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I am so excited to share a guest post with you all today. Finding and understanding those differences are the first step to having and maintaining healthy, passionate, and incredibly fulfilling sex life.
Make sense so far? You made it through! I know, I know, us guys are a little weird. Most of all, your husband is longing to be accepted by you in this area. He wants to know that even though you may not understand his seemingly constant desire for you, you accept it as part of who he is, and are not only willing , but love helping him in the way that only his amazing, beautiful wife can. If you as a wife can make it a priority to do some of this stuff on even a semi-regular basis, your husband will be willing to conquer the world for you, and will be more than willing to be there for you emotionally, be strangely communicative, and you will feel closer to him than you would ever believe.
I wanted you to know I thought your list was very deep and made the most sense. I read this to be better for him, because he does ask for love making he says sex is different than making love often and on more that one occasion I do have to say no. It has great tips and I will try the surprising him idea. I know he will enjoy it. Thank you so much!!!!!!! I am a woman. I have 4 children. I love my husband and love it when we are intimate!!! I agree with every thing you said. Great article about how to lift up our men whom we love!
He does so much for me, the least I can do is try to understand the guy!!! He is very protective of my modesty. He also does not think I am the most gorgeous woman in the world.
He thinks I am beautiful and he loves me greatly, but we both know there are handsomer people out there than us. I am more adventurous than he is. Jumping in the shower with him is rather utilitarian rather than sexy. I need sex to reconnect as much as he does. I feel deeply personally rejected when he says no. I have never refused him. Do all women like it?
Same goes with these 11 tips. Yes, I have come to realize that I am unlike most wives and my husband is unlike most husbands. I even started resenting it. One thing this is helping with is communicating with my husband.
I showed him the article and got a better idea of his likes and dislikes. Yes, he said he would not like it if I left this house commando. Use the articles as communication tools.
I think taighbeag just hit a major issue, perhaps primarily with religious people. If an unmarried teen went out with no underwear, especially one in a religious family, she would be in big trouble if her dad found out. Why, because deciding not to wear underwear is often more sexually motivated than not. But not wearing underwear has nothing to do with modesty! Sure a woman would need to be extra careful getting in or out of cars, sitting, etc…but most modest women do this anyway so nobody gets to peek at their undies.
Same with the whole being naked thing. Nobody is around to see except me! We all need to do our daughters and their future husbands a favor by helping them understand true modesty vs.
Letting your boyfriend look down your shirt is not modest. Letting your husband look down it and maybe even suprising him with no bra or a see-through is sexy, perfectly right, and fully moral. Doing a strip-tease dance at a club is not modest. Do it privately for your husband does not make you a whore or any other bad word.
It makes you a caring wife who will make your husband crazy for you! Finally, I think a tip 12 would be in order. Husbands should be meeting their wives needs too. If a woman follows these type of tips to meet their husbands sexual needs, he will have a much easier time meeting your non-sexual needs! Try denying his sexual needs for any length of time, and even the most dedicated man is going to find meeting your needs extrodinarly difficult.
I read and try to learn from same all the time. I love this article!! I think one thing to add to your awesome article is the man should be dominant most of the time. Also a little wine helps on a stressful day. Everything on this list applies to many wives and not everything on this list applies to all men.
I think you need to understand that this list includes examples to show how the advice in practice, not necessarily the only way that it can be done. The idea that the writer was trying to convey is that wives need to stop feeling so self conscious about their bodies during sexual play. The advice just points you in the right direction to do it. And lastly, your husband is allowed to say no just as much as you are. I suggest you take a look at your priorities, instead of feeling hurt, try and feel understanding.
And you, too, are allowed to say no. I sometimes feel like doing something else, I tell my husband no and explain why and he is understanding of it and thanks me for being honest. And if he tells me no and explains, I too understand. There has to be that level of understanding and communication and honesty in a relationship. You think you are talking to me-a wife who is not of the norm too-a wife who gets rejected and is willing to please more than the husband would want to receive.
I never say no because I know it will be a minute till we get to have it unless I ask for it. Because thats by def. I am not hypocrite. I am not mad this article was not for me. I understand wholly it is for the average man.
