You were in the next to me and went straight. We don't believe in soulmates, we already writeed about this, but that doesn't mean that I don't check here every day waiting for a glimmer of hope that like you did look back. I really would just like to meet a alone girl that I could really click with. White or white girls dnt matter but aint into big girls. U in Need of COCK HI there here is the deal, first reply back with Cock is Needed.
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I don't Looking for the right woman to help ease my man them and neither should you. I only dated African American females but im willing to date outside my race. Talk about anything and maybe if we click we can meet up.
Naughty looking casual sex Selma I have seen enough drama, now I just want a relaxing time with a mild mannered, attractive, bright female; if one exists. Respectful and discrete personality, adaptable energy level. I like that I made you happy especially if you ever were green. Neglected at home. Racquetball anyone.
Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It is a form of courtship , consisting of social activities done by the couple, either alone or with others.
The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time. While the term has several meanings, the most frequent usage refers to two people exploring whether they are romantically or sexually compatible by participating in dates with the other. With the use of modern technology, people can date via telephone or computer or meet in person.
Dating may also involve two or more people who have already decided that they share romantic or sexual feelings toward each other. These people will have dates on a regular basis, and they may or may not be having sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement.
Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries. From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology , dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine. As humans societies have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies , there have been substantial changes in relations between people, with perhaps one of a few remaining biological constants being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen.
Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior. Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky constructed a reproductive spectrum with opposite poles being tournament species , in which males compete fiercely for reproductive privileges with females, and pair bond arrangements, in which a male and female will bond for life.
However, one particularity of the human species is that pair bonds are often formed without necessarily having the intention of reproduction. In modern times, emphasis on the institution of marriage, generally described as a male-female bond, has obscured pair bonds formed by same-sex and transsexual couples, and that many heterosexual couples also bond for life without offspring, or that often pairs that do have offspring separate. Thus, the concept of marriage is changing widely in many countries.
Historically, marriages in most societies were arranged by parents and older relatives with the goal not being love but legacy and "economic stability and political alliances", according to anthropologists. While pair-bonds of varying forms were recognized by most societies as acceptable social arrangements, marriage was reserved for heterosexual pairings and had a transactional nature, where wives were in many cases a form of property being exchanged between father and husband, and who would have to serve the function of reproduction.
Communities exerted pressure on people to form pair-bonds in places such as Europe ; in China , society "demanded people get married before having a sexual relationship"  and many societies found that some formally recognized bond between a man and a woman was the best way of rearing and educating children as well as helping to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings regarding competition for mates. Generally, during much of recorded history of humans in civilization, and into the Middle Ages in Europe , weddings were seen as business arrangements between families, while romance was something that happened outside of marriage discreetly, such as covert meetings.
From about a worldwide movement perhaps described as the "empowerment of the individual" took hold, leading towards greater emancipation of women and equality of individuals. Men and women became more equal politically, financially, and socially in many nations. Women eventually won the right to vote in many countries and own property and receive equal treatment by the law , and these changes had profound impacts on the relationships between men and women.
In many societies, individuals could decide—on their own—whether they should marry, whom they should marry, and when they should marry. A few centuries ago, dating was sometimes described as a "courtship ritual where young women entertained gentleman callers, usually in the home, under the watchful eye of a chaperone ,"  but increasingly, in many Western countries, it became a self-initiated activity with two young people going out as a couple in public together.
Still, dating varies considerably by nation, custom, religious upbringing, technology, and social class, and important exceptions with regards to individual freedoms remain as many countries today still practice arranged marriages, request dowries, and forbid same-sex pairings.
Although in many countries, movies, meals, and meeting in coffeehouses and other places is now popular, as are advice books suggesting various strategies for men and women,  in other parts of the world, such as in South Asia and many parts of the Middle East, being alone in public as a couple with another person is not only frowned upon but can even lead to either person being socially ostracized.
In the twentieth century, dating was sometimes seen as a precursor to marriage but it could also be considered as an end-in-itself, that is, an informal social activity akin to friendship.
It generally happened in that portion of a person's life before the age of marriage,  but as marriage became less permanent with the advent of divorce , dating could happen at other times in peoples lives as well. People became more mobile. Cars extended the range of dating as well as enabled back-seat sexual exploration. In the mid-twentieth century, the advent of birth control as well as safer procedures for abortion changed the equation considerably, and there was less pressure to marry as a means for satisfying sexual urges.
New types of relationships formed; it was possible for people to live together without marrying and without children. Information about human sexuality grew, and with it an acceptance of all types of sexual orientations is becoming more common. Today, the institution of dating continues to evolve at a rapid rate with new possibilities and choices opening up particularly through online dating.
Social rules regarding dating vary considerably according to variables such as country, social class, race, religion, age, sexual orientation and gender.
Behavior patterns are generally unwritten and constantly changing. There are considerable differences between social and personal values. Each culture has particular patterns which determine such choices as whether the man asks the woman out, where people might meet, whether kissing is acceptable on a first date, the substance of conversation, who should pay for meals or entertainment,   or whether splitting expenses is allowed.
Among the Karen people in Burma and Thailand , women are expected to write love poetry and give gifts to win over the man.
