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This essay was originally published in Read on and tune in to the accompanying episode of our podcast, Best Friend Banter , recorded two years after publication of this post.

One of my close military wife friends said this to me, and I have never forgotten it. Just because we appear to have it together during tough duty stations see number 7 …laughing things off and trying to make the best of everything, we are always at our limit. We have to look like we have it together. There are times we are raising our kids alone, and we cannot, even if we wanted to, get a hold of our husbands…for weeks.

So we have to have an answer for everything, or at least know where to find one, and that amount of stress is deafening. We are happy to help out a friend, do someone a favor, and generally be a good person, of course. Every spouse has a few things that cause stress for her.

Just leave her alone. If we can attend events, go on vacation with you, etc. We are always getting up in the middle of the night-always taking the dog out-always getting up with the kids-changing every diaper-washing every dish-taking out every trash bag-making every meal tired.

Single parents…man, you are amazing. This goes back to number 1. In order to feel in control, we make a system. This system is based on preventative maintenance. It keeps us sane, it holds things together and it makes us happy and keeps our kids on the right track.

And who has to pick up those pieces? Obviously, we have fun and enjoy our children; in fact, they are often the best distraction from tough duty stations. Funny, silly, and so resilient. Or he acts out. And we have no idea what to say…because we have no idea when he is returning. We try various cute tricks: Yes, we knew what we signed up for when we got married. Home can mean not traveling but working hour days. So we take kids to school concerts, sports games and put them to bed at night.

We plan to have our children around the time our husbands will actually be home AND available. We plan family vacations and weddings around these schedules as well, and often, they get canceled or postponed. I know more than one military couple that eloped after their elaborate wedding was canceled due to a last minute trip.

She said she was married to a man in the military and they got divorced because ultimately, the stress and distance was too much for her and her husband to handle. Fortunately, the military encourages a few incredibly romantic evenings such as balls and homecomings where you can touch that magic…but they are not representative of our actual life. There are some things that are really freaking cool.

Ever watched a ship pull in from deployment? Ever watched a change of command ceremony? Never a dry eye. Have A Bless Day. Thank you for sharing. We have neices in the military. I have seen their life, but you shed even more light. You are all to be admired and emulated in how you handle life. Thanks for the great article, but please add the gastrointestinal issues to your list.

Military husbands are stronger than military wives, but you knew that right? You are an insensitive, unforgiving type person. Why do you not befriend them. Why cannot you make an effort to do something outside your self important , judgmental self,. I have never ever seen such stepford like women in my life! Weirdos that busy themselves with complete nonsense… Gossip, smoking on their porches every morning..

Smh and still on the porch when I get home! How do u live through a MAN???? SUCH sense of entitlement they are not doctors.. Most of us do have jobs. Some of us cannot work and keep the home together. The people you are talking about do the same thing outside the military. Whether you are in or out of the military, married to a military member or not, I think we all know the difference between the types of people you describe and other types of people.

It sounds like you are a little stressed out. It seems like you are the only one with a job here. A lots of military wives want to have a job but cant because is not that easy to find people you can trust to watch your children while you are working. If nothing else at least get a hobby. When the men quit acting like jealous whores over a work permit that might be a possibility..

Its women like you that make women like me look like beast… Men want women that need them and depend on them for everything. You broads disgust me! Get your shit together and grow some balls… Boo how everything is hard. I did not work for most of the 22 years my husband was in the service because, we had a young son that was born before boot camp and a second son born 10 years later. We Chose for me not to work until the boys were in High School and Middle school, why?

Well, not that I am stupid or could not get a job, but because we wanted one constant parent there for the boys. One of us home when they left for school and one for the end of the day, to make it to concerts and their sports, to make it to every event and when they were home sick. Believe it or not, most military wives make this choice. As for sitting on the porch talking all the time, that was the best.

Yes, there was some gossip but it was more support, sharing ideas, advice, and just to know that they are going through the same thing that you are. All the emotion, fear, frustration, and loneliness is shared during those talks. We have been retired for about 3 years now and I miss my Navy Wife Friends, I miss the talks and the friendship. Wondering if you have children? My husband retired from the AF 4 years ago. I spent 9 years doing home daycare because working outside the home, I would have made no money at all after daycare.

Once they were all in school I worked part time and structured my work hours around school because my husband went tdy and to Afghanistan and Korea for a year. Shame on you for being so judgemental. Sorry Joey but I disagree. Most military husbands could not do what their wives do!!!