I just happen to have not your avg. When we do go at it-it is pretty wild for him as well for me. I just wished we had few more sessions in between. And not just him. I totally agree with you. All the things listed above are more in my mind and he doesnt reciprocate positively for it.
He doesnt like sitting on the couch and having good moments. He tries to get an erection out of his own thoughts even before I come to the bedroom, its like a routine for him no matter how much I try to make it interesting. I always prepare bubble bath for us together but he never appreciates it though he feels good. I feel disgusting at times, he never kisses me nor gives a hug due to which I feel depressed. Discussing with him is impossible because he doesnt understand nor give a ear to it.
My husband is exactly the same. He is more conservative than I am and my sex drive is higher than his. The longer you spend studying your husband and learning what makes them tick the better your marriage will be. I especially like the way you worded 2!
You have it exactly correct that men think of sexual intimacy as a way to recharge themselves and their marriage! Hope it helps some wives understand us crazy husbands…lol! I agree with it all. This does describe the vast majority of husbands, although I certainly do hear from wives who have a higher desire than their husbands or whose husbands criticize their appearance.
I had to laugh a bit with 6. He still likes it, though. Lol about number 6! Thanks for reading, I was hoping to get your opinion on it! Thanks for the article. I agree with some of what she said. Perhaps husbands would have more success in and out the bedroom if they were better at it.
I think most of us want sex almost as much as men do.
Where is the articles to teach him now to love me? Completely and utterly unfair that woman have to give and give to men, without any sort of garuntee that they will give back. Summerbird, I agree that sometimes it is completely and utterly unfair that we have to give and give to men, without any sort of guarantee they will give back, but that is only when we are looking at it through our eyes.
See, God has a plan for us each to serve our spouse and put their needs above our own and find our fulfillment in Him not our spouse. It takes a lot of work and attitude adjustments daily to make sure my attitude is right, that I am serving my husband because I love him, not because I want something back. There is no guarantee my husband will give back to me, but if I selflessly give to him each day, with nothing expected and pray for his heart to change, it will in time.
This is a great list but what happens when the roles are reversed? My husband hardly ever wants sex. Thank you so much for sharing. What an awesome post. I know there are women out there hurting, as their men might not be there where they love them to be intimately. I for this, it helps me understand my hubby even more. Fragile beings , just lie us. You would think human lol.
Pleasing God by pleasing your hubby. My husband and I might have sex twice a month if that. He never comes on to me and when I try to get him to talk to me about things he likes or wants he never will. Tiffany I have the same problem with my husband. When and if you get any answers let me know. Just wanted you to know you are not alone. Im in tbe same boat as both of you are. My husband stopped wanting me as soon as we signed the marriage license. In the past 3 years we have made love 4 times.
I have no clue wwhatto do. I try to keep my weight under check, keep myself nice for him and I look after him. At last we are empty nesters! He rarely makes the first move, I and when I initiate intimacy, he is not interested. We do have a fun and playful everyday relationship, but when it comes to the bedroom… Well, I am now becoming very frustrated, feeling unloved and wanting… I lay awake next to him at night and either quietly cry myself to sleep or leave to sleep in the guest room because I want him so much!
I am now at my wits end and need to understand what is going on here, as I cannot take it any more. Now I have nowhere else to turn. What do I do! I do every single thing you have listed and MORE!
I just do not understand why my husband still looks at porn. I have also suggested watching it together while having sex thinking that would help. I enjoy sex very much. I take care of myself. What am I doing wrong? I understand being curious.. So I started going for morning sex and that was no.
I asked what he meant by that.. So he stops and takes a second and then continues. Am I doing something wrong? I want to please him.. Should I just leave him alone? Heck, maybe he is intimated by me and feels insecure? There are several medical conditions that I can think of that could cause what he is going through. If he is viewing it a lot and pleasuring himself a lot then he could cause an erectile dysfunction just by doing that too much. Porn in small doses will help with arousal, but too much and it will negatively affect arousal.
It is bad bad bad! And I am not saying this to be uptight and conservative, It is a fact that too much of a good thing is bad. Porm will eventually lead him to being bored with you. Educate yourself on how porn addiction will destroy your sex life!!! As a porn addict myself, I can relate to your husband. Not being able to last and that tired feeling come from masturbating too much. I am on the road to recovery and these things are getting lots better for me.
