Music, film, art, fashion, kink, photography, design, books and more books tend to catch my attention. Yes, I'm real. Yellow shirt i was in Older dude looking for a much car and you asked me for a smoke.
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Though I still date women my age and older! As usual, we need to get our definitions straight. There are three types of VYW:. This is the granddaddy of them all. In extreme cases these guys invade the clubs or college campuses to hit on younger women where they often look woefully out of place. While there are always unusual exceptions to every rule, this approach does not work.
It fails for a very simple reason: You are destroying the very thing these Type 2s crave. They want a 38 year-old guy who acts like a decently cool, non-creepy, 38 year-old guy. That will turn them on. Trust me, when you act your age, but are cool and non-creepy, Type 2 VYW are literally the easiest women to have sex with quickly.
Type 1s are horrified at the thought of having sex with men much older than they are. This is not ASD…no technique will bust through this. If she was a Type 1 you would have never gotten her pants off. These women will be more than happy to sleep with a much older man. I am the exact opposite of these act-younger guys. This is very, very good advice, I do this myself, and I recommend it to all men across the board….
This is the one exception to the rule. Younger women, even Type 2s, are hypersensitive about creepy older men, as well they should be for their own safety reasons. Instead of being a creepy older guy, you need to be a confident, safe older guy. Focus more on being confident, outcome independent, non-reactive, and classy. Even if you have, be careful. I see way too many older guys who do have chances with younger women completely blow it by being too creepy, too verbally sexual, way too fast.
Some older guys think they can wing it with their personal appearance and look just like a normal, every day guy just like they did back when they were These guys dress like nerds, have hair and grooming that look like crap, and worse, are often way too skinny or fat. Back when you were 25, sure.
You could dress like crap and not worry about your hair or your clothing too much, and still probably get laid. You must take care of your physical appearance more than you did when you were a younger dude. This includes your body and clothing. This does not mean you need to look like George Clooney. Good-looking older men really do rule the roost in a very real way. Some older guys who would really like to date younger women, and be good for them , stop themselves because they have thoughts like….
These are all thoughts coming directly from Societal Programming. As such, these thoughts are all bullshit. I shall tackle each one:. There is absolutely nothing wrong, immoral, or unethical about dating a much younger woman provided these three things are true:. Date all the younger women you want. There is nothing wrong or evil or immoral about it. Only when one of those three items above are not true do we start having serious problems. There are millions of younger women out there who are dying for a confident, non-creepy, much older man to sweep them off their feet.
Trust me, these women have a rough time. These gals hope beyond hope that someday they can find a non-creepy! True stat from my life: Sadly, there is some truth to this one. Many over women are going to be utterly furious at you. Other men your age, who are married to old, overweight, nonsexual wives may also be upset. I have two responses to this.
The first one is…so what? The second answer to this is that no one said you need to get serious with these women. If you simply want a younger woman as an occasional FB, go ahead. Date younger women in whatever capacity you desire.
A relationship with a woman that young would never work. First, remember what I just said. Here are a few random examples from my life over the past years:. The longest consistent relationship I have ever had with a woman outside of my nine-year marriage was an almost five-year relationship with a woman I met when she was 19 that lasted until she was One of the most mentally rewarding relationships I ever had was with a woman I dated for about 2 years, while she was 19 and then She was extremely intelligent and amazingly mature for her age, and we had many long, detailed, philosophical discussions that were the equivalent level of discourse as when I date a woman in her 40s.
While this is certainly not the norm for that age range, there are many women out there like this. I have really been blown away by the quality of many younger women out there. And yes, many younger women are the opposite, and are indeed dumb bimbos. Keep those at the FB level. They can be fun too. Some of my most fun FBs were in the young dumb bimbo category.
Unless you choose to live a monogamous lifestyle cough! No reason to limit yourself to one or the other. My guess is that quick sex will just become rarer as you age as longer courtships are part of the process. My point with this is that it seems that what makes the Poly lifestyle possible is the fact that girls in their 20s but especially between are in no rush to settle down.
Its their openness, which declines with age, that makes the poly lifestyle possible. Hefner is constantly doing this with something women.
But for the rest of us? I still talk about sex and do all the usual stuff. I just dial it down a little. I let her guide me as to how sexual or not she wishes to become in conversation, rather than forcefully taking charge of the conversation as I usually do. But I will still attempt all the usual sexual talk, etc.
Once I get to age then I may make small calibrations based on what I said above. I already deal with them now. Like I said, I have a woman in my life right now who is Working on another who is Just follow rule number one: That means if you want women over 33 you should meet them within your social circle instead of daygame or on a dating site. No getting around that.