Marie———- 26 year Marine Corps Wife!!! Military Husbands deal with the exact same issues that military wives deal with. How dare you think you are a better spouse than him because you have ovaries. For you to be married 26 years, you act like a teenager. Fuck you, how long has ur husband served, 2 yrs, 4, 8? How old r u 26, 29? I know I nailed it! You got the women cussing you, as if she know you or your maner is all to familar your reply was as if you the man she talking about is a perfect soilder AYUT!!

I have to agree, never in the 14 years have it ever belittled my husband! I know most times we let our soldiers do and handle things. However, I have learned a lot in the 12 years of being an active duty wife you got to seriously know your role and how to muscle your way through. As a spouse is have learned I have a voice, opinion and a right to speak. So when you get told to keep your mouth shut or your husband gets told to control his wife, haha , wrong here can no more control you than your children can.

Keep digging ladies and gentlemen of soldiers there is a way and a light at the end of the tunnel! Marie, First, let me tell you something about myself. Why do you think stay at home moms work harder than stay at home dads? People like you actually make it even harder for men to be stay at home dads. Why tear one another down? Who do you think volunteers at the schools during the school day?

When my kids were toddlers it meant going to Peanut Festivals and Air Shows, zoos and museums, an arboretum explained as a tree museum , Monticello, Mount Vernon, aquariums, street festivals, turning trips to get the oil changed into explorations of different types of stores or identifying different types of vehicles. I know for a fact that I could not fill the shoes of my very supportive wife while I am gone.

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While I'm from a low income family who gets the lesson and uniform for free as Dad used to be a kickboxer for the gym, Mark belongs to a rich family and h Liquidgold - It was during my summer vacation in Sweden, a warm and sunny day at the beach.

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Friday evenings were always nice and quiet at the fitness club. Guest - I'd gotten an email on the account I use for posting to usenet groups. One of the things I do on the side is build gadgets using single chip microprocessors called PICs.

I watch a number of usenet groups dealing with the things, and often post what I hope Bob Johnson - My name is Bob and I am completely submissive to my wife's desire to humiliate and dominate me sexually. Last Wednesday, I was waiting for my wife to come home from work, dressed in my usual outfit to greet her.

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She wanted to know if I would look after her daughter for a couple of weeks. Steve, her husband won The Salesman of the Year award which was a 2 week trip to Europe for two. Unzipped - As a long-time voyeur, I've had some good luck. There were those few times when guys brought their women into the adult bookstore and arcade in our neighborhood. Sometimes I was able to watch the action through a glory-hole, sometimes I could just hear i John Field - You must be over 18 for read this story with rape, if you not like such stories, please turn back.

I don't promote rape or non-consent sex. This is only a story, fiction, if you not understand the difference between reality and fantasy, read not more. My older Brother Jamal was staying over at my place while he visited Los Angeles for the first time. I was so used to being a single woman that I had forgotten he was Pants32 - I'll start things off by describing myself. My name is Charlie, I'm 6'4" with red hair and blue eyes, I'm a little shy of lbs and in fairly good shape. I'm 20 years old and live in a small town in a rural area.

It was a nice, sunny day out, so I Anyway, to start out a night of horror, I had a blind date and it turned out to be really bad, the guy being shorter than I am and bigger around then he was tall, with a roaming eye.

Exh-Voy, Group-3somes, War Victim by: Stephanie Sarg - It has been almost twenty five years since Doug Mitchell came home from Viet Nam, a war he never understood, but one in which fought, because his country called. Some of the things he saw sickened him, and to this day have made a lasting impression on him Kristen Marie - This story is true, and I am writing it to solicit responses.

Because it poses an interesting gray area between cheating and sex. Read and judge for yourself! Steve was a 44 year old police officer who had lost his wife to cancer more than 2 years ag Exh-Voy, Mast, Watching April: My wife, April, is a total nymphomaniac. She has a constant craving for new and different cock, and she wants to get down on every one that is available for her and do her best to use it in every hole she has t It was long and hard as his hand stroked up and down in a slow rhythmic motion.

He held a magazine in his other hand and was gazing at it intently. Leonardo Viruz - Hi, my name is Zen and I'm a 22 year old student. I live with my parents as my university is pretty close to where we live, and I have a pretty big room of my own and get all my cooking and laundry done by mom, so I'm in no hurry to leave. I have a y As for me, I was more limited in opportunities It had been several months since we had last spent time together. Roland - It all started on Sunday. I was chatting with a friend, Rachel, whom I hadn't spoken with in 2 years.

