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Meanwhile, Tom Cruise turns into a whale. Beautiful, troubled Bess Toper is visited every day by grief-stricken husband Leonard. But both men harbour dark secrets about Bess — and the her electro-shock therapy unexpectedly transforms her into an avenging angel. Torontonian Marie and French — Canadian Pierre are having a Honeymoon spat based on their conflicting views of Canada. Meanwhile, Konyate and Masoja the local guides are having their own conflict of interest based on their interpretations of financial law.

This entire musical ended up making perfect sense. Captain Hamilton is a lady. Her father is the admiral, which is how she got the job. She is in love with Murgatroyd, who is a man. Schoolgirl Gemma gets lost in the Natural History Museum during a school trip, much to the dismay of Mr Forsythe, but she is taken under the care of gift-shop owner Laurie Leftcold. And Clarissa sings the statue song. Lord Carstairs is the most disliked man in the village. So when he is found dead on the village green, brilliant Belgian detective Inspector Jape finds himself enmeshed in a fiendishly complex snare of intrigue and revenge.

In Olde Istanbul, a loose re-telling of the Hamlet story. Kate and Natalie come along for the ride — but one of them is hiding a secret about their purity.

Greek wrestlers Barriokolus and Tickolino vie for the honour of victory — but one is selfish and one is selfless. Empress Varius presides over their competition until an unexpected twist sends Barriokolus to Ancient Londinium and a meeting with pottery fanatic Ian Glenn no relation. The Princess of this pickle kingdom leaves with her lower-status heart-throb Jeremy Jenkins to join the free society of the French courgettes — Les Legumes Superieure.

But her departure from the restrictive society of the pickle jar sparks a revolution. The vinegar workers rise up and dethrone the king, forcing him to work cleaning the bottom of the jar. Will the Princess return to her people and save her father from slavery? But if she does, will she even want to undo the changes towards a more egalitarian society?

Will Pope Michael ever be able to control his drinking? His lust for power? In short, will he ever know when to stop? Which kind of makes things worse. An ark is built. The lighthouse on Flech Isle is a magical, atmospheric place.

Only Derek the Falcon can get to the bottom of the ensuing gender-bending farce. George Michael distant relation has set up a rehab clinic in an Ice Hotel in the Arctic. Susan leFevre, famous opera singer and alcoholic has gone there to dry out.

Love blooms between George and Susan, but can he admit to the one million-pound wager? The hotel floor show shifts between fire and ice. The dancing penguins wonder why they are at the wrong pole.

Can the doomed Joey find redemption and can the East Bank and West Bank find a way to forgive each other? Can snowmen really fly?

Featuring choreographic assistance from Donovan Workun. Widow Mrs Simpkins works with him and the two, bound together by grief, fall in love, but neither confesses to it. Then the secrets begin to be unveiled. Why does George go to the exotic dance hall The Windmill Rooms? What happened 20 years earlier to Miss Simpkins?

Why are dancers Dorine and Clarice so close to them both? And what if Pinkerton has the biggest secret of all? Even Las Vegas has a prison, but this one reminds its inmates what they have lost with rainbows and pussycats on its walls.

So when he is cursed with never having an heir until he can feel love, he is trapped between losing the respect of his warriors and comdemning Sparta to a bloody succession struggle.

Are they responsible for the deaths of all the popstars? And will George Harrison ever get his accent back? Brazil in was run as a banana republic, ruled over by a despotic leader with no thoughts except for his own luxury, the happiness of the wealthy and powerful and the entertainment of the occasional shipload of American sailors. The poor starve, except for those lucky few who are chosen to work at the high-class Crazy Nut brothel.

One young man, a highly skilled gigolo, is given the honour of the Golden Key — which means freedom, wealth and power. But instead of joining the elite, he seduces the president and tries to persuade him to bring equality to the country. But will the president find a heart before the threads of society snap and rebellion swamps them all? Seoul, , a busy marketplace. Linctus, daughter of a wealthy merchant, is given an unprecedented chance of freedom when her father allows her to choose her own husband.

But evil Fat Chang has other ideas. Ideas which involve sinister double dealings, dark schemes and the impersonation of blind people. Sherwood Forest, merry men, a brave but aging leader of a free and radical bunch of forest dwellers, his feckless son, the evil Sherriff of Nottingham, an absent King.

As it is, thinly disguised with different and hard-to-remember names, The Showstoppers created a fun-filled carnival family matinee musical filled with outlaws, arrows and arsing about. It started out as a serious story about family, courage and danger; and ended in a massive pantomime knees up.

PS Two of the Stopper offspring were in the audience. There will be an enquiry…. The tale of Mr Jim and Maggie as they try to keep their transatlantic love secret from the staff of The Golden Plaice. Will a joint Benidorm honeymoon sort things out? Will the Germans ever discover the tunnel dug from Colditz? And what;s with the post — apocalyptic Las Vegas scene changes?

Is that a message from God, or just a piece of fancy lighting…..? When she comes of age and has to choose which lego profession she goes into, what will her decision be? When he manages to change her feelings from friendship to love, does it constitute a great brain robbery and can the lovers get past the embarrassment of the morning after the night before?