I have to dissagree with the other comments about the porn. Much better to fantisize then look to other women to cheat with. You girls need to understand, we love your bodies. Women of all types are hot. Some hotter than others. All the great art of the past has nudes because we like to look at nudes. The only difference is now we have the internet and its way better.
Nothing more it just is. You are complicating it to much. I loved the post! Thank you for the tips, coming from a man is great. To know what other Husbands are thinking. I always want sex with my husband , but sometimes he tells me that he just wants to relax.
Should we have sex everyday or every other day to keep things spiced up? I am little confused. WOW, I cant believe how dead on this is. Came right out of my head. If all women understood this, there would be a significant lower divorce rate.
I desire my girlfriend more then anything, and yet I get rejected all the time. For some reason my husband has control over sex and am the one that wonders all this things and when would it be the right time to ask and weirdest part is that I do ask. I found this interesting. My husband found this ans sent me the link as a way to tell me how he feels in the bedroom. I have to say that if the woman is always worried about her husbands wishes in bed then when is he worrying about hers.
Thank you and Thank you. All I can say is enjoy sex while you can. On the other hand I am frustrated beyond belief and hoping some day soon we can reconnect! This has definitely given me a new perspective on how my hubby acts. The little things that he is always doing, like pinching my rear, kissing my neck or telling me I look really cute when I wear a black skirt to work, I usually just brush off… Yes, I think they are nice gestures and I love it when he does them but I never really understood why he does them!
I have been starting to feel like all my husband cares about is himself. Now I can see what I thought as him thinking of himself, is him really thinking about me.
Follow up post should be on how to find confidence in yourself sexually again! My husband sent this to me to read and I did, but things talked about here are not really our problem. I read your whole post 2 times. Yet I have just the opposite problem. If y lou have any advise I would lovw to hear it. What am I doing or not doing right?.
I want my husband to want me like he use to and even more but I just have no idea of what to say or do at this point. As a 38 year old husband who works part time and takes care of all 3 of our kids 6, 4 and 2 …. Could I have sex with my wife 6 times a week…. Do I expect that out of her…. We have three kids, we have tiring schedules…. I really like what you guys are up too.
Such clever work and coverage! Very nice article, well done! But what can I do, if he is amazing and hot and the sex is so unbelievable I want it all the time.
I feel like I just irritate him most of the time. If I touch him he rolls his eyes. He is never interested in me. He usually communicates well, but not with this. While this post is great for those who are wanting to know this. I feel like he does everything to avoid this moment and you may choose to say it is my fault but at the end of the day I have tried so many different things etc.
We can talk about anything else and we are fine. I was reading through most of these posts, and especially starting with the reply by. Taighbeag and I must say that these are pretty much the responses I would expect. First off These 10 things are guide lines and meant to get you to think about sex with your husband because it is important. It is so important that I have been close to separation several times with my wive over the fact that she is just not interested in it at all.
Listen if you want to stay married to your spouse do not ignore these because it is as important to your husband as communication is to you. This article is designed to get you thinking and being creative, to pull one thing out of the article and focus on that alone shows that you may need to think very seriously about this. I also see that many affairs and broken marriages could have been avoided if more attention were paid to these 10 things.
Look ladies, your husband is not going to beg for sex and if you reject him too many times he will shut down with you and likely move on to someone else. If you have a higher sex than your husband then he needs to have his testosterone checked or you need to hire a private investigator.
It is very very rare that a woman has a higher drive that a man because of testosterone wonder drug Low testosterone is a serious medical condition. Either I am actually a man or all of these things are not only male thinking patterns. Every single one of those sounds like me and I am a woman. I think this list could easily be reversed for husbands to know about their wives just because women do have a desire for sex sometimes higher then their husbands.
I emailed this to her: I have seen examples of this many ties in my marriage. I might have thought you discussed this with him personally for some entries on the list. I know how much my husband loves it when I initiate and engage him in a sensual night of pleasure. It does change everything and makes us more connected in every way. I, for one, have heard numbers 1 — 11 many times from my husband…and I am guilty of everything you have said that a wife does to discourage or avoid sex.