I wanted her to come to me, and, luckily for me, she was willing to come. She had a week off from work and could come by that same evening. Humour - One weekend, our friend let us borrow his video camera, and Sue, my wife, and I decided to make a movie of her stripping and playing with herself. While Sue was upstairs getting ready, I found a good porno to use to stimulate her. Her favorite, two women Global Carol - "No, no, it's true. It says right here 'Cum Sucker: No bar in the world is go ISL - Well where to begin?

Firstly my name is Ian and they say the best stories have a semblance of truth in them and this one certainly has, it happened this way. We had just moved into a new house and had the place extended to accommodate a guest bedroom w Jack - Ethan ran upstairs to his bedroom to get dressed. He put on a pair of boxer shorts.

His dick was not as hard as before, but it hung out the left leg of his shorts. He put on his jeans and looked at himself in the mirror. His dick clearly stood out against At 38 years old, she thought she was living the American dream-good income, beautiful home, stable family life and living in an upper class co We are do not usually dress up to go out, but this time we were looking for fun.

So Trish was wearing a short skirt, black nylons and a red lacy thong. Her blouse was a Poppa 1 - For my birthday Barbara and I hired two babysitters to stay with the kids Sat. That's the home of the Indiana University Hoosiers. I went to school there and enjoy several restaurants and clubs and mil Lonelyhusbandtom - My wife Karen decided to join me on a business trip to Chicago to get a break from the kids and do some shopping. We arrived Wednesday night, Thursday and Friday were pretty much uneventful except for Karen being a little hornier than normal.

Guest - The wife and I had decided to go out to dinner and then to an adult movie one saturday night. After dinner we went to a local adult movie house. The movie theater had a balcony section that was for couples only.

We took a seat and enjoyed the movies on th To say that I was apprehensive would have been an understatement. I was anxious to see what these "Book Stores" were all about though Wearing my low cu Humper - This is a story of how my wife of 30 years was blackmailed into sex against her will.

I had some problems with my computer and it needed repairing, my wife worked with a computer repair man at her job. Sugarman - My husband made me get a job a few weeks ago. He had been bitchin' about me layin' around the house all day for all four years of our marriage and he finally told me that if I didn't get a job, he'd throw my ass out of the trailer.

You mostly get young girls working until they finish high school and then they move on. For the most part I have limited my feelings to fantasy and masturbation unt Druid - I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go downstairs to the kitchen. I figured that as long as I was awake I might as well get something to eat It turns out I got more than I could wish for.

Walking quietly, down the hall, I heard a faint giggling. When Margo would go out in her backyard he would see her and stand in his in his boxers with an obvious hard-on and leer at her, sometimes he would, over his und Phil - "I must say, Jonathan, I've just had such a wonderful time today!

I couldn't see you riding home alone in the dark. The house was packed full of people and there was plenty to eat and drink in every room but Jess still managed to find a reaso Kate Baker - Caleb arrived home late one evening from work, completely defeated by the load that had been placed upon him the last few weeks.

He set the heavy briefcase down on the marble tile and started to empty his pockets into the strategically placed bowls for ch Alan Scott - Martha threw her husband a quick glance, raising an eyebrow ever so slightly.

He gave her an almost imperceptible shrug in response. She made a weak smile and returned her nervous attention to the portly man seated behind the desk before them. Stephanie Sarg - She thought she was gonna die!!! For the past forty five minutes Julie Baxter had gone through a rigorous aerobic workout at the health club she was a member of, and if hell was any worse than this she'd have been surprised!!! On television when ever the Guest - My wife and I have been swingers swappers for several years.

We wanted to get a bit crazy and she wanted to be a real slut one night I agreed. My wife Mia dressed in a mini skirt high heals very sexy top showing mostly skin and her tits, oh no panties I have no idea why but my dad said that many times, it meant we did something we knew were weren't supposed to do but did it anyway. She was met by a couple of stunt men. Today was the off day for the Xena set but she had been having some trouble getting used to the fight scenes and several of the stunt men had agreed to help her.

She was an very slim Asian girl with a bubbly personality and free spirit. She was always smiling, which was great since she had the cutest smile in the world. She had mid length black hair and always w SH - While I was in college my freshmen year I stayed in the dorms. While my dorm was a mixed dorm, nearby was an all girls dorm, and through people I actually became friends with a few girls over there.

One suite in particular had 6 girls, mostly Asian, who I Good son-in-law - It was the holiday season and I always had a hard time finding a gift for my wife. So I decided to ask her mother if she had any ideas that might help me. She took it one step better and offered to go shopping with me one evening after she got off of work Exh-Voy, Mature, XP07 by: I had always regarded myself as a masculine man but, in private, I sometimes fantasized about being the passive partner in sex.