For example, director Blake Edwards wanted to date singing star Julie Andrews , and he joked in parties about her persona by saying that her "endlessly cheerful governess" image from movies such as Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music gave her the image of possibly having "lilacs for pubic hair";  Andrews appreciated his humor, sent him lilacs, dated him and later married him, and the couple stayed together for 41 years until his death in While the term dating has many meanings, the most common refers to a trial period in which two people explore whether to take the relationship further towards a more permanent relationship; in this sense, dating refers to the time when people are physically together in public as opposed to the earlier time period in which people are arranging the date, perhaps by corresponding by email or text or phone.
If two unmarried celebrities are seen in public together, they are often described as "dating" which means they were seen in public together, and it is not clear whether they are merely friends, exploring a more intimate relationship, or are romantically involved.
A related sense of the term is when two people have been out in public only a few times but have not yet committed to a relationship; in this sense, dating describes an initial trial period and can be contrasted with "being in a committed relationship".
Often physical characteristics, personality, financial status, and other aspects of the involved persons are judged and, as a result, feelings can be hurt and confidence shaken. Because of the uncertainty of the whole situation, the desire to be acceptable to the other person, and the possibility of rejection, dating can be very stressful for all parties involved.
Some studies have shown that dating tends to be extremely difficult for people with social anxiety disorder. While some of what happens on a date is guided by an understanding of basic, unspoken rules, there is considerable room to experiment, and there are numerous sources of advice available.
There are now more than businesses worldwide that offer dating coach services—with almost of those operating in the U. The copulatory gaze, looking lengthily at a new possible partner, brings you straight into a sparring scenario; you will stare for two to three seconds when you first spy each other, then look down or away before bringing your eyes in sync again.
This may be combined with displacement gestures, small repetitive fiddles that signal a desire to speed things up and make contact. When approaching a stranger you want to impress, exude confidence in your stance, even if you're on edge. Pull up to your full height in a subtle chest-thrust pose, which arches your back, puffs out your upper body and pushes out your buttocks.
Roll your shoulders back and down and relax your facial expression. There are numerous ways to meet potential dates, including blind dates, classified ads, dating websites, hobbies, holidays, office romance, social networking, speed dating, and others. A Pew study in which examined Internet users in long-term relationships including marriage, found that many met by contacts at work or at school. There is a general perception that men and women approach dating differently, hence the reason why advice for each sex varies greatly, particularly when dispensed by popular magazines.
For example, it is a common belief that heterosexual men often seek women based on beauty and youth. All of these are examples of gender stereotypes which plague dating discourse and shape individuals' and societies' expectations of how heterosexual relationships should be navigated.
In addition to the detrimental effects of upholding limited views of relationships and sexual and romantic desires, stereotypes also lead to framing social problems in a problematic way. For example, some have noted that educated women in many countries including Italy and Russia , and the United States find it difficult to have a career as well as raise a family, prompting a number of writers to suggest how women should approach dating and how to time their careers and personal life.
The advice comes with the assumption that the work-life balance is inherently a "woman's problem. Accordingly, an issue regarding dating is the subject of career timing which generates controversy. Some views reflect a traditional notion of gender roles. For example, Danielle Crittenden in What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us argued that having both a career and family at the same time was taxing and stressful for a woman; as a result, she suggested that women should date in their early twenties with a seriousness of purpose, marry when their relative beauty permitted them to find a reliable partner, have children, then return to work in their early thirties with kids in school; Crittenden acknowledged that splitting a career path with a ten-year baby-raising hiatus posed difficulties.
Columnist Maureen Dowd quoted comedian Bill Maher on the subject of differing dating agendas between men and women: In studies comparing children with heterosexual families and children with homosexual families, there have been no major differences noted; though some claims suggest that kids with homosexual parents end up more well adjusted than their peers with heterosexual parents, purportedly due to the lack of marginalizing gender roles in same-sex families.
It is increasingly common today, however, with new generations and in a growing number of countries, to frame the work-life balance issue as a social problem rather than a gender problem. With the advent of a changing workplace, the increased participation of women in the labor force , an increasing number of men who are picking up their share of parenting and housework,  and more governments and industries committing themselves to achieving gender equality, the question of whether or not, or when to start a family is slowly being recognized as an issue that touches or should touch both genders.
The prospect of love often entails anxiety, sometimes with a fear of commitment  and a fear of intimacy for persons of both sexes. There's something wonderful, I think, about taking chances on love and sex. Going out on a limb can be roller-coaster scary because none of us want to be rejected or to have our heart broken. But so what if that happens? I, for one, would rather fall flat on my face as I serenade my partner off-key and all in a bikini and a short little pool skirt than sit on the edge of the pool, dipping my toes in silence.
One dating adviser agreed that love is risky, and wrote that "There is truly only one real danger that we must concern ourselves with and that is closing our hearts to the possibility that love exists. What happens in the dating world can reflect larger currents within popular culture. For example, when the book The Rules appeared, it touched off media controversy about how men and women should relate to each other, with different positions taken by columnist Maureen Dowd of The New York Times  and British writer Kira Cochrane of The Guardian.
Since people dating often do not know each other well, there is the risk of violence , including date rape. Sara McCorquodale suggests that women meeting strangers on dates meet initially in busy public places, share details of upcoming dates with friends or family so they know where they'll be and who they'll be with, avoid revealing one's surname or address, and conducting searches on them on the Internet prior to the date. Don't leave drinks unattended; have an exit plan if things go badly; and ask a friend to call you on your cell phone an hour into the date to ask how it's going.