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon As daughter of the Grand Vizier, and architect of the Palace restoration, Fatima is forbidden to consort with the American explorer she so clearly loves. Who will invoke the wrath of Babylon and will the great deity Babaganesh have anything to say?

Imran is one of the most dangerous residents of Alcatraz, but he also used to be a detective. When the warden is found murdered, he is called in to investigate. What lurks beneath the rock, and who can be trusted when all of your friends are criminals? At the Sandy Crack nudist colony, Sandy, her grandmother and her friend are enjoying the liberty of the famous beach.

Can she persuade him to loosen his dog-collar or will they all end up covered up? Medieval England, and King John clearly has an eye for one of his kitchen maids. But when our heroine is tricked into poisoning and killing the King, Britain itself stands to be won or lost on the joust. New York City, While on shore, sailor Ricky has the opportunity to win his girlfriend back from her relationship with a famous Broadway actor. As his two friends become embroiled in the plan they soon discover how complicated modern relationships can be.

Samantha, the human rights lawyer, and fisherman Gordon who has never caught a thing, are pulled into the pond. When all their new frog friends are threatened by the pike, will their good intentions help or hinder the natural order of things? The last of the Romanov dynasty have the opportunity to return from exile and bring the glory days of the Tsars back to Moscow. But with Rasputin still pulling the strings in Red Square who will prevail?

At the drugs testing centre at the Olympic stadium Dr Schneider is tempted to fudge some results for the American cycling team in order to impress old flame Jack, even though he is married to head of the Olympic committee, Marcia. But as the web grows ever more entangled, and murderous intentions rise, how will fair play turn things around?

An old fisherman is placed in a difficult predicament. Cory attends the local AA meetings in New York and has fallen for sweet Maria and passive aggressive and sometimes just aggressive Julia. When he persuades the entire group to fall off the wagon, he realises that his demons are in fact coming back to haunt him.

Who is the real addict? With Ethan on the run, the alligators are set free. And just as he saved them, they in turn will save him. Their long standing rivalry hides an old flame and the story explodes in layer upon layer of betrayal.

What matters more — his heart, or the family name? LA Scientologists Anthony and Jane want to ascend to level 5, but if they do they must give each other up. When the decision proves too much for Anthony, he loses Jane, the church and his dignity. Can L Ron Hubbard himself provide redemption? Can her old flame convince her that you can have it all? Doctor Christos and Doctor Pantopolis discover the love philtre of Aphrodite but their experiments go awry as the staff of the entire Mount-Olympus-based laboratory go on a Dionysian orgy as the gods look on in glee.

The mother superior sends her to the monastery of the naughty monk Monseigneur Montpelier to test her purity. But does she fail her test, or simply show her humanity? In the Guatanamo minimum security unisex prison, feared murderer Christine rules the roost and loves Franco.

Gravediggers Tracy and Jim are dealing with a glut of bodies from the poor side of town. Mayor Hargreaves and Councillor Alderton try to discover the source of the problem and in doing so awake the Undead, as tea ladies Joan and Beanie hide mysterious secrets.

But when she was their age, she had no friends apart from the sweets. Her shyness drives her to Candyland where she learns to be confident, but at what cost?

Pop group Stairs are visiting Jurassic Park. When the shutters are lifted and the velociraptors escape, there is carnage; can Jenny prove her maturity and save everyone? Who will get off the island? Just another average night in Essex. Sugar Hut yeah yeah!

When B-movie star Kiki Caparo comes to the mansion, his past with Mandy catches up with them both, as Heffner dies, and Caparo must take on the role of his life. The women of the harem are determined to follow him. With the dangers of the lamp and his own advisor Farouk turning against him, Kahn must choose between treasure and the long serving Fatima. Somewhat surprisingly, the beer turns out to be an extremely effective aphrodisiac, and John is rocketed to fame and fortune.

Madame Cholet tries to make her realise, but only brings down the wrath of Uncle Bulgaria, the slightly right wing leader of the pack. He remembers only too well that if wombles fall in love, they stop collecting litter. And where is Wally? Her father, Poseidon, condemns their love and demands an underwater duel.

Curmudgeon and Exeter watch helpless as they fight, but can one of their deaths really lead to salvation for the entire city? At the Henley branch of Tesco, Sheila has been promoted to the dairy counter, but her bitter ex Simon is there. When Doreen from the Indian counter is appalled to see them touching, she has no choice but to tell Mr Carter. But Mr Carter has massive expansion plans to turn the whole of Henley into one enormous drive through supermarket.

Can Simon persuade Sheila to come back and help them thwart his maniacal shceme? At the nearly finished Olympic stadium Steven is building the stands with his boss Esmerelda. But his ex-wife needs him to return to his first job, as a world class athelete. She uses their relationship to get him to compete in the triple jump, but his split focus leads to tragedy in the stands.

Janet Thorpe is the great hope of British tennis. Will she beat her old friend the beautiful Indian superstar Ramesh Pradesh — or will she let her bitter ex Tim Henman bring her down? Frank and Esme are falling in love in the largest anthill in Colorado.