I would pretend my wife was a man as she went on top. I would open my legs a I watched two or three men browsing through the rental section as I paced outside the entrance to the theater which was located inside our local strip club and boutique You had thought you'd be serving as a hostess, plying the disgusting Paul44 - I sighed with the pleasure of finally reaching the end of the day and approached the door ready to close it just as I was about to turn the key I was startled by a tapping at the door.

On the other side was a rather severe looking woman who I thought was Otto - Chapter 1 - Mike My mother died when I was two and my sister was one. So neither of us remember her very well, and that's why we thought it was great when my father married again. You see, my father had to raise both my sister and I and we could see tha Otto - Chapter 7 - Dad Our plan took place a couple of days after.

Actually, it was Mike's plan, and it was pretty simple. That Friday, everyone would be out all day. Laura would go out with Chad to fuck, I'm sure , Donna would also be gone. I was pretty e Sunday, I had found her, later, but she could not speak, her parents were there. That Monday, however, after school, we found a park to go and sit and talk. I was a little nervous Arrakis - Mike Bronson turned the corner off main street and headed out on Elm Street to the high school he had graduated from some fifteen years ago.

He had missed his five and ten year high school reunions do to job constraints, but now it just so happened that h K9LoverUK - en finish the coffees, I came back into the living room and was taken back by the sight of this dog fucking a women. My wife also was taken back but in a different way. Her legs where wide open, her skirt was up past her Pubic hair and she was rubbing her If you like what you read, shoot me some feedback and tell me what you'd like to see! In the meantime, I hope you all will what I have written down here.

Bristle-Town - We are in our late thirties and enjoy life to the full. We especially love hearing about husbands watching their wives being screwed by other men. My husband found it a real turn-on and often talked about seeing me with another man, although I wasn't sure Eager46 - Anita Clark sat at her Kitchen table and studied the advert that she was composing for the local paper. The advert was for a gardener to look after her very large and secluded garden that surrounded her large Country Manor style house, in the countryside Anita - Salman and his wife, Zoya and have a very exciting marriage.

She's a wonderful lover, friend and a very beautiful woman. Other men are often attracted to her, and one can see them looking and lusting after her whenever they are out in the evening. The saran wrap circled your body holding you motionless, the only skin free was your breasts and a small hol Beetlebum - Lucien, an impecunious French law student in Japan, taking some legal work with him, went to a mountain hot-spring inn.

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Of course now the area is filled with subdivisions and yuppies, but at that time it was a peace Red Dragon - I had an experience last month that I thought your readers might like to read about. It began while my husband, Hal, and I were returning home from watching a movie at an adult theater. Hal was really horny and so was I. On the drive home, I had my husban Ace in the Hole - I am the warden of a special prison complex in central South America, and my prisoners are of a unique category owing to the nature of their crimes.

The prisoners here are all attractive females Charlie - Last week I had to work at the office really, really late. I was on my way home at around 2 a. When I got there, it was pretty dead. There was one girl behind the counter Assmaster - I was working as a carpenter's helper on my mother's new house. This kept my alcoholism going strong and I even had enough left Weekend of Kink by: I'm trying to have a civilized conversation; there is a difference you know.

First Gene - First chapter A bit of background. October , me, a happy widower, restless and active, Martial Arts, black belt with 3 dan and a good willing and women lover, 1. I came from my residence in Toronto Canada, to celebrate my Smith - Unlike so many of the bawdy houses of Amsterdam, the building bore no signs. In fact, as I stood in front of the chipped, black door marked 12, I almost thought it was all a practical joke.

What did I know about the strange Hazraj, the turk who, in drunk Hal - Chapter 1 Jan had started seeing Doctor Stevens only after getting tremendous pressure from her best friend, Donna.

Something happened to me during that first year at college that will probably stay with me for the rest of my life. The "incident" that I'm writing about took I know for a fact that I could not fill the shoes of my very supportive wife while I am gone.

While I work 8 time zones away, she has raised two girls. Yes my job is difficult but in a different way. She would not be able to do my job just the same I would not be able to do hers. Please do not take things out of context on here. I am a military man who is gone more than 6 months out of every year.

If you have not experienced them leave it alone. LC Gee, thanks for clearing it up for me. During Desert Storm I was mobilized we had no children and got to see what it was like to be at sea; actually many of the Reservists aboard USNS Comfort were also dependent wives and we quite enjoyed the adventure knowing, of course, that eventually we would be going home to our normal lives.