I love my husband dearly. Sex has been our major point of contention for the past 13 years. Boy, did you hit the nail on the head. Reading this made me encouraged and discouraged.
I HAVE on vacation been very daring and adventurous, but that is few and far between the regular nights of nothingness. Thank you for sharing and waking me up. I guess my question would be how does a wife do all of those things when the frequency is every day sometimes times a day?!? I like sex with my partner all the time in as many adventurous ways possible. Nothing turns me off more than watching a guy get turned on by another woman. All around, great article.
The steriotype that men need sex is sick to me. This is not at all, in any way limited to a man. Sex is important in a relationship. Both are happy and content! I think this is what Paul meant when he wrote: The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
By the way, verse 5 makes it clear that frequent sex in the marriage relationship is a means of grace through which wives and husbands overcome sexual temptation. Dear missionhusband, Ok, so how do I start this. After reading this post, I felt like you must have been reading my mind.
I can not tell you how times I have said most of what you wrote only to have my beautiful wife roll her eyes at me. I have read many posts like this in the past, but never one that hit the mark so well. My wife after reading this, said that I have been telling her this for years and I think for the first time believe the both of us.
You have giving us a much needed lift and we are looking at our future with a new found hope…………. This is generally true for most men I believe.. The message to me was that my husband needs sex a lot, wants me to initiate, to spice it up and be his porn star, to like it and be turned on and to be his student and learn everything that turns him on and if I do all those things.. What was not addressed was that I am happy to fulfill all his physical needs if I feel that my emotional needs are being met..
I agree with you on the fact that men need to treat their wives well, but this post was aimed at wives. I think this is a great read for the women and very insightful! My husband never wants any of these things. Oh, this was an excellent list! Thankfully, my husband is a FANTASTIC communicator, and I already knew this list to be true for him, however, it helps tremendously to read it in black and white; restarts those rusty wheels in my head.
That really puts a stumbling block to my sexuality. Do any other women feel that way? I want to disagree with one of the points in the article: There are men, a minority, who find overweight women attractive.
Like it or not, men are aroused by visual images. Show a man a picture of a fat woman and you get nothing. Show him a picture of a woman with a body that is toned and in shape, and you get arousal. When have you heard of a man looking back after an overweight woman passed by—maybe to stare, but not because he is attracted?
Women really hate to hear this because they want to believe the myth that their husbands will want to have sex with them regardless of how they look. That is categorically not true. Unless something has changed, the last time I checked, it was necessary to have an erection in order for a man to have sex.
For the most part, men are not aroused by overweight women and, without arousal, there is no erection, and, hence, no sex. If there are men out there who can convince themselves that they are really not seeing what they are seeing and become aroused anyway, I have not met them and I am not one.
Women, particularly wives, want to imagine that their husband is more concerned with them being his friend, soul mate, partner, etc. That spending time together, cuddling, etc.
Sex is a very critical ingredient od a marriage and without it, for whatever reason, it is a powder keg. I am not suggesting that there is some kind of a double standard. There may be women who would say the same thing and that is just as fair.
I have heard it suggested that it is the images men see in pornography that has led to this situation. What is shown in pornography is a reaction to a market demand. The images follow the desire, not the other way around.
Are they trying to attract men to overweight women? They are simply following the money. So, anyone reading this, particularly women, can call it shallow. I assure you it is not. It is the simple truth. If you walked past or met your husband today, would he give you a second look? If the honest answer to that is no, then something is wrong. Love everything about this post.
I have to run out the door.. I am so glad he shared this and I love this info.. That is so crass.. And I am wondering what he is thinking all day now at work?
Does he think about it? Does he remember me? I like this post, but everything about it is so obvious. Have you seen some husbands and wives out there? At the very least they do look. They might even think about them at times while your having sex. It was probably a great night of sex for both partners. I actually got teary eyed from reading this because it hit so close to home.