Will Frank and Esme have to sacrifice themselves, or will they return to take their rightful place at the top of the anthill? Love blossoms between them, and everything seems perfect until Geoffrey indulges in an indiscreet moment in the Lime Grove with Princess Jemima. Can anyone be happy? Can love bridge the class divide? And who is this Sheik Rafiki? Two English sisters have been without male company since their father took over the governorship of an Indian province.

He is so modern that he allows her to ask him for his hand in marriage, which leads to a duel on the croquet lawn. When Samantha is caught in the crossfire, Charles must take her body to the temple to try and get her back. But can he give up modernism and believe in the gods of the past in order to save her? Xerxes is leading a mission to find a new home for the human race, but his love for Belinda threatens to put everyone in danger.

Landing on Cloud 9, he is confronted with his past. Can he control his emotions for long enough to save everyone? Empath Sensodon thinks not, but then she has never felt an emotion of her own until she spends an evening alone with robot Jim. The plane crashes on Jungle Isle. Can they put aside their hazy past and work together to get the plane flying again? As love flourishes in the jungle, someone must take responsibility and recognise whose fault it really is….

Since losing her voice and her mind, diva Josephine has been resident in a New York sanitorium, under the watchful eye of ex-guitarist, Dr Benson.

But with rival pharmaceutical companies vying for control of the pills that are hard to swallow, her sanity is further threatened. Will Dr Benson make her realise that love is not a placebo? Miranda always wins the knobbly knees competition at the Clacton on Sea Butlins, but is it because of her knees or because she has also won the heart of already-married Mr Cartwright?

When they run away together to set up Haven Holidays in Pimlico, his wife follows them and demands her share of the camp. But can Jockey Sam and the butler make her see that Billy Bunter, the ballusionist, is really the man for her? But her ideals of free love leave the Vatican unimpressed — and Sondheim heartbroken. In a fight between the devils and the angels, only Cardinal Rogers seems to see that the only way is up.

When it seems that Stanley has been growing the ganja, Mary can no longer trust him, but who is he really working for, and is the mysterious Jessica their landlady, their maid, or Carlo in disguise? Shoe fetishism meets nostalgic rock and roll on the border.

After spinning the Wheel of Jobs she becomes a camel herder. Can they finally admit their love and avert disaster — for when the camels leave, Oblimey will fall. In an Albanian female penitentiary Australian murderess Sonia is faced with an almost impossible choice to secure her pardon. When things take a turn for the worse, her friends Rudy and Agnia offer to take the blame. Will she stave off the ghosts of the past and secure her return to Bondi Beach?

When obsessively clean Dafydd Morgan fires Trevor and Roderick from the Asda cheese counter for crossing the cheese wire divide, he probably blows his chances with Michelle at the same time. Moira and Fingle are simply friends. When Moira agrees to give Fingle a chance at love if he can climb the cursed Big Loaf to find the thing up there with the big teeth, wandering eyes and worse hands, he and Peter set off to climb the peak, meeting a lost wombat on the way.

But the magic at the top of the hill swaps their bodies and minds and on their return confusion is rife and it seems that Fingle has lost his love for good. But can she see past his furry wombat body to the true man inside, or will his bitter mother and her magic well ruin everything? Old man Johnson is dead and mourning at his graveside are his wife Jacqueline, his son David and his adopted ward Cynthia.

Why would he not mourn the loss of the man who invented advertising? Can Thomas forgive his brother for using his ideas or will he forever be moulded like a piece of clay? Talulah works at the Waikiki Beach Bar with Dad and Gran, but when surfers Chuck and Dan arrive for the surf competition, she finally gets a chance to fulfill her dream of leaving the Big Island in the Sea.

When the volcano on Hawaii erupts, threatening her family, Talulah has to return. But will Chuck go with her? But is it too late for her to return to Bugsy, or has he decided that the muck at the bottom of the fridge is more appetising than the butter on the top shelf?

Lord Puff Puff has decided to take a holiday from the island of Utopia, leaving his nephew Tony in charge. But last time he did that, Tony fell in love with Charlotte and ruined everything.

Can he resist the pull of chocolate this time, or does love always lead to despair? On board The Traviata, Jim tries to dissuade Sam from pursuing Lady McMillan, not only because she is upper class, but she is married to a known gangster. Unfortunately, his love for her is mutual and a terrible sequence of events are set off, which lead to abandoning ship for the lifeboats with the gangster, his goons, and his niece Gertie.

But when Sam is killed, they all go back to the ship, and a bomb explodes. Or will the goons shake the snowglobe and see what really happened? Charles and John Wentworth continue the family tradition of sibling rivalry and betting on the Gold Cup. But when they gamble for the affections of stable owner Sandra and mucker out Rosie, the stakes prove too high.

Can they put aside their differences and mount Golden Ganesh for the ultimate prize? His attraction to fellow murderer Patsy leads to their escape, leaving Suz and Henry, already serving 25 years over the theft of a dime, to face the wrath of Warden Popeye Bueller. But why are Hoover and Eisenhower so determined to keep Big Al under lock and key? When tragedy strikes and one more star is sent to heaven, Paolo discovers who his real parents are, but what does the one eyed man in the boiler room know, and can Paolo live up to his potential?