Eight years later, when my husband went on his six month cruise and I was home with our toddler, there were times I was a bit jealous. The number one rule of deployments is that whatever can go wrong will… the car, the plumbing, the roof… a hurricane. That is exactly what my husband said to me, when I was out of commission for 3 months hospital and bed rest He not only had to do my job, but his and finally understood what I actually did all day, He then told me he could never do his job without me at home doing what I do.

He knows that together we are team. Having to leave his family when duty calls is not easy. Missing special occasions sucks. Every military family is different.

The jobs offered on post are more catered to females making it harder for a man to get a job. Then he is looked at like a piece of trash cause he doesnt have a job. The FRG is catered to females. Yes males are welcome but he is looked at and treated strangely. So it is harder for a male.

While his wife is out fighting the bad guy he is at home alone with no one at all to talk to or hang out with or to help him through these times. I am a woman I have been on the spouse of a soldier and now I am the soldier while my husband struggles to keep our home together.

He definitely has it a lot harder than I did. Sorry I would spell check but my ignorance was issued here so it just makes my post that much more authentic. Thank you so much for writing this! Only 4 years and 3 deployments in and I have felt every single point you made! Home run on this one! Let those around you know your needs so WE can help You!!!

You guys should just lick each others kunts and get it over with. That is completely uncalled for and rude. I take extreme exception to that.

I am not dependent on my husband for anything. I hold three degrees, work a full-time job, and take care of our children and home. I hope ur friend the devil spits in ur face an takes you home with him you have no idea wat your talking about so until you do shut up an go live overseas with ur friends the enemy pervert. Best to just skip over their comments—otherwise, you feed into their miserable life.

My ex husband was airforce i was army and my new husband is airforce. Then get a job, Joyce. Get a job and help pay for others who are serving the country including your husband. She should get a job. Focusing on raising secure, valuable citizens for this nation is nonsense. For about 2 months. The emergency leave was because my dad had to be revived twice after dying twice. I had to quit what I loved doing because daycare is not going to raise my children.

So tired of the ridiculous mindset that belittles those of us who put our children and husband before our own ambitions and agendas! I avoid people with her outlook like the plague. I beg to differ. This belief is not true.

We need to stop judging each other as spouses and start supporting each no matter what choices we make. We all stand beside our military spouse in support of them and freedom. Wow your a real peach Nadia. Are you a mole…. I think you might be on the wrong site. Please consider changing for my sake. It is one thing to say Get a job and another one to find one, especially in a small country town attached to a Defence Base and in the current global finance crisis!

The people , the places and experiences are just magical but the aloneness does get to you but believe it or not it is worse after the kids leave the nest and your husbands are not home. Right out of my mouth too! No money is not in abundance, we are not rich. Like so many ppl want to believe… And military ppl pay into unemployment….. NOPE ex military can not collect unemployment!!! But by god they have to pay in to it!! Could never figure that one out!

Those of you that are not military nor have ever been military …….. But I would love to ask you to put yourself into our Millitary wives shoes, and below is how the shoes look like: For those who have kids, they have a job, a both father and mother parenting job. Please Nadia, put yourself in that shoes then read your own comment to see how awful that comment is.

I was a military spouse for 10years, worked full time and did all of this. It often goes unnoticed. Good for her for speaking up. We it may seem like we have more duties than our husbands and maybe some of us do. Some wives may have a job and some may not.

They carry more stress. We miss ONE person our husband misses more than one if you have children. They cannot do anything they want to do. They get yelled at for something someone else did. Sure their job may end at the end of the day they may get a break from work unlike the wives to with the kids.

Sure I may want sometime alone because I never get it. But I am a mom I believe that is the mothers main job. If I did than maybe I should go out and get a job. But I love being home with my children I love being home for my husband. I guess all in all I think my husband works harder than I do. I never wake him up at night for the children because he works the nest morning and has to get up at five I can take a nap if I get a chance. I love my husband and I love my job.

I never complain about it because I love it. I love spoiling him and my kids. I think you are assuming that all military wives are just that. I am nurse as well as a wife and mother. I have a found a job every time we moved. I definitely had an organizational system in place that accounted for late nightsat the ball field and a sitter lined up when I had to work late.

I had friends that I ccar pooled with and on ocassion covered early morning shifts with breakfast and evening meals. Being employed and a part time single parent us difficult and when you look back. In that is the satisfaction and know all that you CAN do it again and you will!

