I miss what we Black girl massage really want to meet somebody. This is quite random but I thought id give it a shot.
Waiting for a hotty nice in shape man waiting for a women who like to meet and have a hot sex encounter.
Strong Black Women seem to find it extremely challenging to find a worthy mate, companion, or life partner. Even when they do meet a suitable person of interest many times because of his emotional or past challenges, we the men take ourselves out of the game.
One of the things I hear the most from women is, "I'm not going to raise a grown man. Once she feels like she's starting to settle or lower her standards in the relationship or dating phase her guard goes up and the distance begins. Fellas, if you have found the woman of your dreams do everything in your power to work on yourself! Not for her, but for her! Let me explain; Don't do it to impress her but do it to be a better man for her! As hard as it is for a woman to find a good man, it is equally as hard for a good man to find a good woman.
So don't let your past issues or personal issues sabotage a good thing. God has given us the ability to grow and overcome any emotional, or physical challenge we face in this dating game!!!
Never portray yourself larger than what you really are: The day of showing our representative must die! Show her from the door who you really are, and be honest about your intentions no matter what they my be. A Strong Black Woman S. Have a purpose behind dating her! Let her know you have standards also Make sure everything you say and do in the presence or in the absence of a S.
Consistency is our great strength when dealing with a S. You know they say news travels fast, so if you do something in public that gets back to her, it needs to be constant with the man she already knows you to be. The moment we have to explain some shit sorry for cursing , her guard goes up! OK, it's man up time, fellas. You know we like to throw a sob story or two to prick her heart a little because she comes across so tough!!! I've been guilty of this several times, OK and maybe its just me?
Talking about past relationship issues is always a must when dating, but whining about past relationship issues is never a good look. How do you know if you're whining If she has that WTF face Let her know you had that issue but you have done the work on yourself and today you no longer have that issues.
If you want to prick her emotions do from a position of strength. Many times we men are so scared from past relationships that when we enter new ones we process and filter everything she does and says through a negative filter. If it looks like it, sounds like it, it must be! Letting go of the old is essential to build the new.
If you ever have a question to what a S. They have no problem clarifying any of their statements. Don't make the mistakes I've made and assume what she's saying to you through that negative lens from your past. Show her you have the ability to communicate and resolve issues without fighting or battling. Assuming only makes us look like an ass. If you know this is the woman you want and you are willing to step up and be Let her know you can see the future with her.
Don't talk about marriage unless you mean it. Fellas you know it doesn't take us long to determine who we want to marry. If you can see her in your future work towards dating, marriage, getting old with after a while I've learned the hard way S. We can take this as a negative or a positive?
We can either say, "she kicking my ass" or "she is trying to get us to a place of clarity. The key is learning to express it clearly, staying on topic without bringing up the past and throwing things in her face you never talked about , but most of all, understanding what she is saying from a position of love. This is a hard thing to swallow but if that S. Initially it may hurt but knowing she's not trying to hurt you is the key to trust someone with your emotions.
Life has its ups and downs so the money you have today may be gone tomorrow. Impress her with you patience, character, and your ability to provide whatever is needed in any situation. The day of flossing is over, if you have to floss to get We should always show we are workers, providers, and we will never leave them to do it alone!
Be confident in what you make and your ability to grow, don't feel the need to sell her on a fantasy of one day we will. Admit when you're wrong: Just say you're sorry, admit you're wrong, you overreacted She will respect you making a mistake but she's gonna have a problem with you blaming her for something she has no knowledge of or didn't intentional do. I've learned there's no love lost by falling back and giving her space, with her heart if it was meant for you it will be yours no matter where she is.
This is where we must control our egos and imaginations because they both will get the best of us if we let them. Trust is the key but if we have trust issues we have to communicate them to resolve them. We cannot suppress them and think they'll be resolved. Giving her freedom allows her to refocus and be refreshed Breathe keep your mind occupied and remember what's for you will always be for you. Trying to control her will push her away even more. Fellas, when we make the decision to be in a relationship with a S.
It is our responsibility to provide growth and growth opportunities for the relationship to evolve or progress to that level of effectiveness. It is impossible to do it without God! Being a Power Couple has nothing to do with money, but everything to do with God Power Couples will raise great kids, work through issues and challenges without losing their love for each other, build great business together, challenge each other spiritually and emotionally, speak to the world on God's behalf, take walks in the park, have great conversation, make movies together, write a book together, have sex all day together, kick the kids out the house together, travel together, worship together, love and trust together, hurt together, fight for each other, stack money together, stand on top of the world together, believe the impossible together!
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Men with incomplete spinal cord injuries may achieve reflex, but not psychogenic erections. While a more than adequate blessing for most, such erections are not always sustainable or strong enough for penetrative sex. Not only can unpredictable erections cause embarrassing situations during sexual intimacy but for wheelchair users in public being void of sensation below the level of injury unaware they have an erection.
It has been reported that 45 percent of men have experienced orgasm after spinal cord injury. Complete injuries involving S2 to S4 affect the nerves responsible for two main chambers corpora cavernosa of the penis which fill with blood to create an erection, damage at and above this level makes reflex physically stimulated erections totally unachievable for most.
If a sphincterectomy has been performed reflex and psychogenic erections are rarely possible. Difficulties with erections may eventually be experienced by nearly half of men with Multiple Sclerosis MS caused by lesions of the thoracic spine and autonomic nerves. The most sensitive area of the penis is the fraenum underside of penis head. A vibrator applied to the fraenum can not only induce erection but orgasm, ejaculation.