At a luxury ski resort in France, Henri is trying to win the much sought after Toadstool Trophy. But will his love for Geraldine or his long standing rivalry with Philippe Crevasse prevent him from achieving his dream? But Matterhorn has allowed women, Sonia and Esmerelda on board, determined not to make the same mistakes as his father.

As they near the Southern Lights, passions and tensions get stronger and more destructive. A mutiny, a lost leg, a revelation and a family reunited for a short time, all lead Clive Matterhorn to his destiny. He soon catches the eye of Tiffany, a prim and proper right-wing Christian.

Lewis loves carefree, childlike Jemima — almost as much as he loves hand-crafting traditional wooden toys. Maybe, if he works hard enough, Lewis can make enough wooden reindeer by Christmas Day to turn it all around…. Over the road, Dundee works at the finest patisserie. But whose father is he really? And can love cross class lines? Captain Sampson is delighted to have his inspirational wife along with him as they sail around the world.

But can first officer Richardson and his band of loyal crewmates hide her descent into alcoholism? And will the Captain ever be readmitted into the Navy? The Cambridge Amateur Musicals Society are rehearsing for their musical production of Three Sisters, but Samantha dreams of moving to New York and seeing her name in lights on Broadway. Leo and Marv have shore leave and are at the Pink Pussycat Club to forget the two girls who broke their hearts in Arkansas.

When they all meet, sparks fly and it seems that Leo has forgotten all about Marlene when he falls for embittered burlesque dancer, Susu McSu, and Billy Sue seems to be over Marv as she agrees to marry club owner Lonesome Petrovsky.

But Leo soon finds out that Marlene has a new man in her life, and he looks the spitting image of Leo, just a little bit smaller…. When Professor Morrison dies, his daughter Mary thinks she can finally marry his assistant Arthur. But the professor has stiuplated that if she marries she will be disinherited. In love with both men, who will she choose?

After all a cat in a box is both dead and alive until the box is opened…. Marcel must save her from the guilllotine, but with Monique admitting to the murder, he must choose between his sister and his love. But what of Pierre? Acclaimed American artist Gregory Espadrille and his wife and muse, Mary, have gone to the Happy Valley Nudist Camp where they meet uptight British couple Gordon and Vanessa who challenge their commitment to an open relationship.

As the couples swap and experiment, Gaia Unclenched is unveiled to the world, but at what cost and with what critical response? On the SS Party, Cynthia the cleaner just wants to be noticed, while Deidre the singer just wants to be invisible. When a recently bereaved millionaire arrives on board, it seems that everyone might get their wish, but will the mystical island of Amazingazonia put a spanner in the works?

At the Arizona Space Museum, Danny is quite taken with Jane, but the incident in the Planetarium with her sister Bridget is keeping them apart. In the Lost and Found, Intelligentsia and The Professor try to keep the peace, but when Bridget turns up, sisterly competition leads to tragedy. As the Professor takes his opportunity to try out his robotic science, Danny must choose between the two sisters, and one of them will become a real star….

When she meets angels Gordon and Mary they come up with a plan to make Derek fall for her, but Hell proves too much of a temptation. Will devils rise or will angels fall? Michael and Sally have been married for 12 years, happily running the fish and chip shop on Brighton pier. But the arrival of a pyramid from the British Museum, and with it Jeremy, threatens their happy existence. New York City in , Jerry and Mr Barnavelt run a pole dancing studio which is ridding the 26th state of Brooklyn of crime.

But as the pole dancing studio is threatened, he gets a chance to prove himself, and become more than just a statistic. Old passions are re-ignited, but at what cost?

Leonard Moor has come back from London to the family home at Smothering Heights. Despite being warned by Gareth, his old friend and groundsman, about the women of the village wanting to get their claws into him, he throws a lavish party, which gets slightly out of hand.

Gang member Cristos is in love with pious God-fearing Juanita. It can only lead to bloodshed, and as the bodies pile up, Cristos must choose between the real way and the Rio way. Cynthia Forkspender and Eliot Brian Futtock have been talking on the phone, but when her parents find out they demand that the pair of them marry. Cynthia has to forgo her university place and Brian has to give up his dreams of a life on the stage.

But the Forkspenders are desperate for a scandal and plant a honey trap for Brian. He falls in and loses Cynthia. Can he win her back or will her sister get the man? And will Mrs Winthrop finally get Brian Butlin after 42 years of megaphone provision? Who is Sweeney Cod and are the voices Samuel hears good or bad? Mona has been promoted to nymph status which means she is one of worker ants who might become Queen.

But this puts her in direct conflict with the love of her life, Jeremy. As he foments revolution in the formic acid zone, Mona attends to the dying Queen, and becomes the ANTithesis of everything Jeremy stands for. Can their love survive? Can the colony survive? And what was the egg actually saying? Sociologist Dr Robert Johnson is forbidden to get involved with any of the convicts in the colony, but on the long sea crossing he has fallen for convicted murderer of 12 men, Martha McCoy.

Determined to prove her innocence he unwittingly places her in danger when he steals a boat and crews it with her brother and psychotic ex-boyfriend. Love is like a crow. Four explorers go in search of the lost Glamazon tribe, and their missing mentor Old Man Parker.