In the recent years, my hubby and I have not had an adventurous or frequent sex life because we have focused our time and energy on our children, school, work and home…, and then each other. We make up for it by exchanging material gifts. I have noticed my husbands confidence as a man has greatly decreased, no matter how much I tell him I love him and appreciate him! I would do anything to bring his self esteem back to where it used to be when he could literally conquer the world!!!
Now, I understand and am so grateful for this blog! I love my husband dearly and I think he IS the sexiest, most amazing man in this world! Now, I have an idea as to how to make him feel like he is that person to me again! She tells me it turns her on seeing me thoroughly enjoying what she does and even wanting to do more.
She tells me how many orgasms she had and how hot I am that just bursts out my self esteem. I realize this is an old post but I just came across it accidentally and got a little excited to read through it for a little advice but sadly, very little of this applies to us. I only wish this is how my husband thought and felt. Feeling even more discouraged now. Thnku fr this msg…bt in my case its different.. Please help me and suggest me that what should be my attitude towards this kind of behavior or ignorance of my husband???
In response to 7: It makes it feel so… blah! I enjoyed reading your guest post. In my relationship your post makes me feel like the guy. When we first got together physically, his sexual appetite was huge. He would pull me in the bedroom at any time we were alone.
I would wake him up when I was in the mood and he would wake me up. It was non stop flirting with each other neverm passing by without a kiss.
About three months ago that all stopped. Have you looked into a pornography problem. Its the elephant in many role reversal situations. Know this with out question you are loved and adored by your creator. You are desired and loved by an adoring God and through him all things are possible. Praying for you Angie. I think you are spot on with this. I wish my wife and I had a normal marriage. It was numerous times a weekend when we were dating. Whenever I bring it up and try to talk about it, she accuses me of just wanting her as a sex toy and not as a wife.
The sad part is , we were never like this before. Is there any women on this comment board who thinks they are a man after reading this. I kind of want to copy and paste this into a word document, switch the gender roles, and print it out for my husband! My husband is always the one rejecting me. I feel the same exact way!! My husband always rejects me no matter what I do! He use to be this touchy flirty guy and as soon as I got pregnant it all changed.
I hope it gets better for you! Ooooh lord god bless smart people and why we are the way we are as men. Would you mind if I share your blog with my facebook group? Please let me know. I appreciated this read.
I fell into it because my husband is away and I wanted to flirt with him. The problem is this and its piercing. My husband had a porn problem for some time. I can walk in front of him naked and I might as well be Mother Theresa. Its gotten better but my heart aches to be wanted and desired in this way. We have arguments about it often and I feel as if Im broken and one of a million other women. I initiate love making and he is just a robot.
He could go weeks with out even mentioning it. Its gotten better thank God for that. Just hard to read things like this. I cried out to God asking why he allowed me to stumble upon this. Pray for me, my thoughts wander to times when Other men desired me.
I have a beautiful family and I know thats a lie. Very very nice article. I hope my comment is not too long winded. On those who need to send it this article to their wives, I suggest putting it on a scheduler for monthly reminder.
Been there, done that. My wife is attractive and sexual at times. I do not think she does it with intent to punish me or tease me, but it is just not as important to her. When a woman flirts in a sexually explicit way , a man think she says: Tip for younger ones: I have learnt not to expect anything guaranteed from her and my best chances are just as she comes off her period. Sometimes I feel like such a pervert for wanting sex.
I just stopped asking, it just makes me feel worse for being like a drooling doggy who want to hump her all the time. We recently tried sex-pills from adult shop and it was great, except she had 3 orgasms, sooo satisfied and lovable, smuggles up and falls asleep, me still at a heart-rate of bpm with a volcano waiting to burst.
At times like that I just feel like a worthless blob that must melt into the earth. Especially if it goes on for days of teasing, then finally great sex, but no release for me. I love my wife, I would never leave her, we do luckily still have occasional great sex, but I can understand that some woman struggle to get their husbands into bed.
At some stage, to keep yourself from going crazy and stop feeling like a perv, you start to convince yourself that sex is not necessary. Sort of the opposit reaction to what I was hoping for lol. After reading this, it is like I am seeing him through a brand new pair of eyes.