If you explain beautifully, a woman does not look to see whether you are handsome or not -- but listens more, so you can win her heart. That is why I advise our boys to read stories and watch movies more and to learn more beautiful phrases to tell girls. The Internet is shaping the way new generations date. Facebook , Skype , Whatsapp , and other applications have made remote connections possible.
Online dating tools are an alternate way to meet potential dates. Dating customs and habits vary considerably throughout the world. The average duration of courtship before proceeding to engagement or marriage varies considerably throughout the world.
According to one source, there are four ways that marriage can happen among the Nyangatom people: Asia is a mix of traditional approaches with involvement by parents and extended families such as arranged marriages as well as modern dating. Patterns of dating are changing in China, with increased modernization bumping into traditional ways. One report in China Daily suggests that dating for Chinese university women is "difficult" and "takes work" and steals time away from academic advancement, and places women in a precarious position of having to balance personal success against traditional Chinese relationships.
But in China, we study together. Like other women in my social circle, I have certain demands for a potential mate. He doesn't have to make much more than I do, but he must be doing at least as well as I am, and has to be compatible with me, both morally and spiritually He should also own an apartment instead of us buying one together.
Remember what Virginia Wolf [ sic ] said? Every woman should have a room of her own. The game show If You Are the One , titled after Chinese personal ads, featured provocative contestants making sexual allusions and the show reportedly ran afoul of authorities and had to change its approach. There are conflicting reports about dating in China's capital city.
He walks over and starts talking in iambic pentameter. Thinking about soulmates and being obsessed with limerence is very romantic. Her work is filled with all sorts of sad case studies of people who talk about the high and how at a certain point, they realized it was leading them astray.
It was a pure fantasy but it was hard to shake it off. Limerence is chemical fiction. The purest way to distinguish between limerence and love is: Am I saying you should have an arranged marriage?
Going into a long-term relationship focused on limerence leads to disappointment. But people in arranged marriages have no such illusions. And so they work. And so it works. Arranged marriages sound weird but they have the right attitude: But if you do the work, it pays off over the long haul. To learn the science behind how to be a good kisser, click here.
Okay, lots of talk so far about hard work. Is there a way to be more successful in your career and more successful in your relationship?
What does a lot of research say produces success in school and career? It works in relationships, too. Do you want devotion? To learn more about grit from leading expert Angela Duckworth, click here. Duckworth demonstrated the importance of grit in loving relationships by collecting grit scores from 6, middle-aged adults. After analyzing the data, and controlling for the influence of other personality traits and demographic factors, she found that gritty men were 17 percent more likely to stay married.
Relationships are challenging over the long term. So you want someone who has stick-to-itiveness. When I talked to Duckworth about it, her answer was very straightforward. Marriage has plenty of trying situations.
It lasts because we can make it last, because we keep putting in the work. Alright, so all these fancy studies have a lot to say. But can they predict who will split up? And the formula is quite simple…. Just ask a couple about their relationship. After assessing fifty-two couples based on their oral history interviews, the psychologists Kim Buehlman, John Gottman, and Lynn Katz at the University of Washington found that the way spouses described their history predicted whether they would get divorced within the next three years with 94 percent accuracy.
So what differs between the stories told by the happy couples and the not-so-happy couples? Again, everyone experiences conflict. In fact, my partner is awful. Every couple is going to go through hard times and go through points where they wonder if they should still be together. Then, the question becomes: Some couples find a way to glorify it.
To talk about how it brought them together. Nobody is happy on mile 20 of the marathon. But if you pass the finish line, the struggle makes the victory that much sweeter. And those are the stories that happy couples tell. To learn the recipe for a happy marriage, click here. Love is a challenge. But life is a greater challenge. But nobody is invulnerable. Bad things happen to all of us. We cannot avoid pain. But he can recover from almost any injury. And what helps you cope with the problems of life better than anything?
And makes you successful and happy? There is no easy life. Then, the question becomes, how do we cope with it? Men love having breadwinner girlfriends and wives. We dream of kicking back, watching football with our buddies, and having a housekeeper clean and cook while women work and bring in the bucks. Old post, but good read, I like your content.
In this case, I have to disagree big time though about dreaming about having a wife as the breadwinner. That would be my biggest nightmare.
I want my future wife to be motivated, not lazy or self entitled, sure, but I want her to be able to relax. I want to be able to dote on her excessively redundancy for emphasis haha. I want to be able to get her whatever she wants. Like every day she wakes up, amazed at how blessed she is and what opportunities she has.
That brings me to my last point. Loving someone for who they are often takes more work on your part than theirs. Loving based on performance demands consistent accomplishment and improvement. Make yourself worth it, every day. Increase your market share. Then you deserve to be loved.
To be clear, I absolutely want to love my girl for who she is, I only want the performance aspect of love applied to me. I love love your comment! I love what you said about her loving you based on performance. I believe I have time to work on myself as I turn 22 next year.
What reason do you want your future man to love you for? Someone grilled me on this the other day, and while I gave them the same answer as I wrote above, it got me thinking. What reasons would a woman want to be loved for?
Not to dismiss my above points, just some food for thought I was given to ponder a few days ago…. I find that when some people say that they want someone to accept them for who they are, they are trying to excuse accountability for the parts of them that may need improvement. If I lose my temper and hurt you emotionally because I keep flying off the handle, I want this to be pointed out.