Will they escape the clutches of the tall dainty footed tribe in time to find love? As Jeffery is exiled the truth behind the Civil War emerges and the Maypole is threatened.

When she falls in love with Richard, his emotions are uncaged and the alpha male emerges. But PGP and Calendula hanker for the days of fine whiskey and debauchery. So, with the help of the Deputy Sheriff, they lure Jessie May back to her old ways; after all once a lush, always a lush. Michael and Lemia are in Hell for crimes of passion.

Mr Mephistopheles offers them a reprieve if they prevent Clare and Paul from making the same mistake. But by stopping them killing addled war veteran George, Michael and Lemia find themselves back where they started. Only God can save them now. Ted and Lucy work for a New York insurance company under squash addict Peter.

Their dreams of getting a great apartment and having a family lead Ted to sell an overpriced, dodgy health insurance package to elderly Myrtle. When she dies, he is guilt ridden, but her potty mouth gives him the perfect get-out clause. But at what personal cost? In a service station on junction 7 of the M6, Chloe and Penny run a Welcome Break, frequented by Eddie and Jessop, who go out of their way to see them.

But so welcoming are the girls, they are fired. Will their new venture in Dover be a success? And what of Barry and the cats? The true story of how Stonehenge was moved from Glastonbury to Salisbury Plain. When Calista is chosen to marry tribal leader Fortis, her betrothed Cadoc is as angry as the gods themselves. Stags, beavers, and the salute of the sun — but what will the rules of their new society be? But what of her love for Dai, the Distance Man?

Everyone in the club tries to save him, with the help of some leftover tricks from Spandex the Brave. Thomas Silverhammer, the tallest of the dwarves, knows something happened to his father and goes to the forbidden mine in search of the truth.

But the truth is not what he expected and may mean that he has to become a Gravelgrinder…. Zeus leaves Mount Olympus to his sons Castor the warrior and Liam the poet, with the instruction not to dally in human affairs. At a Detroit carwash, Jim gets lucky with rich and classy Lady Charlene. But her giant husband, Mr Charlene, is enraged and punishes everyone by closing the carwash. Will Marv and Trish escape adult entertainment in time to turn things around? And can Lady Charlene prove to Mr Charlene that his unhappiness is nothing to do with her?

In an enchanted forest during the Irish famine, Seamus and Mary must call upon the spirits of the tree to travel through time to But who was born under a harvest moon and how many times can a man be turned down? At an asylum for shell-shocked WWI soldiers and nurses, Patient 13, Madeleine, is being treated by Dr Wilkinson to get over the loss of her brother Henry. Should she, or by seeing him in her mind, will she once again see him in life? When Joseph finds out, he gets his revenge.

Mrs Miniver runs the sweet shop at Dragon Castle, but is called upon to confront the great old dragon itself — as the wizards of the castle vie for power. A mutiny occurs on an Irish cruise ship, where all plans are made on the basketball court. Will love save the day, or will they all be sunk? The fractious Button sisters run a Guernsey dairy farm but have to decide whether to resist the pressures of modernisation.

With the help of the lovelorn Francis and the spirit of old farmer Button, will eldest sister Miriam be able to save the farm, her sisters and their heritage? Will they get back in time to save the hospital, and will Dr Ostrovsky be released by his penguin chorus? On the pirate oil rig The Mary-Lou, the crew will face all dangers but will not accept a woman on board. Three dead jazz-obsessed sisters haunt their old home, soon to be inhabited by their father Lafayette and Daniel, his solicitor.

Can their love transcend the ectoplasmic intervention on the astral plane or will the vengeful Cooly-bean get revenge on the man who murdered them all? When his DNA experiments to make dinosaurs peaceful towards humans fail, Montana and the other park inhabitants are left in terrible danger. The prince of Bumbleland really wants to travel beyond, but his father warns him that out there lurk wasps.

The King must choose between giving the wasps all the honey in Bumbleland or losing his only son forever. But when the wasps come to Bumbleland to collect their ransom, secrets are revealed that explain why the Wasp Warlock is so angry and why the prince is the only bee who can sting more than once…. But after an ill-placed firework in Pudding Lane things look bad for London — the only escape is a topiary maze.

As they float through space, taking a frozen Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama in the SSS Ulysses, leaving behind the broken planet Earth to find new life elsewhere, his torrid affair threatens the safety of the ship. Hruthgar has been chosen to be the new King of Glass-gow, but he must choose a Queen to spend his year with before he is sent out to sea on a burning boat.

A year in power and the village is ruined, his wife is dead, and he stands on a boat, ready to be burnt. But the hammer of Thor and the rock in the sea come into play — will Hruthgar and Kandar burn brightly at last? With Ethel getting drunk with her make-up artist and Tornado taking advice from his dojo master, Tempest of the Storm, it seems that their budding romance is doomed.

But if the authoritarian commissioner Camille can find love with Yung Tao, surely anyone can…. But when the Baron turns it into a abattoir in a strange attempt to impress Francoise, old rivalries and memories of collaboration during WWII are stirred up.