For a woman laying face up the erogenous zone is two to three inches inside the vagina and upward, called the G-spot. Women with incomplete spinal injuries are generally able to produce vaginal lubrication and enjoy wheelchair sex. For women with complete injuries between T10 and T12 there is typically an absence of either psychogenic or reflex lubrication.
Attempted penetration of the vagina by any means may trigger adductor and pelvic floor muscle spasm. Be patient and never force entry.
It has been reported that 53 percent of women have experienced orgasm after spinal cord injury. The introduction of oral medications Viagra and Ciallis have largely replaced their intracavernosal predecessors. I have tried Viagra several times. In the interests of research for this wheelchair sex article of course. Devices such as vacuum erection pumps can initiate erection and tight rings or bands applied to the base of penis will restrict blood drain from the penis once erection is achieved.
Penile pump implants are also available but carry risk of erosion, leakage, or infection requiring removal. Disability sex aids like sex wedges, sex swings, vibrators, the height of a bed or table, power tilt on a wheelchair and easily removable arm rests are worth consideration when purchasing equipment with wheelchair sex in mind.
Partners of wheelchair users will attest the wheelchair itself becomes a sexual aid at times. For the more sexually adventurous, electric powered mechanical sex seats and fetish equipment like neck braces, casts, catheters, crutches, straitjackets, bondage, electrostimulators, mouth spreaders, and speculum devices exist.
Sex lubricants such as K-Y Jelly can assist in achieving sexual penetration and increase enjoyment of wheelchair sex. How do people in wheelchairs have sex? Just like any other person, usually in bed. Some sexual positions are more difficult in bed after spinal cord injury as paralysis makes it hard to roll over or climb on top, compounded by loss of leg function for support, and hips for thrust.
Most modern wheelchairs have easy to remove armrests, swing away footplates, folding backrests and locking brakes and such easily accommodate wheelchair sex and greater sexual freedom. Those in wheelchairs due to spinal cord injury often describe their wheelchair as their legs and therefore it becomes a part of their sexuality. Paraplegics rely on upper body strength to perform adventurous wheelchair sex positions. Quadriplegics or Tetraplegics rely on assistance from their partner to do the same.
For wheelchair sex sliding the paralyzed male or females bottom to the front edge of the wheelchair seat gives greater access for sex. When both sex partners have high level spinal cord injuries a sex worker may be employed to assist in wheelchair sex and intercourse.
Be aware when limited sensation below the level of spinal cord injury exists, sensitivity above the level of injury often increases, and can become hypersensitive. Go easy on those nipples. Some find paralysis and wheelchair users very sexually attractive and actively seek them as partners.
Most are caring empathetic people genuinely interested in people with disabilities. Occasionally however such relationships are sought assuming that a position of dominance and control will be given and can result in conflict or violence. Wheelchair sex fetish should not be thought of as perverse. Like any sexual practice it only becomes unhealthy or inappropriate and often illegal when forced into or thrust upon minors and unsuspecting, unwilling parties.
For example; public masturbation, flashing and up-skirting. As a C4 incomplete quadriplegic male able to achieve reflex but not psychogenic erections the sight of my beautiful girlfriend still makes me want to pin her to the wall and tear her lingerie off with my teeth.
A clinical diagnosis deeming psychogenic, sexual thought and erotic vision of no benefit to establishing erection, bares no relevance in the bedroom. Scented candles, rose petals, lingerie, nudity, enticement, foreplay, wheelchairs and other apparatus can hold new use and appreciation for both sexes.
Blessed with a patient willing partner I even turn my head sideways looking at my hoist lately. It took time to recognize that what I was feeling during sex was less about physical sensation and more of a mental build-up.
It was completely frustrating at first, but I think part of the healing process was learning the ways my body works differently after my accident. Experiment with your partner to discover the new frontier spinal cord injury and wheelchair sex brings. Talk with them to learn about their body, likes and dislikes. People with a physical disability often have a poor self body image, thinking they are damaged goods, broken, somehow less than. Often an able-bodied sex partner will feel guilt for having full sensation.
Healthy love making is about pleasing your partner. The person with limited sensation from spinal cord injury often derives great joy and sexual satisfaction from simply pleasuring their partner. For seminal emission to occur the spinal cord nerves from T11 to L2 to the vasa deferentia, seminal vesicles, and prostate must be intact.
Emission being a trickling or leakage of semen with no rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor muscles as in true ejaculation. Some with complete cord lesions at lumbar or sacral level may be able to achieve psychogenic erections and emission. Retrograde ejaculation, where the semen is ejected into the bladder rather than the urethral meatus is common. When ejaculation cannot be achieved by sexual intercourse it may be induced by masturbation or vibrator stimulus of the fraenum underside tip of the penis.
Emissions may also be induced by rectal electroejaculation a vibrator applied to prostate via the anus. When neither ejaculation nor emission can be achieved collection of sperm by epididymal aspiration or testicular biopsy a sample collected from testicles by needle is possible. Fertility in men progressively reduces after spinal cord injury.
A low sperm count with diminished motility swim strength is often due to continuing non-ejaculation, infection and raised testicular temperatures from sitting in a wheelchair and laying in bed for long periods with little mobility and poor air flow.