Honestly, the only difference is that the women I date tend to be even hotter than before. I know plenty of men well into their 50s who have relationships like this, both with much younger women and women over I still need to lie on the dating sites though to get round their stupid age restrictions. Is this a serious problem any of you have run into? As an intelligent older male, what do you suggest fluff talking about? Most women under 30 even if college educated are dumb as rocks and convo can be challenging.
I suppose it could be my approaches are actually warmer than I think and these women already have the hots for me. Do you experience a lot of variability in this or is it a pretty hard and fast rule with you regarding speed to sex and over 33? If you do see variability do you have a hunch as to the causes? The same things I talk about with older women.
In general my first-date conversation flows from random stuff safe topics like family, work, etc , to her past relationships, to sex. Feel free to screen for more intelligent women if you wish, but I would never do that. I want to have sex with hot chicks…categorizing the relationship based on her intellect comes later. BD, I just clicked the link and read your old post about not screening women.
Nice Guy says many men are afraid to start anything with a woman, because many men are confused about their options on how to end things with a woman without undue guilt, regret, etc. This is why the vast majority of monogamous relationships are initiated by the man, not the woman. Now 3 years later, I have another 18 year old throwing me IOIs, discussing her past flings, inviting me to hang out with strange excuses.
She asked about my past girls and I just told her:
Does he have any long-term plans? It's important to know how you will fit into each other's life. If you don't want kids, this may be fine with you. But, if you do want kids, this could mean trouble down the road.
Or, if his plans are to start traveling the world, and you're still finishing up college, don't drop everything just to be with him. Intimacy is a big part of any relationship. Don't base your entire relationship on sexual compatibility, but take it into consideration. The opposite is more likely to be true. An older man has probably had more sexual partners, and is likely to have more experience in the bedroom.
More than anything, make sure you can get along with each other. Learn from each other and delight in sharing new experiences with one another. Find out if you have any overlapping hobbies and pursue those. Find ways to spend time doing things you both enjoy. Introduce him into your social circle. One big hurdle of dating an older guy is wondering how he will fit in with the rest of your friends.
Think about the type of people you regularly hang out with. How will they react to you dating an older man? However, you should consider how your partner will get along with your friends. Likewise, think about who he hangs out with, and how you feel about his friends. Make sure your partner is comfortable with your friends, and vice versa.
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No one who cares about your wellbeing will seek to do this to you, no matter how attracted they might be to your personhood. That, my loves, is fucked. While older people might know more about books and kissing and Good Bands of the Past, they probably also know more about how to manipulate people. I thought it was, like, the absolute greatest thing in the world when Alan knew who Samuel Beckett was. You might feel like you and your older person are emotional equals, but again, age and gender differences create power imbalances, and those can be leveraged to pressure you into stuff, no matter how self-possessed you are.
When I was with friends or at parties and not immediately answering his text messages, he would become enraged. His logic was that I was being passive-aggressive and uncommunicative by not getting back to him within five minutes, and that this was a childish thing to do. I changed my behavior to better suit his idea of what an adult relationship was like, but now I know that he was being the infantile and scary! All that power-imbalance stuff we discussed in point 5 is really appealing to people who have a need to control their partners, which not only leads to abuse, but is abusive all by itself.
Alan freaked out when I was with other people. He also tried to turn me against other people in my life: A common theme in emotional abuse is the abuser creating distance between the abused person and their friends and family in order to exert control over them.
This finally got me to see Alan for what he was: The questions in your emails tend to go like this: Even if you have a bad experience like mine with Alan, you will get over it. Just be sure—and I say this to you no matter what age your love interest happens to be—that you and of course THEY are responsible and respectful in actions and behaviors; that you are equal partners; that you feel like you can get out of it at any time, for any reason, without fear; and that you are happy.
All right, get along. As always, be safe and enjoy, ya little minxes. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. The years etched on his face remind you of leading men from the movies. He looks like a movie star. His friends are older grown-ups like him and he considers them far less interesting than you. Years of upgrading usually means a nice ride.
You have a question, he usually has the answer. He has wonderful snippets of trivia to contribute to almost every conversation.
I haven't always dated older guys, but in the last few years of my life I've fallen into It was about so much more than getting to the finish line. We're used to seeing dudes with a somber, wannabe-tough-guy look on their face, trying to. He doesn't look like a preteen with his shirt off. If there's one thing the Magic Mike guys could learn from Austin Powers, it's that nothing says. 'The older a father is, the richer he's likely to be. He looks up. brandishing their babies and their much, much younger wives. . Or we could say, a pretty young woman has chosen an old guy - but not for his looks, vitality.