All I knew was that I was so grateful when my husband was able to be with us. He was a medic so most of his war stories were not what anyone would want to hear. I feel very accomplished as my children ended up acceptable adults and their dad died just 53 days after he retired. I thank God every day for the experience of being an Army wife as it taught me how to cope and manage. Not always temporary if one has an education and a career.

Jobs and careers are two different things. Nadia, please note that Joyce says she was active duty Army. Even if that is not true, she is the spouse of a military member. She is deserving of our thanks and respect. It is very difficult to find a job when we move so often, even with transferable skills. I am the person who, more often than not, without him, executes a move from one coast to the other about every two years.

I manage the move; monitor the packers who often steal things , the movers who usually break something , find a new home, clean the old home, research schools and crime statistics, rent the U-Haul and drive our two kids, two dogs and cat 1, miles or more each time. I fill out the paperwork to file a claim for the stuff that gets stolen, lost or broken. Then deal with the tears. I am the person who manages the budget, cleans the house, cares for the kids, and cries many long lonely hours when my best friend is unreachable for weeks at a time.

I cry because I miss my best friend, my partner in life, the person with whom I have children. I cry because my children cry when they miss their Daddy. And by the way, we have not been fortunate enough to get a duty station anywhere close to our families, so when I get to a new duty station, I have no one.

If we can afford it, we pay out-of-pocket to travel to visit our families at the Holidays. Usually, though, we are just us — me and the kids — for holidays and birthdays and spelling bees and school plays and swim meets. Nobody owes me anything except respect. Kate, Thank you for your service, stand proud…you are the lady standing right beside the wonderful service member..

I spent 22 years doing the same things, you just spoke of and I hold my head high, We praise the Good Lord for our country, and would do the job all over again. As a matter of fact our 4 children have followed in our foot steps. So I guess we have done it all over again. Thank your mate too. Master Chief, Thank you for your support, your service, the service of your Sailor, and that of your children! Its a small Navy world: God Bless, and Happy Holidays! Kate, sadly there are some who can not grasp the full scope of being a military spouse.

Not many can handle this life and bless you for doing your job of supporting your husband and being the stability for you kids! I hope that you read this note of mine because you deserve to know that your kids are benefiting from your dedication. At least until my husband retires or I find the perfect flexible opportunity that will accommodate my position as navy spouse AND utilize my Harvard University MA.

So there, Nadia, suck it. For Navy groups, check out http: And you can always work your schedule around the needs of your very special child: Thank you for your eloquent response to an ignorant statement. The problem is that unless someone is in our shoes they will never understand. I had a career before my husband and kids. I will rebuild what I can when we move for our final time this year. After 30 years active duty my husband has chosen to retire.

Thank you for not responding to Nadia in the same base language and behavior she exudes. People like that will never understand. Kate you are awesome and spot on! We do all of that and even more! Some of us have careers outside of the home but a lot of us make our family and this lifestyle our career. We do not ask for handouts but merely want our feelings validated and respected.

Thank you for spelling it out to the poor souls who lack the respect and compassion to walk a mile in our shoes. Blanca, you are correct. I thought I knew what I was getting into — a 2 year tour in Pensacola, then retirement and back to MD and our families.

But my husband kept getting promoted. No one owes you anything, including respect. I do it every time without bitching about it. You are the one who makes it difficult. Having a puppy is just as hard, possibly harder, than raising a child.

Yes, I just went there. Women think they are a special breed after they have children, but anyone can lay on their back and get pregnant. You all start to think you should make millions because you clean shit off another human several times a day. Just remember this, you made the decision to have children. No one forced you.

Stop complaining about them! You, my dear, are an idiot. You have no idea to what you speak of. Be that as it may, I wish you future happiness you seem very bitter and a chance to love a child someday. I am so sorry for you, Not Typical. I will pray that you find peace and are able to purge yourself of whatever tortures you so.

But you, you are the filth and disgust that this country needs to rid itself of. If you think being a mother is easy, you are sadly mistaken. I have not given birth but I have raised my niece since she was born. It is not a cake walk. It is hard work. I am disabled and waking up multiple times a night to feed another human, WIPE HER ASS, hold her, rock her back to sleep and wake up every 15 minutes to make sure she is breathing is exhausting and the most amazing thing in this world.

She did not come out of my vagina but she is the most amazing thing to happen to me. Some people are not cut out to be mothers. You are not deserving of unconditional love from a child or a puppy. You are the type of person who would probably abuse a poor child or animal. How dare you say those things. I feel extremely sorry for you. You must have had a horrible young life.

