Go get a job and take care of Hot women who have money responsibilities.
Im waiting for long term friendship but I'm not too picky as long as you are def and very clean as I am. Not sure what I'm seeking for but I'm a 35, talk, accomplished, fun, educated, easy going boy seeking for a cute girl to get into some fun trouble with.
Which begs the question: Settling for a deadbeat loser is like settling for a job you hate. There are way too many people who hate their jobs and keep on doing them, just like there are way too many women who settle for men who treat them poorly. What is it about non-ideal situations which makes us keep carrying on, doing nothing to change?
He probably is reasonably attractive and tells a good story about his current situation and his ambitions. Obviously, he will be on his best behavior during the wooing process. It might take one week, or it might take many months, but until a consummation is made, guys can be very charming!
By the time a woman hooks up with the guy, only afterward will she see his true colors. As we are generally all optimists, a woman believes she can salvage the relationship and change him for the better. In retrospect, every woman who has gone out with a deadbeat loser realizes the case. This is utterly disappointing and ludicrous.
You deserve to have someone love you back as much as you love them. Those who ask for promotions get promotions. Every day, we have the opportunity to meet a hundred people if we want to. It just takes initiative. If we never try meeting other people, we will never get rejected. Guys get rejected left and right because for some reason, society has told us we always have to initiate.
Instead, we settle for what we have or just being a lone. I never thought about this until readers kept on mentioning that deadbeat women tend to go out with deadbeat men. Society always sees men as losers, and women as misguided. I guess there is equality for all, after all! Not wanting to be with the hottest and nicest woman possible is hard for men to understand.
We men think that it is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all. Guys also love it when their woman gets all the attention from other guys. Of course, we all know women cheat on men as much as men cheat on women. Compare the scope now vs.
Settling is such a weak thing to do. It screams of insecurity. You have the right to be happy because someone out there will truly value who you really are! Having your financial life in order. One of the best way to build wealth is by signing up with Personal Capital.
As a woman, you want to financially depend on nobody but yourself. Personal Capital is a free online software which aggregates all your financial accounts in one place so you can see where you can optimize. Before Personal Capital, I had to log into eight different systems to track 28 different accounts brokerage, multiple banks, K, etc to manage my finances. Now, I can just log into Personal Capital to see how my stock accounts are doing, how my net worth is progressing, and where my spending is going.
Is your retirement plan on track? Find out for free after you link your accounts. I used to see these beautiful, outgoing girls go for guys that treated them like crap, cheated on them constantly, in some cases, pushed them around and basically disgraced them. I think much of it starts in the home and how dad treated mom if dad was around much. I have seen this over and over. Young women will go out and be with a loser bad boy who really cant seem to get it together and shun the smart nice guy who now is in his thirties and forties and sucessful.
Now he doesnt want anything to do with that once young girl who now is middle aged tainted and fat whore with 3 kids from two different losers. Turn around is fair play. The way they act at 25 is the way they are at In fact I think they get worse and turn into their mothers.
In fact, I think they get worse and turn into their fathers. I work part time myself and I enjoy life as much as I can. And it can be intimidating to see other guys making more money than I and going for a carreer. But when I hear them talk about women I feel reassured. Ofcourse this is a generalisation, there are always exeptions. After I finished my schooling in my later 20s, hit the gym, gained weight, have a great gym body plus a 6 figure salary, I school pathetic losers in their 20s with part time jobs.
I bang one 21 year old after another, pump them and dump them and move onto the next. Nothing brings out confidence in a guy than having a great body, looking good and a 6 figure bankroll. Because I have money like that. You sound so very insecure, and narrow minded1 Whom messed up your self-esteem in High School? You need a reality check, cause life is not all about looks, money and sex!
Trust me, you will someday regret it in your 40s, why you had to use women, and dumped them after! Real men do not have your kind of mindset! Good luck on traveling the world and connecting your soul with different spirits!
Some of you insecure guys of this generation think sex is a casual satisfaction! The big fact you, guys like you and the dumb girls who fall for it is: I think the phenomenon is more prevalent amongst younger women.
In my limited experience women who have some life experiences age is a number, but maturity is a relevant measure tend to make smarter decisions about who they enter into full relationships with. Younger again, youth being measured in many different ways women are not sure what they want and are often attracted to men who are irrationally confident re: The Western marketing machine is basically built to make women feel self conscious about everything and especially their bodies; therefore, when young women have not developed a solid sense of self confidence they are very vulnerable to a guy who knows the right phrases to take advantage of the situation.