I read the article twice to make sure I absorbed it all. It all makes sense now. After 17 years of marriage, I finally get it. Thank you so so so much. Well, my first wife was always telling me go to bed or get it over with quickly. After weeks I would get tired of the same answer. Then it was me asking to let me rub on her. Actually it was because I had not had sex for months with her engaged in it. Skipped it most nights.
There was no other times except when I once forced her on a light summer night in Sweden. I found a better wife to have sex with then ten years ago.
Now she is living with me part time and not with her boy friend. Yet the same problem remains. This is actual fact. The woman that wrote that is sick is all wrong herself. Some women may have very strong sex drive, but I doubt very many do. This fact that I just want to see my now significant other naked is so very true. Although she did let out a sound of complaint when I did that the other day. I guess I have to just wait until she feels like it.
I want her to read all of your points here about what are my needs. It is not just something I want. It is something I need. Sex twice a month is not going to be enough for me and I am One problem has developed after I turned 50 and I noticed more at 51 then 52 and I must now resort to touch by myself or her to get an erection.
My libido is just as strong as ever. My testosterone level is normal. I have now learned there are exercises for a man to do by himself to improve his sex organ. I have also learned that a pill is not a good treatment and that painless injections to my organ at the base of the penis done by myself can likely return me to the way I was all this time from my boyhood until age 50 with spontaneous erections from thoughts or sight of nudity.
I think the key for me is to help my once wife to orgasm and at least once a week I am guessing. I know how to feel good having sex and it is nice her favorite position is mine too.
Thanks for your very good information. Like tomorrow night for example when she said is the soonest she will be ready after her long period is over with. She did tell me once that I am better than her boyfriend. I get along with both of my ex-wives. I like the valuable info you provide in your articles.
I will bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. Best of luck for the next! I thoroughly enjoyed this post. I have been with my husband for 17 years and lately have been feeling a little disconnected sexually. After reading your post I have realized that I may have the power to change what is lacking in our sex life. I struggle with insecurities and I think the 2 of us together have difficulty being open about what each of us need in the bedroom as I am approaching 40 I am coping with idea of getting older and no longer being desirable to my husband.
I rarely initiate sex due to possibly being rejected. When asking my spouse about this he claims he has been turned down by me so many times that he gets tired of asking. So I have read this blog and I am going to try to improve by following your tips. I hope this works! This is a testimony that I will tell to every one to hear. I have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until I met a post where this man DR Ekpiku have helped someone and I decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me I just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, I saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why I am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self.
Is this really how women act towards their husbands? We have sex every night married 20yrs and counting. We have 3 kids, so things slowed down when they were small meaning x a week , but I feel I need it as much as he does.
I agree with u!! This is how it should be!!! And same thing when on the cycle I go down as well… But my question would be with it being so regular how do u get the chance to do the initiating?
This is a great post a must read for all wives no matter how many years you have been married. Obvious info that make sense and put very well into words. And this would be wonderful advice for other newlyweds like myself! Thanks for the post. Last week experience was the happiest moment of my life,i and my wife were separated for close to 3 years and ever since she left me i have always find things difficult for my self,taking care of the kids and especially my business which was going down gradually because of lack of concentration.
I have always thought of getting her back but she refused because really i caused her disappearance i cheated on her often and when she could not take it she took for a divorce and after which i brought one of my girlfriend in looking forward to get married to her but not less than few weeks i noticed her ugly character and definitely such can not make a good wife i had to stay unmarried because i realized that after my wife left i could not find any woman as committed and humble as she wife was.
To cut my story short i have gone wide in search for a powerful spell caster and i was informed by some of my friends that i should contact Priest Ajigar that he is very powerful and he can solve my problem i took his email from my him,i search his email and name on Google that same day to my surprise i saw so many persons testimonies saying that Priest Ajigar helped them to bring back their ex and also restored their broken marriages i contacted Priest Ajigar and he told me all i need to know and he ask me to give him 4 days that my wife is going to call me on phone i thought it was a joke and to my greatest surprise she really did call me, we kept on talking for like two weeks after which she came back home and said she is giving me the last chance that if she should stay with me as his wife again i should promise not to cheat on her again.