On the beauty front, for example. I have family members who work hours a day, 6 days a week, and yet they still find the time to exercise and prepare the most nourishing meals for themselves. So I still do want to be seen for who I am instead of trying to make me like a clone of someone else …but I would love my husband to push me to become a better me. A better wife, a better mother, friend, etc. The greatest appeal that many men working toward their wealth have for me is that they have a growth-oriented mindset built into them already.
I just saw my comment from three years ago! I was reading the post on how to start a blog and stumbled on this post. Congratulations on your growth Mr Financial Samurai! I have gone on to date two rich men since my previous comment and I can say that all the points you made are true! What you failed to mention though is the complacency that being on such a relationship can sometimes bring especially if you are very young and neither established nor certain of what career path you want to take.
Like you said, he has the means to fly down whenever he wants! Hopefully I get my blog up and running soon. I rarely ask them though: Or do you want to be loved mostly for who you are? Just wondering if the street goes both ways.. Its a standard the man has set for himself. Most men give up when things get tough. And if some abuse it — it doesnt make it any less valueable. What i loved about this article is that it gave an insgith on how men think and want to be loved….
And as for what you asked if i would like to be loved based on my performance…….. Like im the only woman on earth he feels alive with. I would love everything you talked about. I love getting dressed up and looking nice but I Dont have a problem getting rough and muddy on a dirtbike or big truck!
I was always the one that cooked and cleaned and even financially supported my exes. I want to be the sexy bad ass woman that loves her man that takes care of her and loves her just as much as she loves him. I see a partnership as 2 people making a go of some common goal. My father used the utensil analogy of couples who are a fork and knife, versus couples who are a pair of chopsticks.
The job gets done, and each person has their role which is fixed by gender norms, or however you two decide. Chopstick couples do what each needs to do in a coordinated effort to get the job done, no fixed responsibilities that are the sole job of one person or the other. Things get done to both our benefit. Knowing which one you are goes a long way to having a good match. Ryan, I honestly believe in what you have posted and it sounds like a very balanced way of thinking.
Honestly, as a woman I would love to meet someone like you and continue working on my part-time business so that I feel useful with the gifts that I have. I think when both feel they are helping each other out that they have quite the potential together. Your comment was awesome. I consider myself a woman of substance and look forward to the day when I can be appreciated fully by the man I love. You seem like a truly amazing man and any woman will be lucky to have you.
I want a man with the same passion in my life. My issue is finding a man with such good qualities. I need to try and new path in my life and a new approach to dating. I really want to be with a good man who I know can take care of things. I am very intrigued by your mindset because I find it is the masculine version of my own. I do enjoy performance based love as well. Although I have been told constantly I am beautiful enough to not need much depth or skill. I feel there is a world full of beautiful people.
I wonder did you achieve the position in life you felt necessary to earn the life you mentioned? This is all V hilarious. Well for me I just want some one that is lonely and wants a nice woman to worship and respect him. For sure a man with money is a bonus. But to be honest. I would like to just meet someone that has a swimming pool in their back yard and a Jacuzzi. I would be the one to suggest it. I could never use a man for his money. But not willing to settle down in a place of my own yet.
Looking for the right area. I can love s a man with or without any money at all. But i am 54 years young. Someone that is the exact opposite of being after his money.
If I found a worthy very poor guy to love. I dont want to be a sugar momma. And am not looking for a sugar daddy. Just a nice established man.
Look me up for more info. And good luck to you all. Why would a rich man be bad without money? A nice guy with money is the same as a nice guy without money. If I am seriously that lonely, I can always go get a pet.
People are so shallow. Id rather be with a rich man than a poor man. Any woman who says otherwise is lying to themselves. Actually, she is the one who usually pays for everything. She seems to be madly in love with me O. With that said though, a lot of money can cause problems just as much as not enough money can… just different set of problems.
If pets can fulfill your desire for a SO, then awesome! Meghan, I have a similar mindset as you. I can always find something new to work on if a door is really truly closed.
Emily-I understand that girls want to be with a guy that is financially secure. It is easier to maintain a good relationship when there is even one less stressor to worry about.
However, I make girls earn their own money if they want something. If they want to buy a new car or a new pair of shoes, then she has to save her money to get it or build a new income stream to pay it off.
Additionally, any assets that I have and bank accounts are left in my name only. Financial Samurai-I think pets are a great alternative to companionship for me. I do agree with you though, pets can be a pain to have to keep clean. But pets are a lot nicer than the alternatives even if it means that I have to clean up more after them. Pets are great to have. Maybe you can live the rest of your life without someone to love, someone to love you, someone to hold at night and listen and be there for you at your time of need etc etc.
I never thought about finding a guy primarily because he was rich. I was more concerned about making a career for myself and being able to make my own money because relationships are not guaranteed and I knew I would need to have money of my own to be able to survive. Insightful points in this post.
I can see how a lit of rich people are self made and are very business focused. I think it just motivated you to work harder to be financially independent. But also the countless private inquiries I have from women asking me how and whether I can introduce them to single rich men.
Just giving audiences what they want. Not creatively enough, it seems! There are many interesting points made in this article about wealth and time and lifestyle.