Young men are targeted much less and get more space to go through the growing up process and build self confidence naturally. Personally, I spent a ton of time trying to look way more like a cool rebel than I ever should have. The sad thing is that it worked. My University Money You make some really good points. And I have to agree that life experiences and age play a major role in how women, and men, choose who to date.
So true Eddie, although it may not necessarily bring relief, you need to fish from the right pond, and then STILL take time and see if what you caught is what you want…. Personally speaking, I hate insecurities in a woman.
Hmmm, control issues for women huh? I guess I like that for a little bit. But, after a while, it gets old! She loves me for who I am, I raised our kids cook get food and give her my undivided attention. When she is off and we still manage to have sex 6 days of every week. And surprizing she keeps me around. I think that mike is on to something — most women are not sure of what they want, and if they are, they are afraid to go after it.
I also think that some women want to be with the jerks because they feel like they will be able to change them and have the happy ending — a fairy tale fantasy, in my mind. It could be interesting to see if the power dynamic shifts in the future with women beginning to out educate, and potentially out earn men. If they spend their 20s and early 30s with a deadbeat, then it really hurts her chances to find another one, since women prefer older men, and older men therefore have to choice but to go out with younger women.
Men get older, they have a wider choice. Women get older, and there are less older men. When in reality, a lot of guys working on their careers in their mids will just bang these women for the easy access but will not engage with them in a long term relationship something I advise men to avoid as there is nothing in it for you. If a guy wants a long term relationship, he wants kids. Women have it easier when they are younger, men have to be patient.
With social media, reality TV, etc, I met a lot of immature women in their 30s still living in a teenaged fairy-tale land. They think young, hot women want to sleep with them. Fact is older men are every bit as likely as older women to pass on gene mutations and birth defects to their children.
Nevertheless, most women would prefer to be in a relationship with someone close to their own age, not much younger or much older. I advise young women to avoid relationships with older men, as there is nothing in it for them unless the man is filthy rich.
Otherwise, the woman gets saddled with a wrinkled, balding, potbellied dude with aging sperm and has to play nursemaid to him as his health deteriorates. Fact is all people age like spoiled milk; no one gets better with age. No matter what we do, our bodies continue to break down, and older men are even more likely than older women to be responsible for gene mutations and birth defects in their children since male sperm cells mutate much more quickly than female egg cells.
Why would a woman in her 20s date a used-up man in his 30s? I advise young women to avoid long-term relationships with older men, as there is nothing in it for them except a wrinkled, balding, potbellied dude who they will have to play nurse to as his health declines. Here are a few reasons: If you are woman in their 20s interested in short flings, going after the early 20s man makes sense.
She is that bitch that you have been with that you would falsely use my name to get your way with your skank. Stop blaming me for what you are. I am not the problem. How dare you pieces of shit for people. Do not terrorize and attack my entire life and children due to you being primitive beasts for people who have nothing better to do than to treat me like you want to treat the skank that you have been dealing with who is not me.
Get out of my life. Or who you think you have become. Or who you think will make you a better man than that skank you used as a weapon you are stuck with.
Get out of my life and stay out of it. You made your own dog bed with your nasty vicious bitch of a woman. You men that lost me know why you did and why you are duds to me.
How dare you lie, cheat, steal from me over your problems and issues. How dare you violate me and my children why you know why you lost me in your lives. Stay out and know that you have not changed. You are not a better man. You have gotten worse with your nasty vicious bitch that had to hear your complaints with her not me.
Tell her the truth of why you lost me in your life. And no longer use me or what delusions that your mentalities think of me in your past.
You knew what your problems and issues where and are before your ever forced yourselves into my life and what the summation of your terrorism upon my life is the same as when you were rejected by me to get out of my life.
You need your skank and she needs her scumloser. No matter what you tried to revenge me for it is you that never learns that I have enough weaponry in regard to you to show everyone that you remain that scumloser of a man that I do not want.
I do not need. And that you endlessly chase your tail seeking that stupid idiot for a woman who thinks she is better than me when she is not and all that you are are womanizers and will never learn the difference.
Feel better about your little arrogant ignorant skank scumlosers selves for attacking me falsely and wrongfully over who you are and I am not? Truth bite you and kick you in the ass once again? Take your piece of shit with you, you nasty UGLY pieces of shit bitch. I agree with everybody. I think that these guys are just manipulative, lieing losers.
They prey on vulnerable women and make them believe they will give them the world. Or she puts you six feet under. May be you just got trickbagged by a lieing manipulative women version of yourself. So suck it up and pull your thumb out your ass. Stuck as a perpetual fourteen year old.