I am so happy today to let the whole world know that Priest Ajigar is spell works and to all who are in search of help should contact his email: I find this list very stereotypical; that the husband is the one always wanting sex and trying to convince his wife to do it.
How incredibly selfish…and sounds almost like rape. Part of what makes everything so good is the mutual enthusiasm; not one person giving and the other taking. I will have sex with a smile on my face every day of the week if he wants to, thank you very much.
Comparing making love to your husband to rape is so insensitive and ignorant. Have someone hold a knife to your throat, hit you, tear your clothes off, then penetrate you… then make that comment. Lets be clear, husbands can rape their wives. Rape is not you sucking it up with a smile to please your husband.
Pushing him away, trying to separate yourself from him. Being persistant is not rape. Please be very careful with how you use that word. Sometimes we need to be selfless and at least offer a helping hand. Really good article but none of it really seemed to apply to my situation. So what more can I do? I need help to figure this out.
I read this and then a couple weeks later my husband saw this website and decided to read it Later he asked me if I had read this. Thank you now I understand my husband better. Reading this was truly an eye opener and helped me get a better idea of what goes on in my husbands head.
Hi there, wow what a post. Can more men be as communicative as you are? Thanks so much, Dr. Thank you for this. Still waiting for a list from the wives perspective! I love your response, but good luck waiting for that list…. Sure there are people who look like they were built in a scientists lab, but my husband is the most attractive man alive to me. I can appreciate their attractiveness, but I only feel that desire when looking at him.
Although I may not always believe it because of my personal insecurities I can imagine it is much the same for him. I truly mean it. It would actually be hurtful if my sincerity is being doubted or dismissed.. She is his and she swore to obey him. End of story women if you get married No is not an option if you married with swearing to obey him. It is our job to be ready and not to want to be satisfied. What a wounderful article.
I am going to try this advice and see where it takes us! I found this information really useful, as my husband tells me this stuff most of the time but it is useful to hear it explained a different way. I have a lot lower sex drive than my husband and feel embarrassed a lot of the time I find it hard to relax and enjoy sex to the full and it is causing problems in our relationship, we have been married for 20 years and have had our ups and downs.
I have been in a relationship for a little over a year and became engaged in Aug this year. It seems to me he would rather watch porn than interact sexualy with me. But I always initiate it. I give oral sex frequently.
I dress up, I try to be spontaneous but get turned down alot. Porn addiction definitely does that. It can be very hard to be turned on and satisfied by a real woman when your porn-fueled fantasies go EXACTLY the way that you hope they do — at least in your mind.
What porn supplies is a fake solution to the desire for perfect gratification, and that means getting further away from reality. Any man would reassure you that, if you really do attend to him as much as you say you do, you are the perfect wife. Not porn-star perfect no need for that , but perfect by real-wife standards. But to the porn addict you could be just not porn-perfect, and there are no other shades of acceptability. And by the way, the introduction of so many props and so forth, if done too much, can lead to much the same thing.
One thing that is in your favor. Most men get involved in porn because they are looking for receptivity. You have to get your husband off porn if possible. It will take some time, and once he does get away from it, it will take even more time for him to remember what sex is supposed to really be like. I enjoyed reading this article and everything is dead on! Lets just say that my wife is Any help from you is greatly appreciated.
Best advice ever, just this morning i deside to wear a skirt and no pantys my husband was so suprice and he loved it thanks for ur advice we were like lovers today.
I was selfishly looking for something on how my husband can turn me on more when I stumbled across this gem of an article. This is so good ladies! This guy hit everything right on the button. I probably wouldnt be divorced if my ex had read this. I disagree with your assumptions that these 11 things apply mostly to men. Thank you for posting this.
My husband said he wanted me to be more sexual. I had no clue what that met, and this post gave me an idea of what he met. Thank you so very much. This is very helpful. Never wants to touch me or be touched by me? Even before we got married? My husband might be interested in sex once a year…. These are the things I want from my wife…. I am thankful to the author for so nice article!!!
I have been married almost 20 years to my wonderful husband and best friend. We have had our ups and downs in all departments not just in the bedroom, just like any other couple, but we are still here. It is always good to see intimacy from a males perspective.
