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I get off on the idea of the top being the only one who has the power to stop a scene, but that's totally unkinky to others who play with a safeword. In that case, it can't be compared because the way I play not be considered kink at all to others. Some folks are into swinging and threesomes and that's not my thing, but I think its kinky. When you add to that some natural bitterness, reluctance to get hurt again, a tendency to idealize the lost partner's perfections vis-a-vis any new date's good qualities, and the hassles of getting past the initial dating stage to where you're comfortable and intimate with each other, it's not easy.
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Choose activities you genuinely enjoy where you meet a variety of people of both genders, NOT ones where you stay home alone or only other guys, and NOT singles groups where the whole point is that everyone is desperately searching. And talk to everyone, not just the attractive single women of suitable age.
You never know who could be your next great new platonic friend or the indirect means of meeting other new friends. When you're enjoying your life and not defining it by whether or not you are in a happy couple, you be much less depressed, and much more likely to greet every new day with the happy anticipatory attitude that makes for a good time and a better connection with any new people you meet.
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