This breed must die out. I just want to voice another view of this debate. Some women like losers because they like to be in control. Not all women have bad self esteem or are trying to fix a man.
Why is it that a man can date any loserish woman he wants yet no one posts about that? If men can use women for sex then I a woman can do the same too!
My ex is love with a loser with no job, and living with friends. Despite our kids and home. Her emotional connection to this person more important than family. Maybe she a loser too. I know I am really late replying to this, but as a female who was engaged to a deadbeat, I feel the need to comment. I met Mr X on a music video set that I was a makeup artist for. At the time he seemed like everything I at 22 albeit a very young 22 wanted. He worked full time, liked music, and was a Goth.
I encouraged him to pursue his talent in art however, and remember telling him that working in a chafe at minimum wage was only fine if he intended on becoming the worlds best barrista, or it was his passion. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with Mr X and he was originally very emotionally supportive. Problems arose when we both went back to study.
He refused to get a job, and mooched which resulted in us me going to in to NZD25k of debt. Not an ideal situation. Eventually I realised that at 32 his ways were essentially set in stone. He was happy living off of the student benefit, spending everything on alcohol and partying, not focussing on a school and failing.
I knew I could not change him, and other than general support and encouragement partners give, never did. I guess it came down to being young and stupid and wanting a goth boyfriend.
I am now 27, and am still dealing with the consequences of being with a deadbeat. My studies have gone on hold as I put paying back debt at upmost importance most came from him not paying rent in favor of partying and getting tattoos and have nearly payed off everything working a job I hate.
I would certainly say that they are really the Big Losers. I see this girl I know, shes a letter carrier,and is attractive. I feel bad for a lot of these girls, especially the ones that have to have my leftovers, my ex is a dead beat daddy, cower, fake, pedophile, mentally slow, loser. I love our child but wow! I would never date a dead beat father!
They just want to get laid and have fun also have some help with the bills if they are loser without any higher education. When really this is all a way to cover up for the scum bags and loser that they are. Ugh makes me sick!
Their own less than decent behavior is thereby justified. Being with a good person removes your own justification for being selfish. Also, girls who only like bad boys are full of it. Like good men not nice guys they are busy. Some real outlaws do embody being a bad boy, like real bikers. Their reputation precedes them.
They just want some attention. They deserve each other. This is oppressive to men. Most women will only have sex with men who behave certain ways and most of those behaviors are correlated with Testosterone levels. It just so happens that those behaviors are are also correlated with a host of other behaviors that make actual relationships impossible.
I lived with a deadbeat pothead woman for 8 years. I loved her so much because she was intelligent, witty, and had a passion for many of the things I liked. The only problem was that she was extremely lazy and never applied herself.
She expected me to do everything. She never offered any emotional support and ended up being more of a roommate than a lover, and a bad roommate at that. She would sit around and play MMOs constantly and not want to do anything else.
I showed interest in it and would congratulate her accomplishments. She then started acting like she didnt want me around. I noticed her hiding conversations from me. She was becoming friends with her guildmate and they talked on Skype every day. I figured there was no harm in it because he lived all the way in Sweden. I caught them havung Skype sex one night. She revealed to me her plan to move to Sweden with him abd they would meet on Valentines day.
I felt so bad. Her treating me better makes me happy but I still feel like something is missing. I like a woman who I can debate politics or philosophy with, not someone who debates about what happens on Real Housewives. She treats me better though, so im happy in this relationship. I can keep the philosophical debates for my friends. She sounds really feminine to me.
Though, maybe you should encourage her to do what you have specified was the probable outcome. You are completely wrong. The majority of us women are not high maintenance, we pay our own bills and all we want is a man who will do the same!!! You women should consider yourselves lucky today since the women years ago along with their men had to struggle to make ends meat. And working or more hours a week plus taking care of the home and kids is a walk in the park? Personally, I wished my wife worked.
With so many very stuck up and high maintenance women out there these days, that makes them real Losers. Is there a special dating site I can go to? I know, I know. Two months later, it became obvious why. Bat-shat crazy with depression, daddy issues, etc. I am a natural fixer in life.
I have an excellent job and an awesome family. I fell hard for someone recently that I felt was my mate for life. At first he showed me his home and land. He told me about his child I am a single mother myself. He had a huge amount of land and a family business. I thought my prayers of finding someone that was hard working like me were over.
We enjoyed so many of the same things, and were like peas in a pod. I noticed after a while… He has a family business that his mother runs. His mother controlled his money, and paid all the bills for his home and land from the family business. I would work all day, and he would nap most of the day.