Earliest collection and storage of sperm after a spinal cord injury might therefore be enacted. All good reasons to engage in regular wheelchair sex. It is essential to obtain microbiological cultures of the seminal fluid and eradicate any infection prior to proceeding with an attempt at fertilization. For women after an initial absence of menstrual cycles fertility is rarely compromised. If the spinal cord lesion is complete above T10 labor may be painless. When unable to bear down effectively during the second stage of labor forceps are often used to assist in delivery.
Autonomic Dysreflexia during labor is a risk for mothers with a spinal cord injury at T6 and above, this can be prevented with an epidural anesthesia. Get the latest Flash Player to see this player. Please consider making a contribution to the production of this video at Sex Smart Films.
For significantly disabled wheelchair users such as high level spinal cord injury tetraplegics quadriplegics on ventilators living in structured environments, nursing homes, group homes and institutions, wheelchair sex and opportunities for sexual and gender expression may be limited. Institutional barriers to wheelchair sex and sexual relationships include cramped conditions, a lack of privacy, unwelcome intrusion by support staff, prohibited relationships with staff, prohibited sexual contact between residents and prohibited sexual relations between residents and visitors.
For wheelchair users with spinal cord injury this positive sexual representation not only promotes wheelchair sex. It strengthens sexual self-identification and heightens sexual self-esteem. It creates an avenue for non-disabled people to see the disabled in a more sexually attractive light. Paraplegics and quadriplegics are employed as sex workers in several fields.
Increasing numbers of women with paralysis from spinal cord injury and other physical disabilities are being employed in the phone sex industry. Some customers specifically request sexual surrogates qualified sex therapy educators who engage in sex. Some earn a living as wheelchair sex porn stars. Disability sex educators, with an actual disability, are highly sought after.
Wheelchair bound glamour models are increasingly seen in the fashion industry. The wheelchair becomes nothing more than a prop. The relationship between disability and the commercial sex industry has developed healthier approaches through increased education and recognition of sexuality of people with disabilities as an important issue.
With or without disability however gender imbalance will always exist, where women are seen as goods and men as the consumer or buyer of such goods. The global sex industry is worth an estimated billion US dollars per year spawning many illegal underground sub-cultures.
Human trafficking is the fastest growing criminal industry in the world, targeting vulnerable sections of populations including disabled people. Often considered unable to work, those with a disability are nearly always exploited for sex. Disabled women often enter into traditional prostitution as the lowest and cheapest commodity due to their extremely marginalized status. Each country has their own inherent problems concerning sexual issues, such as traditional customs and culture, access and support, education and advocacy, economy and research.
The problems facing the international sex industry are many and positive outcomes few. Social attitudes and physical barriers associated with decreased mobility as well as a dependency on others for care after a spinal cord injury often hinders sexual expression. It serves to prevent able-bodied people from accepting a person with spinal cord injury as a sexual partner. This attitude can also become internalized by the person with spinal cord injury.
They start to believe their dependency makes them undesirable wheelchair sex and life partners. Wheelchair sex barriers after spinal cord injury and the true sexual desires, prowess and functions of people with disabilities, are greatly compromised by mythical stigma and stereotypes. People with intellectual disabilities for example are often believed to be oversexed and dangerous or asexual and eternally childlike.
Other wheelchair users, especially those with a spinal cord injury are considered unable to parent, conceive, or adequately raise children. These false stereotypes further exclude people with disabilities from sexual activities. This has been highlighted by an increasingly vocal constituency of people with disabilities expressing frustration at the social barriers preventing full participation in life particularly in the taboo area of sexuality.
Emphasis has been placed on social re-integration of wheelchair users like those with spinal cord injury in recent times. Schemes and programs have been developed to open opportunities for wheelchair sex, independent living, education, employment, health, sport, transport and physical wheelchair access.
Many people meet sex partners and life partners at college, their workplace and social events, but for wheelchair users they must first be able to participate and express their sexuality. Only then can they be seen as sexually able and possibly sexually attractive. Today, there is a greater awareness that sexuality is equally important to men and women with disabilities and that sexuality is an integral part of the development and experience of all people.
Much of what we know about the social barriers that people with disabilities face in relation to their sexuality comes from the reports of people with disabilities themselves.
Disability activists have also played a strong role, campaigning for the sexual rights of people with disabilities, including the right to have sexual relationships, the right to be parents, and the right to access sexual services. Often resented by the able-bodied, seen as ugly and repulsive, the disabled body is hidden or presented as something to be avoided, corrected, and pitied.
Historically, there has been a fear that people with disabilities will produce offspring with disabilities, and a belief that this is something that should be avoided. Despite the history of exclusion, physical limitations, isolation and abuse, it is important to note that for other people with disabilities, their sexual rights are being achieved and they are leading satisfying sexual lives.
Both paraplegics and quadriplegics living with spinal cord injury are enjoying relationships of all kinds, having children, marrying other disabled people and people who do not have a disability.
People with disabilities are enjoying active wheelchair sex lives, dating, loving, touching, kissing, hugging, sucking, fingering, and fucking. Some are accessing the sex industry, visiting sex workers, working as sex workers, consuming pornography, and in some instances, making pornography. People paralyzed by spinal cord injury are learning and teaching about sex, as sex educators, counselors, and researchers.
They are finding and sharing useful ways to enjoy wheelchair sex, express their sexuality, increase sexual pleasure and bolster sexual self esteem. Prioritizing the sexual rights of people with disabilities, as well as dissolving stereotypes, taboos and silences will ensure that these success stories become the norm for most people with disabilities in years to come. I feel like to help them then to do bad to them,because they are human like us.
