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We all agree that traffic makes dating harder sometimes. The commute each way after 6pm can take an hour or longer. In this scenario, we hope that these two people would be okay meeting in the middle.
But what if the woman wants the man to go to her? What kind of messaging is she sending if she insists on that? Would he always expect her to compromise if she meets him halfway early on in the relationship? If these were our clients, we would suggest meeting in the middle. As matchmakers, we would set up the date at a place we know the guy would like. For example, we know he likes Italian food. So, we would pick a nice Italian restaurant for them to go to for drinks or dinner.
The man pays on the first date. We also hope the woman does not expect him to drive all the way to her, all the time. They want the woman to be comfortable and not have to drive far.
And ladies, keep in mind, it would be nice that you spend that time to get ready and look amazing when you do meet. And, you should be on time, if not early. When a woman expects the man to go to her all the time, it usually does not sit well with him. Maybe the first couple of dates, he can go to her. Then she should at least offer to reciprocate. It makes it sound like the women are unreasonable and have unrealistic expectations right off the bat.
A woman from the South, from the East Coast, or who is type A and wants a guy to take charge might expect the guy to be a gentleman and offer to go to her part of the town. Anything less than that, she is not interested in him and quickly dismisses him as a future partner. Hmmm, what should she do? Well, you are in LA now, so you have to adjust with different dating mentalities and different type of people in LA.
Anything more than one slash is a turn off to majority of the men we work with. There are some women that insists on not dating in their part of town. So, they want to meet in the middle somewhere or away from their city. Sometimes women who grew up in one part of town might know a lot of people there. There are men who always want to make a great first impression.
If he lives in Orange County and she lives in Santa Monica, he might step it up and be a gentleman and drive to her side of town. He offers, she accepts. Let him do it. Just like if she offers to contribute to the check and he refuses, she should let him pay the bill. I come to you. I pay the bill. Women just sometimes have to accept a man being a gentleman. It all comes down to communication.
Feel out the situation. Find out where she or he is coming from. Do what is reasonable. Yes, there are so many resources available to him now online, he should be able to find a place on his own.
I personally would limit my dating to someone in my area. But, the more open you are, the more people you can meet. I asked readers last week to submit their comments about this topic. This is what people replied:. I would do the difficult driving and meet near her.
Totally different with your service because both sides have more accountability with how they behave.
Likewise a guy can be exploited with no consequences. Man is always at street side. OK maybe my own silliness. The man should offer to come to you. I, however, do not mind meeting halfway for the first initial meeting, or even his part of town. I feel as long as he has a solid plan, I am OK with it. What I do not like is asking me where i want to go, unless you give me a couple of options. It shows that they put thought and effort into the meeting.
That is more important to me than the part of town. It is very gentlemanly and it makes me feel good and puts him in my mind as a good guy right away. I do not always accept, but the offer is nice. I will say, if he wants a second date and he does not offer to come to me, it is very disappointing.
Especially, if I made the effort to meet in the middle or near him the first date. If they are not willing to drive an hour or two to meet you, what sets you apart from the next Jane Doe he meets tomorrow?
It makes me laugh a little especially when they also want him to pick the place. They insist they can, haha. The thing is this never stops them from getting a lot of dates so I guess their demands work for them. Chivalry — guys should do it because it is the right thing to do. And is afraid to share that information before the meeting. But some people have a hard time seeing at night. Single mom — she could have kids at home. Maybe she hired a babysitter. The longer she is out the more expensive the babysitter will be.
I offer to pay for babysitting — per advice from older siblings. Gas — it is nice if she does not have to spend more on fuel. Most girls do not like going to the gas station and touching the dirty fuel nozzle. They know the guy wants to be chivalrous — and they usually appreciate the generous action. Happiness is in the giving — What a great chance for a guy to be a generous person. Even if there is no love connection — the guy has a wonderful chance to be thoughtful and kind to another person-Man.
I am seriously looking for someone, and my goal is for us to meet each other in person and get a feel of what he is like. Even if that includes meeting half way or driving up to his area. Everyone has their own belief system and thoughts on gender roles based on their experiences and culture. For me though, meeting a guy half way is not a bad thing. We meet when and where is best for both. I would expect it if the couple are in a relationship.
So, there you have it. Opinions from men and women. I hope this helps and sets you up to be a good dater in the future in regards to dating and distance! If online dating is not for you, then you should check out what matchmaking is all about.
Contact us today for a free consultation and let us find the great dates for you. What should I expect during my interview? Your meeting will be minutes. We reviewed your application and sounds like you might be looking for one of the clients we are searching for. Mason will ask questions to get to know you better! This will help the matchmakers understand if you are a good match […]. It needs time and patience to meet the person which you can immediately say that there is a spark going on with your relationship.
An online dating profile […]. One example of what we mean when we say that women like when men take charge is: Women want to be asked out. They want men to go after them.
Hi May, I just wanted to give an update. She still mentions the profile […]. Let me pause my activity with your […].
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