So basically after time, I realized. He sat around and watched TV and napped all day. His once very nice home ended up dirty and very unclean after a while, until his mother visited once a month, then it would be clean again. There was never food at his house. He also had never been married. He had a child, but never married the mother. His child was a demon when he visited. The man had so much resentment for the childs mother that he let him get away with ridiculous things so that when he returned him to his mother, the child misbehaved with her.
Then it just kept going on and on in this relationship. I kept doing more and more and more. We began arguing because he never had money, but nevery wanted to get a job. During a heated argument…. He was stating something that I had said previously, and was using it against me as he had always done before. He called me a joke. It was not the worst words that he had ever called me.. But it was the truest words he had ever said. I was a joke. I was the one that let this lowlife person consume me.
They were laughing at me and not with me anymore becuase I had gone out with this individual. It was the best words that he ever could have said. I cut the relationship immediately and walked away from that person. I have looked back and do miss him, but not alot.
It was time to move forward and that person was not for me. I missed out on a year and a half of my life. And that is time that I will never get back, but it is the best lesson of a year and a half of my life.
It taught me that my values were higher than others and I deserved better. That is complete BS. Okay, maybe some women do, but when a woman keeps picking the same type of loser, she is getting something out of it for herself. My former best friend for thirty years has picked guys with the following qualities: No money, no education, dead beat dad, drug addict, done time in prison, uses everyone and anyone, wants meaningless drug-induced hard-core sex.
She is very shallow. I agree with Victoria, it is about wanting control…with a minimal amount of effort. At first, I thought, she must have some underlying self-esteem issues.
But one after another deadbeat came and went, and she pursued all of them like a horny housecat. I began to realize that the men she chooses are the ones she wants. She gets a feeling of power and superiority over them. And if there is trouble, with the relationship, or even the law etc.
When is someone going to write a book about that? It happens less often than men going out with gold diggers. The number of women who pay alimony to men is still a small fraction of men paying alimony to women. Men pay about 97 percent of all alimony.
So you should support men that dont want to pay for everything in our modern age where women make just as much money as males. This happened to me! I was with a once working man who made money, bought me things, while we worked at the same place. I made more than he but he supported his child, and helped with bills while living with me. That all changed once he got fired, started his drug habit again. Weird that someone who had nothing and I gave him everything would do that.
Women go out with dead beats and losers because they have no self respect. A man can spot the difference between a woman with self respect, a lady and a skank in the blink of an eye. Only insecure women date losers. Because if you let it continue, your loser boyfriend is going to use and abuse you…. I read several articles on women empowerment, women issues, feminism, etc. Some of the conclusion which I have drawn are:.
This is due to increased social and economic mobility where people born in lower income groups can make their way to higher levels through hard work. Again this happened throughout history but earlier the barriers were almost insurmountable. Now the barriers are much less rigid and to an extent almost non-existent. The ideal way to understand this is my dividing the population into different percentile groups by earning. Men like to earn more than their female partners.
Women like their partner to earn more than them. This factor affects two groups greatly: These women need to find partners in the same profession so both can equally share towards a higher living lifestyle.
However men in this band might rather go for a women with a bit lesser income so the career of the male partner is prioritized. I am a male and do not believe there is anything bad in this thought. These would be unemployed, minimum wage or temporary contracts. They generally cannot find partners based on income, intellect, etc. But again this works for a smaller time length. Women in early 20s might go with this man out of curiosity,to have new experience,etc.
Hence the current system pushes males to earn higher so they can select from a larger group of females. It disincentives higher earning females by reducing their chances of finding a male. This would protect their wealth over a longer term. This arrangement provided partners for people in every band, even males in the lowest band. However within the current system there is a constant struggle to move upwards. AGAIN nothing bad in this situation: But it also leads to: Faster pace of life, lower cohesiveness within society, constant jumping from one partner to other both for males and females ,etc,etc….
So the essence of what your are saying is the American way of life is anti-stable family. America led the path to social mobility and also divorce and feminism, both of which are anti-male. So for lower social economic status men, leaving the North America may be in their best social interest, but not in their social welfare interest American welfare is near the best in the world.
The only way around the divorce issue is to live in sin, never marry. Lower social economic status men in non western socities tend to fare worse in the dating game. Families typically have strong veto powers when it comes to marriage: Chances nuch higher theyll get married but likely to the least attractive women since the poor, good looking ones tend to marry up. Actually Matt, your wrong about the economically stratified society providing women for every men. Instead what you see is that men are forced to marry later when they have achieved financial stability leaving young men screwed since few can compete in assets.