Not so much mention about love and spirituality. Anyway my late Grandmother who grew up during the depression and had a happy and successful marriage with a man from similar circumstances knew I was a romantic. And any normal woman or man knows how to take it from there. I think most of the advice here can also apply to how you can keep your partner, most women tend to forget that they must also have a life of their own when in a relationship, and not to be so clingy.
Well, I am neither rich nor a woman looking for a rich man. Maybe they just want a man that will keep up with their lifestyle. Do rich women marry other rich men? I think rich women are often surround by other rich people in general. Therefore the chances of marrying at the same level is much higher. Women really need equals or richer men.
Did you collect these just from your experience, Sam, or was it from somewhere else? Begone, treacherous gold digger! I have the same feeling over looking good. I disagree with the ridiculous premise of this article. Who says that women are looking for rich men, specifically, anyways? I have friends, in fact, who make so much money that their husbands choose to be stay-at-home dads!
My sister married a rich man, and she spends most nights at home and deals with all the child issues because he is always at work. I would rather be home with my teacher husband. That makes rich men seem so shallow: It is because he was creative, passionate, hardworking, problem solving that made him his fortune.
Is that so bad? I agree that does make rich men seem shallow and is probably a generalization. I just watched Queen of Versailles this week, so I am a bit biased at the moment. However, I also think the title of this post makes women seem very shallow. I know there are lots who look for a rich husband to make their dreams come true, but it is kind of a slap in the face to those of us who are trying to be entrepreneurs and earn our own way. Should we ignore the plight and desire of others and only see our point of view?
So many different people have different wishes. I think we should be more open to topics to understand people. It just turns out that way if the husband is less motivated about working or making money than the wife is. Oh if you could read my e-mails from women and look at the random search terms that hit Google analytics.
There are many more women wondering than you believe. I hope one day the majority of women are breadwinners in the family. It would sure reduce stress related illnesses in men! Time for women to whip men in shape! Start the movement Holly. And start on Greg first!
Most men I know are lazy as hell while their wives coordinate nearly every part of their lives. AS IF washing his own clothing should be considered some sort of gift to me.
A must read for all women with stay at home men! If the woman is the breadwinner, they think they are so smart to get a woman to do that. They may disguise it by saying they are so lucky, etc. It was so easy to get ahead with a little application, but to make himself feel like he was in control and behind it all, he was a slob and abusive to me, and then he could also blame me for no sex. He dumped me and claimed all our property no character at all. I did check him out with people who knew him and the family and they all gave him the A-1 rating for being a good guy.
But I was vindicated later when friends reported the second and third wives were abused in the same way. Never mind, I left and never looked back. As for marrying a rich man, here is my experience.
I dated a lot of wealthy and extremely rich men over the next 15 years and then realized I just did not want to compromise in any way. I like the idea of a compatible partner though.
But there is no way I would marry a rich man without character or one who spent all the time on business. That is addiction or a preference, not a requirement to make money. I know enough wealthy and extremely rich men and women to know that the smart ones do not spend all their time on the phone or away. They take a lot of time to enjoy life.
If they are into you and vice versa, they have plenty of time to pay attention on a long term basis. The richer you are, the more your money makes money without you doing very much. In fact, I am rich enough to do that solo. While my friends work their asses off in business or renovating houses and also take much bigger financial risks, I relax while my money does the work with far less risk.
Sam, I like your comment about wanting companionship and laughs from a partnership. What makes a person physically attractive is energy, a smile, meticulous grooming, nice clothes, health and fitness, etc.
What makes them a viable partner is character, being interesting and happy, mutual interests and goals, humor, intelligence, etc. As much as I hate the idea of this article, I know there are entire websites of women looking for a sugar daddy, and rich men wanting companionship. Weird how nobody believes women are looking for wealthy men and vice versa.
And let me clarify my statement above. Money is a factor. Everybody despises people who marry others for money. On the other hand, if the rich party is older, he may have to resort to his wealth to do some attraction for him, which is sad. Choosing a partner that can provide a secure future is all just part of the natural selection process…but, if you are singling out rich dudes or sugar mamas you are destined for eventual misery. Wealthy means having enough family, friends and cash to be satisfied and live a rewarding life….
Of course it is rational…just like it is rational for men to go after fit women with large breasts and shapely bottoms since nature has programmed us that they give they highest probability for our offspring to survive and prosper.
I know rich men married to large breasted shapely women with no kids. The wife earns a lot of money too. Women like to know that they can attract men and personally, I like dressing very classy and I do enjoy most the high end of life. I still think it is important for me to work part time despite having a man in my life who has lots of money. That is not what attracts me the most- it is more the caring, loving and affectionate side — of course the financial situation helps however I am fully aware of the dangers that money can bring.
I agree with this instinct you speak of. We all want pleasure, comfort, and security. My father told me this. I enjoy real men. Men who are comfortable with themselves. I often see that the matching of rich men and women looking for money and indeed vice-versa primarily for the reasons of money is one of the worst possible matches for a relationship. Whenever you see a big guy and a skinny pretty young girl people presume he has money. Do you think a guys that finds the exceptional woman the first time, if he gets divorced looks for a dumber one?
I must admit, out of all your posts these relationship type articles are the weirdest to read. Seems that most have a bit of a gold-digger slant to them. Really enjoy your pf posts. I would say your personal relationship articles hurts the credibility of this blog. Could you explain why? I find the dynamics of relationship and money fascinating and many people have emailed me and searches for these answers in private before.