You should probably seek some serious psychotherapy and the best psychiatrist in your area. You sweetheart are a cold, heartless bitch. Anyone can lie on their backs and get pregnant? Way to spit in the face of every woman struggling with infertility.

Please know that you are appreciated. She also worked full time as as teacher at all our duty stations in the states and abroad. I admire both my parents. That being said, I am not sure that I would have been able to do what my mom did…. All of you that have done so and continue to do so have my respect and admiration.

Thank you for all your strengths, weaknesses, resourcefulness, sanity, insanity, compassion, determination. I could go on You are amazing. Very well said, Kate! This is much like my own story as an Air Force wife of 12 years and mother to 3 children.

OMG, DO you know how hard it is to get a job every year or two years, never climbing the ladder, never getting a jog because you mention your a defence family, or never getting a job because you are a unknown. Every move, every new job, I take with me my experience and skills, and I am continuing to make more each knotch up the ladder. Sometimes maybe a turn on your perspective can help. Next time, look at it this way and decide for yourself if it works: When you start a job, you are going in to help with a task.

Can you do the task? Every skill out there is learnable one. View them as YOUR client. But I thought you knew everything…. Starting at the bottom, part time, crappy shifts, struggling to find last minute babysitters for those crappy night and weekend shifts, because your husband is deployed all the time, mostly with less than 24 hours notice….

Get a better education and try harder. I am a military husband and raise 3 kids and a dog yet I still work. Must be a man thing. We have a stronger will. Maybe you established your family after joining the military. Oh and good for you. Joey Boots, You should be careful what you say. I have been married 14 years and moved 9 times. I have two children and a dog. I have both a BA and Master degrees. And I am sure you do not have a stronger will than I do.

Oh, having a degree does not mean that you are better than someone who does not have one, it just means we had a different opportunity than others. I believe its a thing we have instilled in our men vs.

Education can come from books, interests, and sheer determination to be some one with skills and interests of their own.

I move once every year, give or take like everyone else. My wife was ex military and she has withstood much more stress during my deployment time away than I ever did taking a sight picture on an enemy combatant.. Perhaps you and Nadia should get married.. I am a spouse, mother, student, and Ministers, wife. I was myself enlisted for four years, I have two teenage daughters with special needs how dare you call anyone one lazy because they do not have a traditional job. Okay Joey Boots, back off.

A man thing how the h 88l are you to say it is a man thing. I raised two boys while my husband was gone for 13 months, then gone every three months, while working a full time job and taking care of the bills, the house, mowing the lawn, fixed leaking toilets, etc. My suggestion to you is take a hike. When my father was stationed overseas and my mother and I were with him, civilians were given all the jobs, even baggers in the commissary, military dependents were not employed by any military base.

Give me a call, until back off. If your will so strong then why arent you the one deploying. I run my own photography business, watch a child that isnt mine almost 80 hrs a week, i foster military family pets when they are pcsing, deploying or tdying.

Not to mention keeping my house not just spotless but you can white glove my house and not find any thing out of place. Not to mention keeping up with my own child and his sports and school assembles and everything else that comes with being a mom.

Dont feel too inferior to us. And we do this all and keep ourselves put together. I have refrained from commentin on some of these ignorant post. My husband served 26 years in our Navy.

Guess how many kids— 4 , 2 Greman Shephards… oh I guess I will list my cats also. Nurse… work mostly nights.. Now my kids are grown and in the military. I have retired and so has my husband. Now he works 9 hour days as a fed. Doing the same job..

I started my own business.. You sir are an ass!!! Setting aside the single parenting that has to happen during deployments, that makes getting hired at all very hard, and due to the possibility of another move the job is unlikely to be one that pays enough to cover daycare because those kinds of jobs need people who will be around longer than years. Yes Nadia you need to do some research on things not to say to a military spouse…did your mother not teach you that if you can not say anything nice then do not say anything at all!

With a total of 7 deployments n all! This was my first move from my home state of Kentucky.. Now we are told we are headed to Germany for 3 years..

You all need to re-evaluate yourselves before you defend or criticize. I spent ten years in active army as a tanker and military police.

I have seen the best and the worst the Army and Joint base housing has to offer So yes that means you too Marines and Air force. Some of the worst types of people are you wives clinging to your spouses coat tails. There is a reason you all have a label attached to you and your support for each other is fake.