I was a stripper for 8 years! I dated great men. Have a greal man! I had to take care of my mother whose mentally ill! Also pay for college myself! I cannot believe all the miserable, women hating, men in this thread. I can kind of guess why they arent getting hotties. I am objectively above average looking and intelligence and higher earning than most men. I bought him a sign for his truck when he worked for himself doing construction.
Never could get more than part time hours. I let him move in so he could get caught up on bills he owed and get back on his feet. I went back to school to become a dentist so he wanted to go back to school too. He became a chiropractor. I mean he literally cannot pay his expenses. Meanwhile I spent thousands helping him get his first office set up. I started buying properties and paying him to do maintenance, so I am actually his main source of income.
But he has nothing saved, is in huge debt, and yet each day seems to do very little to market his clinic or get the word out to patients who could use his care. His a good chiropractor but a terrible business man. From the beginning, I always paid for both of us when we go put. Even before I met him I have always paid my way because I never wanted to be indebted to anyone.
From my twenties to now. I never expected anyone to pay my my way. So you judge me saying well you must be ugly. I am attractive even if I say so myself. So you say well you must be a loser with low self esteem. That is easy for you to say.
But what about the fact that he is a genuinely nice person and I genuinely care about him and want the best for him. I want him to thrive. I just want him to pull his own weight. Men like you judge women who wanttheir man to earn decent living. You call them gold diggers. If they settle you call them losers or ugly. Sounds like you just hate women.
I am not looking for him to be rich. He is also 50 by the way. But when my mom and brother were terminally ill, he went with me to care for them. The problem, by providing for him I feel like his mom or older sister. I have always tried to work from the assumption we are equal. And he does have skills I will never have which I admire. He is always available. Like a good girlfriend. I am not frigid. He tells me it is always new for him like the first time and always finds me hot.
He is skillful on bed to his credit. Even though he too is exceptionally very good looking. I am writing because I honestly want input here. I hate using the word, but you are acting as an enabler. My dearest relative has gotten herself into a situation that is incomprehensible to me. But his life story sent up so many red flags about him — nothing criminal or anything like that — but he seems to function only through the women he has been with.
The thing to do is live separately. I wonder if you met this man when you were at the top of your game, so to speak… what would this type be? Thank you for the reply, Jake. Also, I hope you have resolved your situation and I would be interested to know what it entailed. Well, my dearest relative is marrying her guy. Also, I hear your tone soften as you spoke about boyfriend helping with caring for your parents. I get the sense you took on a lot of responsibility as a child. Not, to mention we have been condition as women to care for others before ourselves.
Your boyfriend Doesnt maintain anything because he knows you will take care of everything. He is using your weakness and strengths against you. There is no excuse for his grown ass healthy self to not be ablessed to make a living for himself. We have been condition to pit everyone before ourselves that doing it any other way seems unnatural. Get a puppy less headaches. You should seek counseling to get yourself help. Go get what makes you happy!
Hell, get nice guy that can hold his own and have some mad crazy sex! You will forget all about nice guy broke lazy ass! I look forward to an update! Thank you for responding so thoughtfully! You had me laughing and also cringing because you have a funny way of pointing things out and also because you cut to the heart of some things that I have to admit are true.
You are wise and generous. The update is if you are still out there: I bought a house which we do not live in, but which I wanted him to renovate so that we could move into it. The deal was that I would not pay him for the renovation because he would live there with me when it was done.
I felt that if he was providing this valuable contribution, then I could justify being the only earner. He did a chunk of the renovation. He works on it a little bit on the weekends and wants me to work with him. I do but I am exhausted. During the week he goes to his office and sees zero to three patients per week. I imagine George Castanza under his desk. I see at least patients per week to put it into perspective. If I do call it quits, it is hard to imagine taking this leap.
I guess I am scared. But also just plain exhausted. I feel like I can barely get a breath above water as it is. And also worried for what will happen to him. I do love him as a friend and family member. His father just got a bad diagnosis and will not be around long.
I should be there during this tough time as he was for us. If I leave, he might go into a deep depression. Or, as you said he might turn around and find someone else or become successful! Ironically my first two husbands cringe that sounds so bad that I had two husbands became independent and respectable after we parted ways! That sounds even worse and it is all true! I am always ashamed of the fact that I had two husbands and that they were both losers when I was with them and are now successful.
This is so illuminating and so awful to realize! So he is a grandpa now. They have tried to imply I am grandma but I am not feeling it.
I never played mom to them and never married their father so I am not going to jump in as a third pseudo grandmother. I have a grown son who is getting married in the Fall in Hawaii. I will have to pay for his trip to Hawaii and am guessing that he and his x-wife may be wanting me to pay for their two daughters and their hubbies also to go to this destination wedding.