Why do you think some people want to restrict what I can say and are so stringent? What else would you like me to do for you? I like that this post gets it out of the way. Especially if the woman wants kids.
I think a lot of you guys are completely forgetting that fact. Only women can have kids, so if a woman wants to be rich or at least have enough money to never worry about money again and have kids and actually be there for them , what is she meant to do? Men will never need to worry about this in the same way women will, even if you say you will happily be a stay-at-home dad.
Well, fine, but what if the woman wants to be a stay-at-home mum? I also do not want to be one of those workaholic women who only see their kids after work.
Women want to find rich husbands because of the need for kids.. Did the couple ever talk about their ambitions, dreams and future life? Were kids a definite yes, no or maybe? Then, money can come into play, as well as resent over lack of it. As far as the question of what can a woman do if she wants to have plenty of money to support her and her kids..
And then adopt children? I may be missing something, but that seems a little unreasonable…. Well, the reason it seems like the burden is on the MAN to make money is because, last I checked, most men are not very interested at looking after kids.
Especially in Asian countries, most of the men do not want to bother with kids at all and dump it all on the woman. Sure, in an ideal world, a woman should be able to make her fortune and also have enough time to date, get married and have kids.
Unfortunately, the problem is time. To switch roles and suddenly be a stay at home mum and not worry about money anymore.. Of course young women fantasize about having money and spending it more than having kids.
But despite what these women say, thoughts of kids will come up eventually.. So thats not the bargain you want. But thats the whole point. The women in question are not looking for you. What makes you think a financially well off person would not want a younger spouse and kids? So its back to what you said; good communication, and knowing what you want. In this case, a wealthy guy who wants to be the breadwinner and provider. There is nothing wrong with that, just like there is nothing wrong with a woman that wants to have kids.
Not adopt kids when she is too old to properly take care of them, but to have her own biological children when she is young enough to enjoy them. Or are he and his finances just the means to a quicker end kids? Or is this only if he does an inadequate job of loving you? Just not usually a personality trait of someone successful.
To be rich, you have to control the most coveted and most squandered asset in the world. I talk with are under, say, I will probably notice that change when it starts taking place, which is COOL!!! Something else to look forward to. I for one really appreciate the guts and honesty Sam has for writing about such topics. Being able to go out on a limb on a topic where so many women and men think about but are too afraid to address provides huge credibility in my mind. Here you are complaining about credibility?
Give me a break. I work with a few thousand brave young men and women who deploy to the desert every day, that takes guts. True, I have no blog and am a consumer of PF blogs only, a point not lost on me and that I freely give to Sam backup a couple posts and read my comments , however, I call bullshit when I see it Janey. I even show my ugly mug on postings. What else you looking for?
Thanks for giving me the green light to go ahead and write a lot of affiliate posts Chris! I really do appreciate it. Going through the dating scene now I can perfectly related to all of your points above. Gotta admit that it is not easy to find your better half so instead I am focusing to be a better me. Sorry for the breakup Hiro. Better earlier than later as I try to always think. Good tactic focusing on a better self. In response, a banker calls this a bad business deal and a depreciating asset.
I never knew there was a response from the girl. Very interesting…thanks for sharing. Although after reading the response…it makes me think that the whole thing was a prank.
Still a fun read though. I love them both, but growing up I knew I never wanted to be my mom. Anyways, good advice for single women. I think there comes a point in most of our lives where a successful man becomes more attractive to us than a pretty man.
Maybe this happens at about Ahh, a beautiful life with a lack of autonomy. What a predilection of sorts. To be autonomous is glorious. It is why so many long to quit their jobs and do something on their own. Wise words on there comes a point. It was a tear jerker. Hawaiians really throw the best weddings — so beautiful and fun. They embody true love. Certainly one way to look at it. At the end of the day, money is money but we appreciate our time together and building wealth together.
On a side note, your post reminds me of Eddie Murphy, back in the day, as he was always talking about wanting a woman who would want to be with him because of him and not his money. It means true love. That you were lucky to find each other so soon and never really cared about money despite running a personal finance site.
A level headed response. May I ask why you think some have taken offense to this post? Does it undermine people? Because from all the conversations and inquiries this topic seems highly interesting to women and men. I wonder, though, is your article based on pointers from successful gold diggers, or from rich men knowing what they are looking for? Because, well, I could probably give you some pointers from real successful gold diggers. I hail from the land of gold diggers, where competition is fierce the above list is not enough.
In another life, I sort of…was one. Until the day I fell in love with a poor guy who was the love of my life and I decided that I had all the tools to become wealthy on my own. I wanted the respect that came with earning it all on my own. It seems like nowadays that would be the consensus. They would say so because they were never in a similar situation, never had been presented with a such a choice, and think the choice would be so logical, so easy.
But it is weird sometimes, to remember who I used to be. What I used to look like. The keys to the mansion and Ferrari I used to have. Seeing people on TV and magazines that I used to have dinner with. While the new people around me fantasize about that life and saying they would drop everything for it.
The same people would be so quick to tear me apart if I ever told them who I used to be though!!! I suppose this is why I feel ambivalent about the subject. But I suppose for the women who really want to lock down a rich dude, I can advise.