But can the love of Francoise and Pierre convince him to plant grapes once more? Griselda and David, and their three offspring, have gone to the Latitude Festival, despite their crumbling marriage. Three Australians are waiting to see their hero, Adam Ant.

Melinda has a thing for older men and after a chance meeting with David in the poetry forest accompanied by a strange performance poet, it seems love is blossoming. After all, ridicule is nothing to be scared of. Colditz, and the Captain and Daphne have been interned for 4 years. But with the help of the slightly loony Spotty, Browning and an arrogant American with a Harley Davidson made out of loo rolls, they escape to Holland.

But Spotty, pining for home, has turned traitor and sold them out to the Germans. Spotty sacrifices herself, but too late and they all end up back in Colditz. But can their spirit be broken, or will they make one last bid for freedom, and a cockney knees up back in the good old East End? There were bound to be sparks when Dr Cartwright who loves science and Midwife Fortesque who loves nature met.

In trying to help the Willises finally have a child after 7 years of waiting, scientific advances compete with nature and the strength of the mother-child bond. But love and hate are separated by a thin line, and the sparks soon become sparks of romance….

But local twins Nkela and Bobo have been sent into the crater by Mama in order for Nkela to become a woman and goddess. But The Red Box is a strange club, where good girls do bad things.

Claire finds love, but will she stop mothering her sisters for long enough to realise? And will Arabella agree to date with the mysterious owner of The Red Box? Two sisters, one good and kind, the other headstrong and wild, live on the slopes of Mount Vesuvius with their father, who must marry them off in order to keep his farm in the wake of an eruption. But Cirius the gladiator has been blinded, so Cassiopeia must marry the poet Demetrius while headstrong Mathilde must pretend to be her sister and marry Cirius, despite her love for Valerian the Gothic Warrior.

In order to stop the wedding, Cirius rides Tarquin the horse up the mountainside, but will he return in time to stop the sham wedding or will he lose his love forever? But when she reaches the top with her faithful friend Matthew and their guide Tunsten, she not only discovers that she has been followed by borderline-agraphobic Bobby and his sister, but that the gods demand a sacrifice from her. When she decides to give up her ambition and stay with Bobby, the gods are appeased.

And what will the seagulls have to say about it? An epic tale set in Valhalla and the pages of a story book, with god Eric the Bloody Handed, his mortal lover and their son. And a forgetful Valkyrie.

Mr Rochester runs for mayor following the disappearance of the last mayor — but when he turns up — undead — and bites Sally — there seems to be a zombie apocalypse in the offing. But with the help of gobstoppers and two hats, Mr Rochester might just be able to remind the zombies of when they were alive….

Mr Faversham has just bought Swindon Zoo. Arabella Ryvita has invented a great new cheese at the Windlesham Cheese Factory and named it after her short, nice, handsome love William.

Thanks to help from Death Row exchange inmates from Alabama, he escapes from prison, but will he be able to convince everyone that the new cheese can do more than just be spread on Ryvita? And will Arabella choose love over cheese, or like her mother before her choose cheese before love?

But Lord Amon is also the keeper of the temple of Osiris and needs a sacrifice. Lord Barry has moved to Barry Island and is determined to marry a local girl. Both Sally and Mr Jones will do anything to save Barry, even if it means giving up on their secret love.

But Gordon still speaks of the old ways, and Mr Jones can still use the old magic. And what is love if not the oldest magic in the world? But her win drives him back to England, and her into the arms of Ushka, her guitarist who only plays on backing tracks. Josephine, the first female trainer, and her jockey Braithwaite, have made Red Rum the most successful horse in the country.

But her desire to be the best drives Braithwaite to an untimely chariot related death. The Jockey Club and her lover Simpson reject her, so she rides Red Rum off into the sunset, but will they stop at the white cliffs of Dover, or just keep going? Guru Guru Murshu and his tee-total acolytes Marsha and Gloria certainly like it until Michael spikes the drinks, and the club implodes.

And will she be able to convince everyone that good news is better than bad? But a chance meeting between old Army colleagues Johnson, Carter and Corporal Cleverfield changes everything.

Millie joins the Salvation Army, Jemima begins to wear make-up, but who will fall for who at the great tambourine giveaway? All is lost, retirement in Brighton looks likely, but at the last minute can the cast pull together a show that would garner a 6 star review?

Peter really needs to grow up if he is to save his job and get his girl — but is cross-dressing really the way to go about it? Demoted to janitor, he watches as the Levtiation Team takes to the skies.

Outside the village in the hollowed out tree, werewolves are readying for attack. Love between a human and a werwolf could bring two sides together, but who is a the werewolf and who is the human? After all, birds of a feather flock together and love cannot be denied…. Tony Toadstool and Marcy Potter live in colourful Rainbowland, years old today, and must marry in order to keep colour and order. Who will win the Fosse fight, and will Sparky the dragon be needed to light candles of celebration?

Caecilia, an olive picker in Ancient Rome, meets Caesar and they fall in love. But the barbarians are gathering at the gates…. Johnson loves speed and is building the fastest steam train in Borrowdale in But his ex-wife, Kate Angel, is building a school just around the bend of the track for all of the poor children.

But when she loses 20 years of her memory, he must follow in her footsteps and travel to Tierra del Fuego to discover love. Because when you get to the bottom of the world, you come to the top again.