He instead made some admittedly very pretty decorations out of tree branches that he gathered. The worst case scenario: So really, for HIS sake and my own, I should pull out. Even though I love him. Ms Jaqueline, you have given me a lot to think out loud about. I was a professional photographer 9 years and a nanny 5, then developed cancer due to my high levels of stress, 80 hour work weeks, and 3 hrs sleep nightly since age To me, men are babies.
They need full time care, emotionally and mentally. I stay for a while out of guilt. I get nothing out of relationships because I refuse to carry a full grown man through life. But back to why I relate to you. I am currently dating someone. He of course needs me. He of course wants to marry me. I am now finding myself planning to open a business just to support both of us in life.
The difference with him is that I do love him. He stayed with Me in the hospital 4 days. He is loyal to me. I got caught up in this situation being with a man who makes me look less attractive due to the added stress. People are shallow, cold, and judgemental. I just came back to this board and realized you and others had reached out. Thank you so much for responding. I can feel your frustration. I had never though about it that way, giving up your looks for the relationship.
But in fact that is exactly what is happening. When you are basically working the work of two people, you are burning the candle at both ends and the stress eats away at you. God I hope your cancer has been curable. And now I am going to give you some advice that for some reason is easier to say than to hear.
It is something my Mom said up until she passed last year: Take care of yourself because no on else will. You have a right to take care of yourself, too. Is he taking care of you in other ways? Gads, the trainwreck is inevitable… The day will arrive when ye must get rid of the entitled or passive aggressive bum. I think your words are ugly! I think just by your words your UGLY! So for u to just say strippers are ugly.
Shows your age ur a child! I am married to a looser absolutely miserable and very beautiful. I have 3 kids 15 19 and 9.
Handsome who may have been spoiled by women all his life. THAT is the guy a woman should look more closely at. I know because I married a guy like that about 31 years ago and he is my best friend, my husband.
Men treating women less than well may work in the movies but not in real life. Here is an idea…. This should be a huge red flag that she is probably a really insecure individual that will date a tall, bad boy, with muscles and tattoos over any decent, sane human being and then turn around and blame men for her irresponsible behavior.
Why does anyone care? Why does any of this matter to anyone? This topic, in general, is one yet to be taken very seriously. That minimizes the very specific pain and emotional damage associated with dating one particularly bad man. Where walking away felt like giving up on somebody you loved. Where you still thought of him as a good man working to be a better man. And while you were digging yourself in deeper, distracted by the practice of unconditional love, this man reveals his true self.
A full coming out party, as the very bad man he is. And yet, u continue to stay. Loneliness and unworthy feelings are now the only reality you know. Not just the result of this mans heinous carelessness. More damaging was the shaming by loved ones and general school of thought that only a flawed woman would choose that. You go back him. More than a few times. There was no reward. Down on their luck men in this thread can spin yarns all day about the insecure girl who loves to be mistreated.
But it only serves to reveal their personal insecurities irrelevant to this discussion. Also hoping things will get better as they once were in the early days together.
But how to change that feeling? My conscious mind tells me that yes, I deserve better. But I keep letting the loser manipulate me….. This is what I battle every day anymore. CHiggins, thankfully you are released. You put so much care and thought into your response. It was surgical and poetic at the same time. I hope that you continue to find healing and, beyond that, all the beauty and adventure that life has to offer. I hope to hear more from you.
He swears everyone else is the problem and makes one excuse after another when he is eventually fired. He lived off of her and had her working two jobs and bugging her parents for money for years. The other woman figured him out and when my relative threw his crap out he came back after the plane landed at 2 in the morning making threats.
She took that piece of garbage back and her room mate told them both to leave. Not only do you walk away from scum like that C Higgins you drop a nuke to wipe if off the face of the earth. You do deserve better no matter what you or others think.
Instead, those women just want to play the field and have a good time. Women have a tremendous amount of power over men, particularly when they are young and hot. If they are smart and mature, they use it wisely. It astounds me how many women squander this power…. Easiest way to tell, IMO, if the guy is a good guy is to not put out for the first few dates except for a kiss.
I think the reason a lot of gals end up with bad guys is they are attracted to a lot of their characteristics — spontaneous, carefree, etc. A lot of them are also attractive and due to not having a job or not having a job that requires you to work more than 35 hrs a week have plenty of time to stay in shape also.
My sister in law is that way. Recently, I tried to set her up with one my few single friends in his early 30s who just recently got out of a LTR. Sigh in the last 12 months instead she has dated 10 losers, the best of which lasted 6 weeks. If there are good singles, they are damned hard to find. There are a lot of people in committed relationships who bend over backwards to hide that so they can cheat until the emptiness in their lives is filled — or so they believe.