Is God who make them like this and make any one like this. We have to respect them as we respect our self. Just wanted to introduce myself and say thanks to all of you! I am a gardener at our City park during the summer and I am an Aide at our school during the school year and I work at a CD and cards store in the cards.
I am really sick of being the only disabled gay man that I know of. You know of a place where I can meet some gay disabled men by any chance? I was just wondering if there is any way I could actually have an orgasm? My boyfriend has spina bifida and the same goes for him? I must say, I really appreciate the article and everyone on here. Not much you can do about that Becca. Some mothers tear during childbirth and may require a stitch or two but that is very different to cosmetic surgery in your case.
A stitch is not something we recommend to tighten vaginas and most doctors will agree with us. Maybe he needs a bigger penis. There are many non-invasive gadgets that claim to increase penis size. Hi becca my name its ana im a para T2 complete i had a car accident 3 yrs ago..
I have a T10 i just wanted to know if it possible i still can ejaculate i still gbut i geet hard by thought touch n feel but i get frustrated cause i do not cum can i is there a way wat can i do to help. Hi Jason, yes it is fairly likely you will still be able to ejaculate. Please read the article for tips on how you may achieve that. In the article Viagra and a vibrator was mentioned. Are there any other drugs that might keep him hard? Also, is there a special vibrator to use?
We have tried some but the ones we used only kept him hard while directly touching the head. Is there anything special to do to keep him in the mood? This prevents the blood from draining out so quickly. It is used when the nerves or blood vessels in the penis do not work normally. It is a substance that is found in your body. It helps keep blood vessels open and your blood flowing.
It can cause severe side effects so please consult your doctor before use. Me and my boyfriend have been dating a year and a half, and in February he was shot, it damaged his spinal cord and deflated his right lung.
The doctor said he still has a chance of walking again with lots of physical therapy. I love him so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is a T9 incomplete injury, is there still a chance he can produce children, and even walk again? He uses Cialis and it works great, but are there any other treatments for his ED? Something other than the injection, he hates needles.. Cialis is usually the last resort — only prescribed when pumps, viagra, etc are not successful — but there are inflatable inserts as explained in the article.
As for fathering children I suggest you consult his doctor or a few fertility clinics sooner rather than later. My husband was in a motorbike accident on the 24th Nov , TL1 complete. He has had spinal fusion operation and was sent home on the 24th December with outpatient physio only we were told because he can transfer from bed to wheelchair without much assistance that he doesnt need to go to rehab.
He is unable to get an erection through touch or visualisation. What can we try? Also what are thoughts on colostomy bags? We are 1 year married dating for 8 years with an 18 month old son, im a student and we are not on any sort of medical aid so the next rehab option would be private and costs half a million rand i was quoted this amount for 3 months rehab which is outright unaffordable. Any advice is appreciated as this is new and hard on us all…thanks in advance. I feel those of us in relationships know it goes far far beyond something so simplistic: If you read more comments on the site, and the article above, you will read of many experiences that do not involve sex solely in a chair.
Hi my name is Scott I have complete L4toL10 injury almost two years now have feeling in thighs and few other spots on my legs I have a colostomy and have to catheter. I have no feeling in my buttocks or my penis. Does anybody think Viagra would work or not and if it did would I be able to ejaculate. I think intimate relationships are about so much more than just the act of penetration. Throw the mindset out the window that traditional able bodied sex is the only way to go and experiment with each other to see what gives each of you pleasure.
And, it can be so much better than it was before. Communicate with each other openly and honestly and try some new romantic things. Remember, the largest sex organ in the body is your brain so remind her of visual stimulation, oils, romance, etc. I think both of you will be surprised how great things are.
Those are all of the qualities that I think makes anyone sexy no matter if they are able bodied not. As an extremely sexual woman who has had it every which way and everywhere and anywhere I could I was excited to try the new found territory, and there has been no disappointment.
In the last year I have been able to explore my secret sexual desires with him and he is more than willing which makes it all the better. I do think it takes a special person to be intimate with a person in a chair or someone with a disability and I am more than happy to be that person. It says a lot about myself and my character as well. I wanted to share this for the people out there who are insecure about their sexual integrity or sex life in general. You just need to find the right person.
I have been interested in it for so long since my school years. The educational program in Russia includes learning foreign languages. As a rule they are English, German and French. I started learning English and now I'm extremely happy that I made the right choice. I absolutely love the English language. After finishing school I continued learning the language at the University. I had been learning English for 18 years. I want to know it perfectly. Maybe you'll like my accent Russian I mean I have.
It's possible there are some mistakes in the text but I'm sure you won't offend. Another hobby I have is knitting. It's the deal of my life. My mum taught me how to knit in my childhood and now I knit clothes sweaters, jackets and waistcoats for my friends and myself. I adore knitting and I like wearing woolen clothes. Almost all warm clothes I have got I've knitted myself. I don't know if knitting is popular in your country as for Russia it's really fashionable and up to date.
What else can I tell you about my life? I haven't got children, I've never been married. Of course I had relations with men I even thought that they were serious and would last long and come to marriage but I was mistaken. Now I have got nothing but bad and painful memories. Mark, how can you describe your character?
As for me I've never tried to describe the traits of my character but nevertheless I'll try. I live with a smile on my face and a hope in my heart. I consider myself an optimist. And maybe it helped me be the first to write. I've seen and experienced a lot in my life. During 32 years I'd been overcome a lot of difficulties. You know I don't need much in my life to be happy. All I need is a real man who will be my friend, my love and support forever.