Paul is a layer-outer of bodies in Blackheath, but provides Dr Doctor and Prof Johnson with cadavers. When they demand a live body, he gives them the woman he loves, Sally, but will Hyacinth and Crocus make him smell the pansies in time to save her life? Two American opera singers arrive in the Opera House in Manaus, determined to stop the destruction of the rainforests. But the indigenous people have their own ideas for saving the trees, by worshipping and listening to the piranhas.

Will Tally and Roger meet their toothy fate, or is there a different kind of fish food? Demon Dante wants to tempt his th mortal but when the artist he is trying to persuade to kill his wife, kills himself instead, Dante is set on a quest of self-discovery, forgiveness and redemption.

But his pursuit of fame ruins his burgeoning romance with the quiet Lady Susan. In the pyramids, the tomb of Akh-Akh is uncovered. A Nandos restaurant in Nottingham gets a makeover when famous chef LaRoux arrives looking for a challenge. But when he wins the admiration of the beautiful young chicken chef, the senior chicken chef gets jealous. A travelling circus in depression-era America hook up with a revivalist church after its leader, reverend Justin Bieber is sat on by the anorexic elephant Nellie.

Two washed up Vegas performers incur the wrath of their mafia-linked boss when they set up in competition to his casino.

When their boyfriends find out, will they have the guts to face up to the mob or will they pussy-foot away? If an American producer created a West Side Story-style musical about the coalition, this would be almost but not entirely unlike the result.

In the end, all the secrets in the world are released…. Giselle runs away from her religious family to join the theatre working in the London Dungeon. Her father, the vicar, desperately tries to get her back, but is beating her and imprisoning her the right way to go about it?

Or can he learn something from her theatrical family? All the staff at a snowbound terminal 15 in Heathrow Airport volunteer to take the Shah of Persia back home. But on the way they crash in Antarctica, where they must face the three terrors — polar bears, glaciers and icebergs. But love can be found in the strangest of places…. General Vesuvius is in love with Goth Penope, but their love is forbidden, and Flavia just wants to go back to Rome. Penope dies and so Vesuvius must choose — go back to Flavia and Rome, or stay and fight the barbarians at the gates of Bath.

Sand by Me — Sheherazade has fallen helplessly in love with Tariq, a lowly camel trader, but Prince Farouk has in turn taken a shine to her. An ancient Arabian tale of love, redemption and camel jousting. But will her straight-laced father put a stop to it all?

Captain Pilling, commanding officer of the Submarine Tranquility, is beset by both strategic and emotional difficulties. Can he release his trapped vessel? And can he rescue his drowning son in the nick of time, or will the sea zombies keep him below to help sing Bugsy Malone numbers?

But when King Rudolph and Queen Sophie appear in the neighbourhood, her life is thrown into disarray. Celebrity dentists always fall for the perfect million dollar smile. And with new drug metrocain, everyone can have one — but at what cost? A scary tale of love and lycanthropy. Rico loves Chica, but Chica must marry Tony to save her family from poverty and pigsties. A sinister abatoir in Bethnal Green where all the men are going missing. For all men are like animals.

A cruise ship sails towards The Port of Prance, where people are safe. But once they leave, will they return to their old ways of wife-beating and revenge? Philomena Smith and Andromeda Dench are two grand old dames of the theatre, vying for the same role in The Grapes of Froth, directed by none other than Dave Dixon — ex husband of both of them. At the laundry there are strange lights in the sky. What do the aliens really want and can human love teach them anything?

December and in the Lewisham maternity hospital, professional rivalry becomes personal as Drs Smith and Snow fall for midwife Sonia. Who will she choose? On the slopes of Popacatapetl, two scientists are warned about the sirens of the volcano. As the siren song becomes stronger, cracks appear in their relationships with their wives, and cracks also appear in the mountain. As the lava flows, will love save the day?

Everyone has a motive. Who is the man in the red hat? Will the satellite link up work? Can Susan Blush convince everyone that she is the best actress in the world? Will they survive the lion with the mouth of a cat, the headed hydrant, and the multi-faceted kaleidoscope of doom?

Expect hot air balloons and wise jugglers. Hansel is the finest Swedish chocolatier but his love for Brumi causes jealous Sven to have him banished. Will he grow a pair and climb over the wall to reclaim his factory and his love? And will Mathilde ever get to stand less than 5 yards away from Sven? Timmy loves Elsie, but will the ghosts of his brothers get in the way? And will he be able to put his war demons to rest in order to be happy?

But who is the Knife Bastard, and why is he killing? And why is he killing decimally? Will Rob save Ruthie, or will the acetate prove fatal? And who exactly IS the bad guy? Old Vic, 29th October. Can you have too much pie? And will their rivalry destroy the very thing they love? Cleanliness is next to godliness. The fountain of youth cannot be used selfishly or the drinker will die. In a deep, dark forest on the Isle of Wight, sprites and fairies try to retain their world, but the humans on holiday there threaten their existence.