And they prey viciously on the single population, knowing full well that there are so many of us for the taking. Date with caution, my fellow singles. I agree with everything said here, particularly with the comments about what women are doing in their 20s. I notice that much of the party scene here in NC is filled with young, tanned, fit people but not many have careers or even good jobs. Many work at the beauty counter at the mall, the gym as a personal trainer, or starter jobs.
They spend all their time on appearance vs making money and building a future. It is rare that you find someone who does both. I totally agree that women waste their time on good looks and sacrifice quality characteristics like ambition, compassion, and stable career. However, I do believe the good guys get taken early so you are left with a very small pool where you must choose between attractiveness and earning potential, decent morals, and all-around nice guy.
Very hard to find both! You are all wrong. Here is the issue, women have been making more money over the last 20 years than they ever had before. Now women have the same mentality that men have about money and status.
On an everyday basis I see it more and more that the woman is in charge of the relationship. I see woman driving and men sitting in the passenger seat of the car. I see woman being single mothers with the father nowhere to be found. The question is why, why do I see that. A working man that is busy cannot be around all the time when a woman needs him because she is busy also. It is a crazy game these days, but the people losing are the hard working men.
Many Career women would really make a Horrible Wife anyway do to their Greed And Selfishness that they carry around with them Everywhere they go. They both told me when they broke up wit them that they feel like they wasted their time.
The only thing I can think of is they thought they were hot, probably the hottest guy they dated. They were obsessed with their man. They dont realize until the relationship is really over that they achieved nothing, no house, no car, no savings. The relationship was a waste of time. Gaining material things is not the purpose to be in a relationship. No matter how long or short, a relationship is never a waste. The worst were the super hot ones. They had zero interest in Men except what they could get from them and were as promiscuous as any guy.
The average looking girls had a lot more going for them. Tell that to my roommate who is a total loser but somehow gets women. This guy leaves used condoms on his floor for months at a time without even bothering to clean up after himself. That is a loser in my opinion. How can he be anything but a loser? In the world of love, I am a loser. This man requires some acknowledgement, any signal, something, anything that hints at a possibility. Perhaps I should be more direct.
With women I am acquainted with I do engage in banter, etc. I grew up thinking the same as most normal men. If you build it they will come.
I built a good life great career, a growing side business that is profitable, enjoy good health and want for nothing except a normal girlfriend. I am at ease talking to anybody about anything. I can go to a party rare event and easily socialize. I can come and go as I please.
There are very few if any truly available women. Women come in a few basic configurations:. I have no chance at all with these women because I might have a trait or two that remind them of their ex-husbands or fathers who they might hate very much.
These traits could be anything from a wrinkled shirt to my baldness. They think all men are the same. They also gulped the feminist ideology early in life but now find themselves looking for validation and comfort from other women in the same boat.
Former pretty or former hot girls: She;s got orange peel all over her and her midsection is bulging. Her expiration date is long past and she offers nothing to compensate like a nice home cooked meal, affection, compassion, or support. I have a business partner who happens to be a woman. For some reason, partner conjures up sex regardless of the adjective. These women want to control everything about you. But not for a lot of these middle aged women.
They would rather make the decision than suffer rejection. Dino, this is in regards to your post. I agree with how hard it must be to find any kind of partner due to past relationships and unforeseen circumstances. I was in a relationship for 18 yrs. I always dreamed of being that girl that wanted to grow old with the man I had children with, have grandbabies and be happy.
I was far from that. I had a beautiful son 9 yrs. He was born with a disability, he turned my life around. He is 19 yrs.
When my son started school full time I decided it was time to go back to work, I wanted my independence. I am a very independent and stubborn person, I will admit it.
I am not unreasonable and I am very good listener to sensible. I bought my own house with a little help from my sister, my son and I were now on our own. I stayed away from relationships for 18 months. I then met, a man younger than me at the establishment where we both worked. He was one of those guys that said all the right things and made me feel really good about myself. Especially after being in a so called marriage of never going anywhere or doing anything for myself.
He wanted to spend time with me and always had the right thing to say. I know, red flag there He also lived in a furnished basement suite with really nothing except his cloths. He only lived half a block away from me. He started coming over almost every night.
He would mow my lawn, and we would talk for hrs. I was in a really good place financially. I always had money in my pocket, I had a low mortgage, my car was paid off. He was making really good money as well. We dated for about 6 months then he said he could move in and help me out. Things were great for a while, then things started to change. Maybe it was me that was changing.