And once, I know only once, we had a liaison in a park after a romantic meal out one evening and it was oh, 10 plus years ago now, but you know he still talks about it — privately of course. I also do wonder like so many others before me how my husband can see me as sexy and gorgeous after 4 children and stomach surgery, with the baby fat, stretch marks and now scars.
But you know he still tells me and I still roll my eyes and cannot believe him, for this I am sorry. I need to believe him, so thank you for the insight here. I must save this blog and try some of your suggestions, life will be so much more spicier and fun. My husband hates everything that you mentioned. What you described sounds much more like me. I just realized how truly lucky I am and that I need to be more conscience of my response to him in this situation. You should add this to your mission marriage Facebook.
Sex makes me feel closer to her, more emotional about her. I was 3 , being the one always asking. These are the things i fantasize about, the things that i fell are missing from my marriage. The things that tempt me to look at other women. This is very significant to me at this point of our marriage — i want to feel physically desirable in my marriage too. I think your list as a whole, nails it on how to do it. You are the man! What happens when the husband is fine having sex every 30 days or so and wife wants it everyday…could go twice a day.
When attempts are made, rejection. You feel like there is something wrong with you, right? Then when you ask about it hubby says its nothing that you are doing wrong.
Hard to feel sexy or want to try harder than you already do to get sex from hubby. So you keep it inside but then there builds up a lot of resentment in other areas Bc you see you try to keep him happy in every way you know how cooking, cleaning, listening, taking care of family, etc anything that you know makes him happy but still no sex.
Frustrating, believe me, you are not alone! Im sure my husband would also agree! Lol I try my best to keep him happy and after 8 years of marriage I can honestly say things are still as good as ever or even better than they were when we first got married.
Not just when it comes to sex but also communicating. Especially because he tries his best to make me happy as well. Anyway, I think whatever works for you and your partner! I am very bad about not initiating intercourse with my husband. I figure if he wants it, he will let me know. I just get so caught up in being a mom I am so tired when we wants to have seX.
Which I never do. I understand that I in a way i caused this with my attitude towards seX. But I never ever compare him to past lovers. I love him and I want to get that wildness back when we first got together. But there are times I feel like he objectifies me and has in a way since the beginning. He could walk in the door and undress me and try to have sex without even kissing me, and not understand I want to be romanced.
I am sorry if this is too much. He is a very proud man and I have no one to talk to or turn to for Advice. While looking at this list, it sounds more like me than him. I have a higher desire for sex than he does. So are exactly how I feel with him. Then I feel like something is wrong with me. So, yes if you are holding out on your spouse whether you are the wife or husband, please figure out a compromise.
The Lord realized that this is something very special and necessary in the marriage so the bible tells you not to deny this from your spouse. If the only person your spouse wants and fantacizes about is you, why hold back? Same thing I was wondering. I have just been praying for wisdom on this in regards to my husband.
The other day he was ready for the first time in over 2 months and I wanted to but my body would not react. I just want you to know that you are not alone. I will be praying for you and your husband too. I will be praying for myself and you as well. I have considered divorce over this very frustrating part of our marriage.
I love my husband like no other. We work very well together in most areas of our relationship but intimately, we are just about dead. I feel that I have tried everything and what I may have not tried, I am affraid of failing due to ALL of the rejection. I found most of this stuff complete BS…. I agree with 8 but half of this is not true and the other half is half arsed.
A week had passed before she informed me of my oversight. That said, that incident taught me to pay closer attention to her hairstyles, makeup, and clothing.
You need to become a student of your wife. Learn all you can about her. When she changes something, be sure to mention it. Your wife will appreciate the effort. When you were dating your wife, you were a better flirt that Don Juan.
Now is the time to reclaim your flirting mojo. Do things to make your wife laugh. Gently caress her face. Surprise her with small gifts.
Make her feel the butterflies in her stomach all over again. Men are visual creatures, and we are stimulated by what we see. Let your wife catch you staring at her. Also, keep in mind that eye contact is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Grab your wife, pull her close to you, and give her a passionate kiss. Make her, and everyone around you, see how much you desire her. Men often want to fix problems, but sometimes our wives just want us to listen. Make her feel like she is the most important person on the planet at that moment.
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