It would be fun to talk about it like that. I never really have before. I think I know exactly how you feel. It must also feel annoying to be discredited based on your looks. How awesome does it feel to make it on your own yeah? The article is based off my personal thoughts and experiences as well as insights from women who have explicitly told me this is their goal.
Anyway, Sam, you did it again. I actually did not have a method I could share and nothing I did or what happened to me can really be replicated. I had a genuine connections with them! You said your goal was to incite introspection and you have done just that. Forcing myself to think about it was better than therapy. I also wanted to mention that I think that in general, your article is good relationship advice period. Not just for women who want a rich guy, but for any woman who wants any guy.
Most guys think the way you describe in your article! I dated a rich man for 7 months. I was not interested in him at the start.
I am self employed, and put 2 kids through college. I run my own life. Then I fell for him….. He was very good to me, we connected on every level… Then the magic day came… I had a bump in the road with my business, and was feeling emotional leading up to this day. The day I asked him to help me financially because I needed it is the very day he suddenly broke it off…. I never asked for a thing, I pay for my own possessions etc.
I was shattered that he did not have my back….. Meanwhile I am here giving him my time, love and attention, moving my schedule to suit his corporate schedule as we would never see each other or find a connection otherwise. He agreed and was thankful that I would do this. It was the first time I really put a man first…. Yikes, sorry to hear about him not having your back. In fact, it would be my honor if you were my lady. I was and still am trying to find answers, researching, reading the mentality behind it.
I mean could he be so insecure to think that I could not love him for him? And I did not appreciate not having my back the most….. When a regular guy would and did help in a minute flat…. Maybe he grew up extremely poor and has fears of going back. It is tough to say. Sometimes, the more you make the stingier you become.
Even if your kids are like dying or you have to live on the street. This is SO important. I know because being someone who came from no money to suddenly making money, all my poor friends seemed to suddenly want to borrow money. Hence why, I mention this. If you do it right, they will happily hand money over without you ever needing to ask for a penny. Can a wealthy man marry another wealthy woman.
I am considered over ambitious and according to my parents, my overambitiousness is unhealthy for a lady like me because they think I ll never get married.
They say men will be afraid of me. It depends more on personality and appearance imo. I think wealthy women are great! The article made me laugh. Where does your experience come from? Some of the advices as I think are exactly the opposite of what the woman should do. When I tried to show interest at dating sites and asked men questions about their jobs — they just disappeared or avoided answering.
If the woman goes away for 3 months as it was adviced to follow her goals or goes away to parties alone with friends all the times — I doubt any man, not only a rich man, will be happy with, when she returns back no wonder if she finds some substitute at her place.
But if some less atractive woman passes by in short skirt and high heels she is still looked at. One important thing was missed, rich men want only women under 30 or under 25, if you are older than that the chances are deminishing increasingly. It seems these advices saying that the woman should be independent to attract a man concern the middle class men which are well off. Second, communication skills are really important speaking, writing in shorter paragraphs, etc. I think you need to work on that if you speak close to the way you write.
I agree with nearly every thing in this article and find it spot on. For my case though I disagree that money makes me feel more attractive.
I want her to want me for my hardworking ethics and I seek that in a woman mostly as well. My daughter is a pretty young lawyer from a middle class family and is married to a handsome young, rich doctor from a wealthy family. All things being equal, what seemed to charm him the most was that, although she had dated many men over the years, she had only been intimate with one man before him.
He was actually quite sexually active before he met my daughter which is why she insisted on std testing before they were intimate! Thanks for sharing that there are guys out there who see the worth of reaching for the apples at the top of the tree. I met a rich guy a week ago , he is really handsome and all. He started talking dirty with me on our chats and i played along. He then suggested that we meet in his office and have some fun , i told him that i really like him but i am not that kinda gal.
He started telling me about how he has taste , class in women and has dated a lot of celebs and travelled the world. I felt so bad. He even said that difficult women turn him off. Now i am in a dilemma. I really like this guy but i dont want to compromise my values for that. What should i do …. What you should really do is tell him to back off, show no weakness. I never dated a rich guy but I dated a guy who came from a former rich family, meaning he was raised in a rich environment.
That is SO laughable, he got two cars, paid college tuition, several loans and his mother and sister are always there to aid him in food and clothes, a free roof over his head into his mid twenties.
How insightful but I have a question, FS. I believe wealthy people tend to be savers that live ridiculoulsy below their means. I do free clubs and activities, which just reflect a cross-section of society. So… where are they really? Sounds like they are, like me, at the office working late on their own.
Thank you for the article. Apart from providing the very obvious tips it also gave a huge insight to the life of the wealthy — how they think and what they value.
And how to think like the wealthy. Made the rich more human. That it offers choices and experiences and satisfaction from life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I hope you find someone you love, if not already.
Once I had a short relationship with a Rich boy who was 4. Then I dumped him because I got to know he is a flirty. But we are still good friends and he still appreaciate me. At that time what I understood is for a Richman what is more important is if you will accept him even without his money. This boy I met was the only son of a rich dad. So he mostly attract women for his money.
But if you can appreaciate him for himself , he will fall for you more than anyone else. And of course Richmen like independant women. If you can show him you do not want his money, but only him that will be a big plus.
Hi, got to this post because I am finding myself in a similar situation. I met him at a conference and I was my friendly self. He had the sincerest smile and I found him interesting. I was surprised that he invited me for dinner afterwards. By the way, he is 22 years older than me. When we met, he automatically concluded that I was older because of my position in the industry.