We have been together 10 yrs. Within these years I have always worked. I have taken care of my son. Things started to change about 4 yrs. Its hard to explain just when it changed.
He is very vacant when I talk to him. He has confessed that within the 10 yrs. He is consumed with pot and associates with bad company. He checks out other women, not just the occasional glance, the stare for 30 second look.
These are just some of the things he has done. It gets so much deeper than that. I would do it for him, I would enjoy it, but not every weekend and my holidays. I want to travel and see places.
Walk on the beach holding hands and lay on the beach somewhere drinking fruity drinks. I am a hopeless romantic, I like supper by candlelight or just cuddling on the couch watching movies.
We are now in dept. He has all the hunting gear. Now this is the second time and as the saying goes, Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I am now in the process of a separation. I cannot handle the things he does now to drive me crazy and knows it. I have lost my trust in him. I now get anxiety attacks and my memory is not what it used to be, caused by stress. I am not going to say that this is all his fault, cause its not.
I guess my point is…. And if he acts too busy for me, fuck him. This arrogant bullshit is for 12 years olds trying to learn to get laid NOT For adult men who want a real woman — who will stick by them. Stupid and ludicrous non-sense. Get your own life and pay attention to the woman you like and swoon her…. You are more than right.
In order to have top 10 women you need to be a top 10 man. If your lifestyle is lower than this, if you lack of purpose and goals in life you will never get these women.
Generally you get something equally to what you are. This article is total BS. Unless you are a man who looks like a 10 all your efforts to appeal to a 10 are going to fail. Be a real man, face life and give yourself a reality check. This article also ignores the fact that most women who are gorgeous to look at are egotistical, selfish, obnoxious high maintenance headaches who will ruin your life.
But some younger guy want to try the 9 and 10 and that whats this article is about. So, I have to disagree, this is not BS! Speaking from many years of experience, most gorgeous women want men who are extremely handsome, built like a football player, have charisma, social status and will spend lots of money on them. If anyone wants proof of what they really want, just read their requirements in dating websites.
I used to get a lot of laughs from doing that. It is true that they all want a tall, rich and handsome guy, if you read their dating profiles. But between women fantasies and what really happen there is a world. Besides, never listen women advises on dating or women psychology. From my experience many of the things that will attract the 9 and 10 are actually achievable by most men.
Things that you can learn or build! A small, skinny, submissive, ugly, and poor guy who can barely get a 3 in his teen year can become: A small, muscular, dominant, ugly but with a bad-ass style, rich and with a crazy game and can get 9 and 10 after couple of year of hard work.
Of course being tall and handsome, will give you great advantage … but what is 10x more important is being a Bad-ass Alpha and that you can build by yourself! Great article, help me a lot Como conquistar uma amiga recently posted… Honra Masculina: This article comes from someone with experience. After all is said and done, looks are still a very important part of my sex life.
That is not to undermine how important being honest and true to each other is. Vince here from PUA Lingo. This is a great post man, I read a lot of stuff regarding this and it seems like you actually have some experience instead of diluted, mainstream advice. PUAs are sleezy and egotistical liars. This guy speaks the truth of the matter. Women are greedy and self centered.
Yes girls will play with the guy and fuck with his head sure. Whenever I chased the 10 is when I lost my chance. Guys remember that women have chased men for thousands of years. Just because social standards have changed doesnt mean our anatomy has changed, we just need to adapt. Focus on urself and what you want to do not who you want to do. My rule of thumb is just put in enough work to create the chance. Leave it to her from there.
Give them the reason to chase you! They just line up to be your girlfriend. Hi Chuck, How much money one must make in order to be considered rich to get a woman who is a 9 or a 10? Depends on where you are. For sure above average! In a small town, it would require way less than in NY city. Also, other attribute can raise your value like playing guitar for exemple but going toward their 30, those women will want to use their attributes to insure the best lifestyle possible, so they will compete to have the best provider available.
That would be your answer. Actually, the best way to attract a woman is through humor. I remember when I was younger, I would look at every guy who was cute. As long as he is kind and can hold a conversation then we are good. Focusing on your goal […].
Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. The quest for a 10 Typically, here is how most guys, who have a goal of hooking up with a 10, become good enough with women in general, and they achieve a hook-up with a very nice women but fail to reach the desired level They can get themselves a very nice girlfriend like an 8 in a pretty short time!
They just seem unreachable; something is missing! Crossing the very hot-girl threshold The reasons why you could never cross that hot girl threshold are mainly because of the following: You still have a background of social anxiety. You lack true purpose in life besides your quest of getting a
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