And it happened so that now I'm looking for him in such a way. I don't think it's wrong. And what do you think of it? I live honestly and it brings me satisfaction and pleasure.
I know happiness doesn't need a lot. Maybe the most essential thing I lack now is love. A human being can't be happy without love. I mean not only love between a man and woman but also love to the family. For instance, I haven't got a family and it really oppresses and depresses me. Mark, do you often meet your relatives? I really miss the time when I had a lot of relatives. I want to return it. Are you looking for a soul mate or just a friend? What are you looking for in the soul mate, Mark, if it is so?
I hope to hear from you very soon. Your letter went to my spam folder so I did not see it immediately. I was interested why. To me have recommended to place you in a "favorite list". Maybe my letters to you too get in spam? Place me in a "favorite list". October 8, Hi Mark!
Today definitely good day - day of dialogue with my friend Mark! How it is wonderful to receive something that you really wait. And in a case with me it of course your letter! Today was a difficult day, and dialogue with you removes my physical weariness.
The quantity of patients has considerably increased for some last years. Here many people lives in the remote areas, impassable districts. They lives even without an electricity in absolutely unsuitable conditions for a life. And it certainly becomes the reason of a plenty of diseases. Sometimes I want our president to live here instead of the Kremlin, simply to understand what life is. Maybe in this case all wars would end much faster?
Forgive me that I tell you about our problems, simply I write all what in my head. If you do not like to read about it - simply tell me. I have written you in my first letter when my birthday.
But if you do not remember let me remind you. Thank you for your picture. It is a fine picture. You are a strong and handsome man. I very much like this picture. It is wonderful, when a man combines force and charm. It happens so seldom. Forgive me for my frank words. But I always speak what I think. I think there is nothing bad in it. You have pleasant appearance and it is wonderful. By the way Mark I have asked you about your family in my last letter because it really interestingly for me, as all my family has passed away.
My parents were military, mom was the military doctor, father was the military officer and we hadn't constant house because they very often got the notice about new place of service, in places with the military conflict.
Therefore my childhood was not very cheerful. We lived in temporary habitation outside of zone of conflict, therefore sometimes I did not see my parents some weeks, and I was at home absolutely alone, being an eight-year girl. Therefore since the early childhood I am able to cook, sew, knit and do any heavy physical work.
Now I absolutely agree that it's correctly said that: Don't you agree Mark? When father got new place of service near to Kazakhstan, I have gone to study in the good medical university in Tomsk.
I lived in student's hotel on distance of kilometers from my parents. But we had meeting some times in the year. Later my parents got new place of service and have left to live in the Davydovka.
And I saw my parents only once in one year. At university for the first time in my life I have found a true friend it is Nailya who is my best and reliable friend till now. We have together passed through a hard time when have been compelled to study and work in the evening and at night,- just to support itself. After ending of university I was to get direction for intern in Tomsk area, but I have received the letter from mom where she informed that daddy has been killed in military collision.
There is nothing worse than to find out about death of the parent from the letter. After that I began to live with mom because I was afraid to leave her lone at such difficult period. One and a half year ago my mom has passed away. I will not describe all pain and suffering which I had at that time. Simply I want to tell that all ups and downs, all pleasures and misfortunes that were in my life have led me to who I am now.
The destiny was not tender with me, but I am grateful to my destiny for my parents, I am grateful to my destiny for my friend Nailya, because it really a gift of destiny. And I hope Mark you are not angry with me that I talk to you about it? It is my life and it is a part of me. And how you would learn me more if I would not tell you it, really?
And I as well would be glad to learn more about you. Your life is very interesting to me. Are you grateful to destiny for anything in your life Mark? How often you become tired? Do you like the nature, rivers and lakes, woods and mountains? Are you religious person Mark? I will wait for your letter so please write me soon! Sincerely and with the best regards. Your friend I hope Nadezhda. October 10, Hi, Mark! Today I had so much work that I was afraid that I wouldn't have time to get your letter.
And I have to say that it is distressed me. But now I have found free time and very glad. Thank you for your kind letter. My last letter was sad. That's why today I will try not to write about sad things. How there were your day? Now I am smiling and have a good mood, because today we found out that in two days into Voronezh will be coming big exhibition of rare breeds of cats and dogs. It is great news because at this exhibition there will be the best representatives of rare breeds, collected from all of Russia.
Everybody wants to visit this exhibition because it will last only for several days. I like animals very much. Can you imagine that I never was in a zoo? It is my dream. Have you ever been in zoo?
We have here several small menageries, but I dream to see giraffes and rhinoceroses, hippopotamuses and bears. I never saw tigers and elephants in real life. Have you ever seen a tiger or a bear?
The biggest animal I saw in my life is a horse. I like horses very much and think that these are the most beautiful animals in the planet. As matter of fact I have always dreamt to have some pets. Unfortunately a horse hardly would be placed in my home smile.
I dreamt to have cat or dog. But when I think that a little puppy will wait for me home, alone, I feel pity. That's why I don't have pets. What else to tell about myself? I always very much get tired on work. And though my work is not heavy physical work but like any doctor, I am in constant concentration and an internal moral strenuousness, because the health of people depends on my attention.
I am always waiting weekends with impatience. Weekends are the only one possibility for me to get a rest and to get new forces. Weekends I spend variously. Sometimes I want simply to rest in my home. I live alone in my home. I like my home - small and cozy. On weekends I always clean home properly.