Or is their forbidden love actually the salvation of a destroyed heaven and a Johnny Cash style God? Will Chief Engineer Tanqueray be able to fix the broken bacardi, and her broken heart, in time to save the crew? How do you know if Dogfight is really a doctor, when he could be a convicted felon? And is Cybergirl really a girl?

Two couples travel to the Grand Canyon in a bid to save their faltering relationships. But will they survive a capsized raft, and multiple infidelity?

Pedrov and his girlfriend work happily together until he is promoted and she must move to evil IKEA. Why is her sister Mordor so intent on ruining her life, and will Pedrov ever get to run the hotel of his dreams? Bowness on Windermere, 16th October. Abel the miller loves Margaret, who sells apples in punnets of varying sizes, but she fancies butch farmers and falls for tractor inventor Johnson.

Can Abel, with the help of twin brother Cain and his dog, finally get the gift of the gab and grab the girl? Bath Komedia, 14th October. Can volcanic cooking in Iceland and the love of a good, if tactless woman save the day? Is fine dining the real victim? And will Charles ever be persuaded to return? Mistakes are bound to happen. Families are torn apart, and lovers are separated. But the truth will out, and you should always go back for your man in the tunnels.

But what about Catherine? The first passenger railway takes a Quaker off on a pilgrimage to Stonehenge. Will she follow divine destiny, or return for her heart? Morally complex tale of a drunken eco-warrior and a thriving vineyard, which may or may not be organic.

Are principles or love more important and how much would you give up for the man you love? In the last show of the Edinburgh fringe, the Stoppers told the tale of a love triangle set in the Wild West. The town of Mitchum Creek, near Mitchum Falls in Mitchum County, has not seen a bullet fired in anger for a whole year.

But all that is under threat when Dierdre, owner of the Golden Horse Saloon, discovers that her old boyfriend Carmichael, has come out of prison and aims to take her away from her current amour Black Hat Bob.

Two sisters, one crime. In Turkey , a poor village woman enlists the help of two ex-cons to break her sister out of jail and then prove both her innocence and the guilt of the true criminal: She is seduced by the Comte de Monteferriat.

Eventually he becomes a mime so he can be in the Place des Vosges with her. In Buckingham palace, three plots collide. Lord and Lord Charlesworth decide to salvage a sunken 17th century warship, depriving a mermaid community of their ancestral home. Dual writer show A fairy tale about a woodcutter who is fails to cut wood for the Knight because he falls in love with his guardian angel.

Will the magical wishing tree provide? Who will Kutuchka choose as she comes of age: Sunday 22nd August , A druid musical set in Stonehenge. A man and a woman fall in love but the druidic tradition requires she give herself to a warrior first. Will this tear the society apart? Dickens goes to Bedlam to write a new novel and falls for recovered mentalist Elaine.

Can Mr and Mrs Head help or is the woman with two balls simple insane? A dark morality tale. Rameses Harrison is a harsh Pharoah. Will disease destroy him or make him better, and will Tracey survive? Conjoined twins Don and Dan Berkley are the secret owners of the Scotsman newspaper. Two men, one arse. Will they be brought down by the pre-emptive nuclear strike on North Korea and can their relationship survive the seductive powers of Susan and her husband Henry, the opposition schemers?

And will Alistair Campbell finally get a chance to tell Benjamin how he feels? David Cameron loves his llama, but is ashamed of his small face. Saturday August 14th The day Atlantis fell into the sea. Proud sentinel Jonas needs to keep an eye out for the Kraken, but is being distracted by the goddess Aphrodite, who fancies some human action while Zeus is away.

Is it love love love, or lust lust lust? Friday August 13th The Falaraki dating agency is run by Albert and Gladys — they can find love for others but will they ever be able to the words to each other? Carlos and Athena run a German Marxist theme taverna and are in league with the Senate who have banned dating agencies.

How many fruit puns can on Senate come up with and is zucchini a fruit? Thursday August 12th Old Man Jenkins cleans the old school hall, pre-reunion. Captain Microwave only has three microwave blasts left. On top of the Chrysler Building, they have their final showdown, after a guest appearance from Lady Gaga.

Wednesday August 11th Anthony marries Melinda, while Father Rufus warns him not to break 11 commandments. Will barren Melinda ever have children or will the plan for the women to swap places work? Will love across the boundaries of the real world and the fairy world survive the Nazi sympathisers in the town of June, Buckinghamshire? What does the book say?

Tuesday August 10th Scenes from the life of light entertainment legend Nicholas Parsons. Will family rivalry lead to death? Of course it will. But at what cost? And will the ghost of Andrew Lloyd Weber have any useful advice for them? Will love or Al Gore win out? And who has the perfect smile? Lord Susan and his faithful retainer Dorothy, along with their jester, want to bring back the dragons to make London strong again, by gaining control of the disappearing dirty stone.

Will William look with her eyes or her heart? Will her love for Peter bring destruction to London, only just being rebuilt after the Great Fire? Keep your hands steady. To save humanity they have to travel back in time to s prohibition Chicago, where they meet the smoking, bright Candace. Edington Collection Home Products. Epicure Selections Food, Cookware. Fifth Avenue Collection, Ltd. Home and Garden Party, Ltd. In a Pikle Fashion Accessories. Jamberry Nails Fashion Accessories.

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