You are worse than a supermarket tabloid and gossip about each other, amongst each other. Military Spouse is a title, not a career and you tend to forget that when the situation arises. You are stupid as hell. There is nothing more to say and no I am not one of those people you think you are talking about.

But I have been there. My family has been there for many generations. Should you choose to carry on the tradition. How can you categorize every military wife into one single category. Have you ever been disabled? In our case, the military has nothing to do with it.

Do you have kids? Do you know how expensive day care is? Do you know how expensive medical bills are for someone disabled? My fellow mil wives are my true friends. There are a lot of fake people in this small world, but there are some good ones out there. I think some people, even those like you who have served, forget what young men and women give up at a young age to protect our country.

What branch did YOU serve in. She never said anyone owed her anything. Nadia, you are an idiot, I have worked the entire time with my husband. I am,proud of that and of my husband, we lived pay check to paycheck, did not have many bills, the fact is unless you are further up in the ranks you live below the poverty line even in the military with the spouse working.

Get your facts straight. Living with a military spouse has special circumstances, there are different problems, like not hearing from your husband for 4 months. Nothing not even letters, you see when we were active duty, there was no email. Hearing about a missile hitting a ship and not knowing if your husband was on it, this is not every day life. Do not judge until you walk in our shoes. My wife had a fulltime job maintaining my home when I was deployed or just gone all the time. The military is extremely underpaid considering what we do.

If my wife had held a job her money would have gone to childcare. So what is the point if you are not actually making money. Also how is a person supposed to develop into a hireable person if they are forced to moved every three or so years.

Also no telling if there is actually work they are qualified to do in some locations. For example we lived in Alaska for four years, a lanscaper would have a pretty hard time working up there.

If you have a small child, then none of my comments have even been about your wife. You are offended for no reason at all. I move all the time and yet I am still the bread winner of my family. Oh gosh, how can people do it? You get yourself a trade skill or a marketable skill. Believe it or not, companies are very supportive of military families. Nowadays, people move jobs that quickly anyway. I suppose if you chose to landscape, you should also consider a second skill if you plan to live as a world traveller with your spouse.

It would be totally ignorant to jump in without some kind of thought towards what one might do to pitch in. Is there anything she likes to do besides the single skill she has landscaping? There is likely a market for that interest. I do wonder to myself… I can only expect that your wife is reasonable, but if she is the same type as the livid, childish women on this page, I have to wonder why you are okay with her feeling so entitled to what is yours.

In a marriage everyone shares, but how much is fair to contribute? Otherwise your family will become a hierarchy. Nadia Please check your facts. Not all active duty military are paid cost of living COLA per region. That was gas for 2 weeks if I only went to work and the grocery with in a 5 mile radius. Yet gas was regularly. And with was 11 miles away. Yes I chose a military career, I accepted that when I asked for Hawaii prices would be outrageous.

But not all active duty receive COLA. You are sometimes moved into highly populated areas with a huge unemployment rating. Yet now I am undesirable to the most common and starter waged job. Or need to go see family times a year and you are a thousand miles away. But I will not tell them what they are going through because their lives are different then mine. Sometimes the best wisdom is knowing when to be silent.

Not to mention, why is it out of the question that your wife may travel for her career? If she is a landscaper, perhaps she could make enough to travel for her work. That was for YOUR career. She deserves to do something she loves. If you both love each other very much, you should both be equally allowed to be whoever you want.

My father was in the Air Force, moving quite a bit, and my mother worked in another state. You are very ignorant on the lifestyle. The wives are often the only parent around and provide the stability for the kids. With constant deployments and exercise drills when the service man is IN country and the constant moving.

The military children lives are constantly in turmoil and upheaval. The one parent is the person that provides stability and the emotional support for the children. This is a full time job and very demanding as well as taking care of every single demand that life throws at them. Sick parents or loved ones dying when you live a world away or just miss seeing the births of nieces and nephews ect. Military spouses work regular jobs as well as taking care of the everyday needs of the children and their spouses.

It only make her list more true than ever. You need to get a grip on reality. Just know that me, and plenty of other military wives are contrinting members of society, outside of keeping our family together. Enjoy your life as a Starbucks barista. Military wives suffer tremendously and we still keep it together.. It is a constant struggle. You should educate yourself and stop being so ignorant.

Not to mention the extra daycare cost when my husband leaves at random times. Did you even read it? Joyce said that SHE was army in addition to her spouse being in the armed forces.

Not every military wife follows their husband around like a dog. My husband chose his career Army and I chose mine. The day someone thanks me for my service over my husband, is the day all you wives have destroyed the respected men and women serving this country.

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