And though I always try to keep clean my home, all the same, always in the weekends I find what work to make in an home. But when I want really to relax I listen to music or read books.
I like to read books especially historical novels about ancient Russia or other countries. I like to spend time with my female friends. I have two best lady friends. When we meet, the air is filling with laughter. We like to walk and to talk; we go to cinema and walk in the park. If you want I can tell you about my friends.
I like very much to spend time in nature in the open air. I like the sea, but should tell that I have been there very seldom. I like woods, mountains, lakes and the rivers more. Camping in Russia is very popular. I adore to go to the forest and to live in a tent though now I have such opportunity seldom. I like to look at night illumination and cars headlights. I like very much to look at the stars.
In August our sky abound with stars. It is incredible beautifully. I like to cook on the fire. There is nothing more wonderful than when the fragrances of forest, rivers and smoke mix together in the air. I am romantic undoubtedly. I really like to cook. I know that I do it well, because I started cooking from childhood. My mother taught me many things including cooking.
May be she was right. We have In Russia many national dishes, such as an okroshka, uha, borsch, golubtsy, pelmeni. I am not sure if you know such dishes. These are Russian national dishes. Also I like Italian food pizza, spaghetti , I like sea foods.
Once I even tried sushi. What dishes do you prefer Mark? Looking back at your life would you like to change something? I have to finish.
I hope my letter was not stodgy and uninteresting. I will wait for your letter with impatience. I wish you peace and kindness. October 11, Hi, my dear friend Mark! Day by day I feel more need in getting your letter. My mood has become better again when I have got your letter.
I should say that when I have good mood I hear gratitude from my patients much more often smile. Therefore, now the health of a Russian people depend on your letters smile again. Thank you for new picture. I already spoke, that you are a handsome man. Your new picture confirms my words.
You really very charming and attractive a man and to look at you is very pleasantly. In Russian medicine is social, but there are private clinics. I work in a public hospital. You asked what is my taste in music. I like various types of music. I like to listen to classical music. I like Dire Straits. I like very much Sting. But my favorite is Pink Floyd. They are not similar to anybody. It is a great band. I like Queen, Madonna and many others. In your country there are a lot of great musicians.
I like Russian musicians but likely you do not know them. Have you ever heard of Gorky Park? They are Russians who sang in America.
I would like to find a true soul mate. A person that can be trusted. A person that laughs at your jokes. A person who loves you unconditionally no matter what. A person that wants to see you everyday. A person that will kiss or hold you for no particular reason but just because you are you. A person that enjoys your company.
A person that you can tell your secrets to and you know they will be safe with that person. A person that that doesn't criticize but encourages. Mark, to me that is what a soul mate is. You asked me about a possible coming to your country. I would not start such a relations if I were not sure in it. If my heart will prompt me that I should go to your country, I will necessarily go.
Of course all is possible. And if I will feel that time for meeting have come, I will do everything to organize this meeting. To my regret I could not visit an exhibition. Last days was a lot of work and I could not go to Voronezh. But it not death smile. By the way, when I came to work today, my mood was bad, because my friend Nailya fell ill and now she is in the hospital. The saddest thing is that she has birthday today. She is 30 years old today.
Unfortunately she will spend her birthday in the hospital. But I have already talked with a doctor and I will be allowed to spend evening in her chamber. In the evening I will bake a cake, I will buy balloons and go to the hospital. I hope very much that she will have good mood on her birthday.
She is my best friend. By the way, she works with me in the clinic. Nailya the doctor the otolaryngologist in our clinic. As a matter of fact I have only two real friends - Nailya and Natalya.
Nailya is a lady who is in the hospital. Natalya is our friend already for several years. Nailya and I are like sisters. We like to take a walk. Usually we walk in the park.
But also we like to spend time in Nailya vegetable garden. She lives in an old wooden house. I don't know if you have seen such houses. It is the houses which were built before the Second World War, in the fortieth years. These are very old houses which don't have bath and running water. So people have to take water outside in the well.
In modern world such conditions seem very terrible, but this is really so. We like to spend time in Nailya vegetable garden. There she grows the potato, tomatoes and cucumbers not to buy them in the market. Every winter Nailya, Natalya and I together build a big Snowman in her vegetable garden, using a big snow spheres.
We put carrot instead of nose, and potatoes instead of eyes. It is very funny. All neighbor's children came to see it. By the way, if we want to fool about, we put carrots not only instead of a nose but also below Since that time we do it every year. It is a tradition for us. We poured it with water to cover with ice. So it could stand for the whole winter. Almost all people in our village know each other.
Nailya says that she wants to live in a big city. I don't know where is better. Big city is a big traffic, fast rhythm of life, garlands of fires, lightning's of shop windows, high buildings, fountains, cinemas, parks, attractions, theatres. It is wonderful, of course I like it.
But our village is a fresh air, a lot of trees and birds, silent and comfortable, cozy, quiet place, no hubris and vanity inherent for big cities. We have a lot of small and large lakes and rivers. The places are very beautiful. If there was no criminality, it would be paradise. But alas, the criminal in small cities, as well as in the big cities is an integral part our life. Unfortunately the crime in Russia is on a very high level.
But I don't want to tell about sad things. Several times, Nailya, Natalya and I went to the festival of bard song. This is a place on the coast of the river where a lot of people come from all country.