He would text me each morning when he wakes and at night before he sleeps…and would call me at least once a day. It feels wonderful but I am scared. Of what, I am not sure He is usually formal when we meet. But can get free with his emotions in texts. He has invited me for an overnight stay in one of his beach houses as his guest but I have not yet obliged him.
I feel it is too soon. For someone who is secured in herself, I suddenly feel nervous around him. I am even tempted to end whatever this is that is starting. Some of you are sounding like a bunch of gold digging bitches, if I was a rich man I would run for the hills. Remember they will have the upper hand. How about findinging someone you respect and if they happen to be rich great. How about getting your SHIT, nothing is sexier than a woman who has her own and holds her own. Most rich men are fairly loyal family men.
They are the breadwinners at the later part of life, but they often meet their significant other before they are wealthy, and sometimes the wife needs to support them in the beginning. I have never noticed that wealthier men are likely to be scoundrels. And many of the wealthier men I know, hang around with poorer friends they have known all their life.
But then, if you love someone, you protect them, thats how all men are. I think if you asked a wealthy man if they wanted a wife that was independently wealthy, they would say; yes, but I also think they would be lying.
They like the control being the one with the money gives them, even if that control is largely imaginary. I am married to a rich man… He is always busy and spends no time for me… always tired, even in bed. Hello, are there any nice. If there is anyone that wants to chat. Can you handle lying all the time?
Are you a good actor? You better take a drama class in college before you try this shit…ya damn hoe. This topic had to be written by a real Stupid woman, and first of all there just so many very high maintenance women out there today looking for a rich man.
Having money and a career means that you have your shit together. In fact my guy friend said that I am one of the few women he knows that has their shit together that is available. He told me that the people he worked for were rich! I was so confused as he has no idea what really is rich.
I like the honesty, but the perception of the world at his age is skewed. God forbid if many of you women had to work as hard as the women back in the old days, and both men and women back then had to struggle to make ends meat.
My life has recently changed drastically as my wife of 17 years passed away in October after battling breast cancer for 5 years. I never pictured myself dating in my 40s I was 43, now 44 as I was happily married. However, you must go with the cards life deals you. I did need help as I have 3 younger kids. One woman who was a friend of my wife and is very attractive was over all the time. Well, we did end up dating. It ended after a few months. She was 49, very attractive, twice divorced, and broke.
She began borrowing money from me. Larger and larger amounts. She talked marriage say what? She wanted to buy a very large, expensive house together. She liked borrowing my Audi. I was in a grief fog so I was pretty blind to all this at the time. I look back now and realize, wow, what was I thinking. I got out before major damage.
I later found out the trail of financial destruction she had bestowed upon another man a few years prior. She still owes me a lot of money. However, if need be, my attorney says I have an airtight case to sue her for the money.
I can relate to this article. I am very sorry for your loss. I am sure your children are devastated as well. So sad that a your wife and mother was separated from her family in this way. I just want to say that you are a very fortunate man to have had such a loving wife and children. It is obvious that she did provide you and your kids with a certain amount of emotional support.
Then she was very aggressive about economic security for herself. While I certainly understand why you would push her away at this point, bear in mind that she did provide comfort, despite her ulterior motives.
If you feel the economic price you paid is too high, I would definitely get a lawyer involved. If it is an emotional price, I would recommend you walk away having been the wiser. Unfortunately many people are taken advantage of by opportunistic people who leave psychological and emotion ruin in their wake.
Ask yourself what the reason for pursuing a lawsuit might be. I would think, from the sound of your comment, that the main reason you would take legal action would be to help prevent someone else from falling prey to this woman and to shine a light on her ulterior motives. If not too much money is at stake, I would not push for the money as she did help you with your children in your time of need.
Obviously she is a very needy woman. Perhaps the only reason to make a case of it is to warn another widower in advance. How much would you be willing to pay an attorney? An expensive personal vendetta on top of losing your wife might not be worth it. Perhaps the emotional toll her actions have taken on your family is so heavy that a legal case may be therapeutic for you.
You sound like a sober minded individual. Proceed cautiously and you will make the best decision for your own peace of mind. I hate sound repetitive, but loads of single people who are never married with no kids get mislead by a romantic partner every day of the week. Only you can determine if it is worth going to a court of law. That said, I would not condone any person trying to manipulate another in their time of grief.
It is morally wrong. I can tell you the conduct I have seen first hand upon the death of a loved one can be atrocious. Perhaps this woman needs a wake up call. It is nice to be kind. You got out of it soon enough. I hope the economic loss was not too great. I have never date a rich man in my whole life. I would like to meet one very rich man that can take me from this life of misery.
It sounds as though English is your second language, due to the ungrammatical sentence you posted. You need to improve yourself. A wealthy man is not going to marry someone from a third world unless that person is also successful, i. You have to rescue yourself. Did you know interracial marriages are surprise for you more successful?! People like you living in their own bubble get on my nerves.
I think this article is very interesting. But I do disagree with many of these points. In that I feel like the expectations that money can attract quality women is off.
I think money, like any other advantage in life eg. Most people end up marrying those that they like and are just around. People who are of equal social status tend to marry one another. I think sensible rich men would try to marry rich women and so on so forth.
Because it is just easier that way.
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