in many arenas, one social norm will have to be balanced against another when, in a particular situation, they push one in opposite ways. I've been a slut my whole life ,I know I'm disgusting and that's why no one is interested me. Why am I so gross, why doesn't anyone like me? Quality men cannot trust sluts since they are only after popular men, they cannot be trusted for long term relationships, a girl that has sex with more than 1 person has a higher chance to divorce her husband.
You cannot expect to fuck popular guys and then start to care about the "nice guys" when the hot guys don't want you anymore. It's just being a bad human being and taken advantage of poor misguided guys because of your own misstakes. It's okay to be a slut, as long as you are up front about it when a guy that is interested in you asks how many you've had sex with. Tell him the truth and if he doesn't like the answer, move on to another guy that will accept you for who you are.
Me myself will only have relationships with a virgin girl, sluts i will have casual sex with. And it isn't double standard because the genders work different, a girl can have sex whenever she wants; a guy has to work for it and become really good at hooking up with girls. Almost college girls tried to have sex their bf or hookup with others. That is a common phenomenon in campus and students. If you said you had not had sex with your gf, no one will believe that and think you are ridiculous.
These tips are useful guideline for casual sex you could follow: So this is the way to get the hof free coins online and it can help to generate the coins. Your email address will not be published. Contexts is a quarterly magazine that makes cutting-edge social research accessible to general readers. We're the public face of sociology. Contexts understanding people in their social worlds. Home Departments Blog About Search. Sexuality and inequality research.
Francis June 29, Melanie Germar August 28, Alice October 11, Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. About Contexts Contexts is a quarterly magazine that makes cutting-edge social research accessible to general readers. Home Departments Blog Search.
Return Of The Living 1 2MayGremlins 3. I'm a 40 year old man in town for business and just do not like eating single. I am a huge cuddly person, like the outdoors and just hanging out.
Let's just write over the internet and see where this goes.
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