At night the coast is covered with thousand fires lights. The scene is a huge raft having the form of a guitar and established right on water and everybody who wants to sing together with famous bard singers, goes on this raft and starts to sing. And all thousands people become silent and listen to this singer even if he is absolutely unknown. It is the unique festival. I have to finish my letter. I don't want but I have to do it. Today when I will come to Nailya we will talk about you.
She likes to ask about you and I like to tell her. I wanted to ask you what makes you happy Mark? What was the best gift from a woman you got? Sincerely your, and with best wishes. I hope you can play the enclosed file. In the next letter inform me. October 16, Hi Mark! At once I want to tell that Nailya sends you her greetings. I was in hospital and we have spent her birthday very well. I wanted to bake a small cake, but it has turned out on the contrary.
The cake was huge. It weighed two kg. When I have brought it to hospital, we have divided this into set of pieces; and all doctors and some patients that were in this small branch are drank tea and ate a pie together with us and everyone was glad and happy. I have brought a lot of balloons. She was very glad and grateful to me. The day is wonderful today and the weather is good. The sun is shining all the day.
To add to all this I have got your letter and my happiness doesn't have limits. So what about your weather? May be today after work I will take a walk. I like to walk along the street and to breathe the fresh air, especially when the weather is warm.
As a matter of fact I don't want to go home. At home is very boringly and lonesomely. Sometimes I don't notice it, but sometimes when I come home with good mood, I want to talk very much, to share thoughts with anybody, to have fun.
But my home is empty and I have to be in full loneliness. And my good mood disappears. I simply sit down into the armchair and look at the window. And when the silence deafens me, when I hear movement of my eyelashes, at that moment the hoop of loneliness compresses my heart. I can listen to music or read a book. I can go to my friends. But in some moment I understand that I just deceive myself.
In fact I want a beloved person to be near me, with whom I could spend evenings, to meet morning, to talk about yesterday and to dream about tomorrow day. I want to walk and to feel a strong man arm holds me. I don't want to cook meals only for myself. I want somebody to appreciate it. But I think enough about it.
You have such a nice soothing quality to your voice, that I could listen to it many times over. When I listen to your recording and gaze at your photos, I can almost feel like we are in the same room, sitting in armchairs or at the table or on the couch talking of the day ahead, or that has passed and we are catching up with each others' day. I began writing the letter in the morning. Today was heavy working day.
My working day comes to an end soon. But, one employee has brought here her small son, and she has asked me to look after him because she should leave urgently for some hours. The boy knows me very well. He already some times remained with me and spent time. As our clinic works till His mom works in our clinic only a few months and she has no friends or relatives here. That's why I already some times helped her.
Her son is amusing boy. What do you dream about? He answered that he dreams to become a grownup because grownups don't have problems with teeth. It was so funny. I often recollect childhood. I always dreamed to become a grown up as soon as possible. As every child I completely believed that grownups don't have problems at all. I dreamt in the childhood and I dream now.
Of course, the world of dreams is an illusive world. We live in a real life, so we should not sink into the world of dreams and phantasies for a long time. When a dream becomes obsession, it can bring only pain and disappointment. Our dreams come true not always. It happens that you use all energy, all aspiration to make dream come true. But irrespective of how strenuously you try, not everything in this life depend on us. When the dream for a long time does not come true, dream ceases to be the star, that was for you a lighthouse in the ocean of the life.
But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live without dreams and hopes. When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense. Our dreams force us to think, analyze, choose and come to a conclusion. The Faith and Hope are eternal satellites of our lifes.
And regardless of what waits you at the end, we remember joy of the victories better, than disappointment and pain of the defeats.
I'm surprised that I write all this to you. I have never had a man, with whom I felt conveniently in sharing my thoughts. But now I have found you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my frankness. If I said something superfluous forgive me please. Can I ask some small questions? Do you like to sleep, or get up early in the morning?
Do you like to kiss? I adore when Nailya or Natalya come to my home. What clothes do you like to see in a lady? October 17, Hi, Mark. I am very glad that you have written me. Thank you very much. You cannot imagine how much I wait for messages from you! Your letters became a part of my days! Now in my thoughts always only one question - "When I will get an opportunity to read your letter and to write my?
And when I hear a favorite phrase: Today is a good day and to clinic I have come already with good mood. Today at night there was a little snowfall. In the morning I have come out to the street to jog and I have seen that all footpaths and roads completely are filled with snow. But I like such a weather. I like any weather. Many people do not notice beauty that surrounded them.
In my soul such a weather wakens the big energy and fine mood. I like all seasons. Yellow leaves, gold trees. It is so wonderful to walk in the park and to listen to how leaves rustle under feet; to see the clouds that float in the sky, to see birds departing to the warm lands.
And at night the sky begins to cry. The rain knocks on windows and roofs. A lightning illuminates for shares of second the empty streets. How it would be wonderful in such a weather to appear with beloved in a small room with a warm fireplace; weak light and singing of a cricket.
How you think Mark? What can be finer than romantic evening in rainy day? I at all do not know what season I like more. Russian winter is delightful. The all world around is white. And falls of snow bewitches, especially in the evening. When you see flows of light from a window, and on a background of black sky small snowflakes are similar to stars.
And if for a long time you look at the sky, then it seems that you are flying through these wonderful snowflakes towards something unknown. The world as though is born again. Air is filled with freshness. All troubles and failures thaws together with snow. The sounds of the baby birds chirping for the first time. Summer is a fine mood, the desire to learn the world, to have a rest and enjoy life.
I feel that I rambling on. By the way, I jog for many years. I really have good health because I always try to support my figure and I jog every morning. I try to spend time in the air as much as possible. I have no car and I use transport extremely seldom. I get contrast shower - alternation of a stream of cold and hot water. I since the childhood lived in conditions of cold winter and damp autumn.
Such climate is toughening health very well. I do not smoke. I really love a healthy way of life. And I am proud of it. I love sports very much. Though should admit that I never played golf, football and basketball, never boxed.
But I could surprise you, if I had opportunity to compete with you in beach volleyball. By the way, when I studied at university, I visited section of swimming and have reached good results. Some times I participated in swim competitions. Swimming - till now my favorite kind of sports. Mark, I send my pictures. I hope you will like it.
I for a long time thought and have decided to send a picture - only for you So, this picture really only for you! I hope you understand With the best regards and with thoughts of you. October 19, Hi my dear friend, Mark!!!!
I am very glad that you have written. You have again raised my mood and have placed a happy smile into my face. By the way Mark, today I went to job being absolutely confident that your letter waits for me. Earlier I always went with thought that you probably yet have not written, but today for the first time I went with thought that your letter already waits for me. I went along the street with the smile on my face. I could not hide my smile. People that went past of me looked back and looked at me.
Here already many employees know that I have found such a wonderful friend, and nobody is surprised that my friend lives in other country. Everybody only are glad. Nobody here is surprised if the woman searches for not Russian man.
I think the cultural distinction is a wonderful thing. I don't understand Russian men and their culture of dialogue with woman. They are not able to appreciate woman's feelings, her fidelity, love. They do not appreciate sincerity and aspiration of woman to do for a man absolutely everything. The only thing she need - the warmth and caress, which she wants to get from a man.
It is the problem of Russian men. Russian lady does everything for a man but doesn't get anything from him. All what she needs is at least a couple of tender words and gentle touching of his arms. Really it is so difficult? Really it is difficult to present for your lady a romantic evening and a supper with candles? In Russia as a rule such gift give lady to man, but not man to lady.
You say that I am beautiful. In Russia I am not considered like a beautiful lady. I am usual and simple woman with usual appearance. Russian men, practically all of them, usually show disrespect to ladies. They consider that woman only have to work, to cook, to wash cloths and entertain a man when he wants. For Russian man to offend a woman is a usual thing. I like to cook and to wash cloths but sometimes I would like to receive simple caress, love and attention.
I don't want to offend all men. Of course there are good men in Russia, but there are few of them. Men very often say dirty words not normative lexicon when they talk with lady and consider that there is nothing bad in it. I want to tell you about my ex-boyfriend. I feel that you will understand me. We had good time together. But he liked to drink. When he got drunk he became an absolutely other person.
He talked with me by bad and dirty words. The time passed and his love to alcohol became a habit. He became another person - rude and evil, even when did not drink. He has found the big interest in beating of me. He began to beat me very often and cruelly. He often knocked me in my face by fist and even kicked me by foot when I already was on a floor.
And every time when I being on a floor looked in to his eyes, and with tears in my eyes asked him - WHY? But the next day he smiled and talked with me as if nothing had happened.
In public he was very delicate, polite. All people considered that he is a true gentleman. But when he found oneself at home, everything was on the contrary. I very much was afraid of him and I have left him. My soul was wounded very much. After this I couldn't make myself get acquainted with another man. I don't trust Russian men. I am afraid to give my love, but back to get roughness instead of love.
I have told to you about it because I want you to know that I open to you my soul. And I want you to know about my ex-relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I feel that I can tell to you about this because I feel that you have very kind heart. By the way, today Nailya leaves hospital! And though she will spend some more days at home, all the same it is much better than in hospital. If you have disagreements with lady, can you apply roughness? Are you able to transform quarrel into the peace, pleasure and a smile?
I hope my letter have not offended you in any way. With all my kindness and tenderness. October 22, Hi, Mark! How is your mood? I hope that up to my letter your mood was fine, but after my letter your mood became superfine smile Likely I am too self-confident. But I am happy if I receive your letter. I so waited for this minute,- when I can write to you. Our friendship became the important part of my life, and I hope that in your life as well.
Sometimes I understand that the thread that connects me with you now is not most strong. But I do not want this thread to be torn. Right now I sit and I smile simply because I am glad that again I can to share with you my thoughts. Sometimes I so want you to see my smile during the similar moment because I think it is the most sincere smile! But sometimes my smile leaves me because I know that now the only thing that connects us is our thoughts, that we send to each other,- thoughts, transformed into a letters that are not able to show all depth of thoughts.
Tomorrow difficult day waits for me. Probably tomorrow I will work outside of clinic. We call it - "the ride working day". Nailya also goes with us. She already is completely healthy and begins work. It is difficult day. At this day several doctors and specialists of our clinic are going on the special medical bus to various remote small settlements, small villages in a thicket of the forest. These are poor villages which are located far away from the big cities and settlements.
In these villages there are no doctors and clinics and people cannot visit clinic at any moment. In such villages there is always a lot of people who need the doctor but cannot reach clinic by self.
Often it is a people who are not able to live without help of other people, - basically are small children or old and weak feeble people. We go in these villages on the bus with all necessary equipment. People in these villages love us and wait more than anything. But it is really the hard work if to take into account that we are going there at 6 am, and we come back sometimes even after 10 pm! But I will wait your letter because our friendship gives force to me, and our dialogue is a rest for my soul!
My dear friend Mark! I have to go! Sincerely and with thoughts about you. October 25, Hi my dear Mark!
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