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If you're new here, you may want to get my discreet newsletter to learn how to make him sexually obsessed with you and only you. Click here to get it. Being turned on is the best. Periods of prolonged arousal can lead to mind-blowing sex and toe-curling orgasms.

Plus, the process of getting horny can teach you a lot about yourself. In turn, you can teach your partners how to better please you, too! If you want to know how to get in the mood for sex now, try these tips. While this tutorial video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your man scream with pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you currently struggle to reach orgasm, then you may want to listen to this podcast where I teach you how to orgasm easily and often.

Whether alone or with a partner. Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here. If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually obsessed with you, then you can learn these sex techniques in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous mistakes that will ruin your sex life and relationship.

But this is normal, and your sex drive may not even be problematic. You just might not understand it. The dual-control model was first suggested by researchers Bancroft and Janssen in [ 1 ]. The pair suggested that sex drive is based on two factors, not just one [ 2 ]. The first factor is the sexual excitement system or SES.

This consists of everything that turns a person on. Anything that gets you sexually excited activates the SES; these things are known as accelerators. Seeing someone sexy, either in person or on a screen?

A certain smell, the way your partner touches you, a sexy song, wearing lingerie, or reading erotica? All examples of things that activate the SES like pushing your foot down on the accelerator in your car. The sexual inhibition system or SIS. Brakes can be pretty obvious. Stress is a big one [ 3 ], so is feeling disconnected from your partner and having a poor self-image [ 4 ]. Childhood trauma and abuse [ 5 ], depression, and even certain medications can act as brakes, and you might not suspect it.

Otherwise, the SES can run rampant. Problems occur when your excitement and inhibition systems are out of balance. If your brakes are insensitive, you might engage in unsafe sexual practices. On the other hand, people with sensitive accelerators get turned on much easier, and those with insensitive accelerators are harder to turn on. Learn how to turn on your girl. Overall, there is more variation between women than there is between men and women, however [ 6 ].

Check it out here to learn how. Traditional advice to help you get aroused focused on adding accelerators and pressuring the excitement system. But the discovery of the dual-control model shows that many women need help taking their foot off the brakes. Now that we know this, however, we can provide advice that actually teaches you how to get in the mood for sex by decreasing brakes and increasing accelerators.

Another difference between the way men and women experience sex drive comes with the stages of arousal. You might be familiar with the 4-stage model that has been used to explain the sexual response cycle for decades. It was originally described by researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson and includes excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution [ 7 ].

However, not everyone agrees that this model applies to women as it does to men. Responsive desire means that you feel desire as a result of erotic contexts. Some women have already discovered that having sex before they really want to is a successful strategy [ 9 ]. As one woman who gets the Bad Girls Bible newsletter explains:. Responsive desire is the counterpart of spontaneous desire. They just have a different kind of desire. More recent models have been circular [ 10 ] and non-linear [ 11 ].

If you want to get horny, you need to:. Release your brakes — aka your sexual inhibition system SES — This means you need to do things that address your inhibitions if they are many or particularly sensitive. Some examples of inhibitions include stress, feeling disconnected from your partner, having a poor self-image [ 4 ], childhood trauma and abuse [ 5 ], depression, certain medications, anxiety, exhaustion or anything else that prevents you from getting turned on and horny.

For example, you could be watching TV, without feeling aroused. Then your man starts kissing your neck which starts to get you super aroused. Find a scent you like, and fill the room with it through candles, incense or room spray, or mix an essential oil with plain lotion and massage it into your skin. Many women love the scent of vanilla, which is easy to find in most candles.

Some women are turned on by the smells of musk, peppermint, lavender, and jasmine. Pumpkin pie and licorice can also do the trick. Try them all, and see which works for you. You may even find that you need to just smell your man or his cologne…if so, then grab one of his t-shirts.

Drape a colored scarf over your lamp to enhance the ambiance. Turn on music if it helps you. This list of sexy songs is over strong and has something for everyone. Many women find that taking a shower helps them get into the mood.

Slowly caress your body and massage your scalp as you get clean and start having some dirty thoughts. Take your time and enjoy. If I want to turn myself on. Low lights soft sexy music. I pay special attention to my breasts and nipples and work my way down slowly to my womanhood. When you step out of the shower, you can slip into something than makes you feel sexy or nothing at all.

Nothing will take you to fantasyland faster than reading a racy book, which is a surefire way for you to get turned on. You can imagine yourself in the scenes, linger over the parts that are turning yourself on and even reread your favorite passages. One reader described it as the best way to get aroused because.

Cleis Press is known for publishing erotica. They publish books about everything from LGBTQ folks to bondage, sex with strangers and stories involving fantasy elements, among others. However, there are plenty of books from independent publishers too that will help arouse and turn you on. If you need something now and free, try Literotica. If you enjoy reading the printed word, you might enjoy putting those words to the page yourself.

Your stories can be a naughty little secret that you keep in your nightstand. Or you can read them out loud to your partner to get your juices flowing. Toss aside any notions that you might have about porn always being demeaning to woman. In fact, many women like porn just as men do. If you want to know how to turn yourself on, try watching a video of men and women masturbating, having straight sex, having girl-on-girl sex or even guy-on-guy sex.

All of it can help you with getting turned on. Many women are turned off by mainstream porn, however. If you prefer something more tasteful, with more plot or more romantic, you might like Hot Movies for Her or Bright Desire. Check out Erika Lust, too.

This female director knows how to get women horny! Once you find something you like that gets you horny, send it to your man to pique his interest like one of our readers does! You can also watch a romantic movie or a drama with a steamy scene, whether it involves sex or not. Here are a few of our favorite scenes:.

The list becomes ridiculously long when you factor in sizzling TV scenes that can encourage you to slip your hand into your panties. Several readers told us that they like to watch videos of their partners masturbating, too! You can help your man record, or he can send you one. Watch a video of the two of you having sex. No wonder so many readers suggested flirting over text and sexting, with and without photos! Sometimes I even send him dirty texts with plenty of innuendo. Another thing I do is I send a suggestive text and my hubby.

He knows when he gets that text it is time for him to respond throughout the day to help me get in the mood. Sending sexy texts over the course of the day will have you both aching to get down and dirty once you get home from work or running errands. As one reader put it:.

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Click here to learn more! A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from. Reblogged this on Nouveau Perspectives. I submitted a handful of what I thought were thought provoking, heartfelt essays on the human existence at 22, but TC never gave me the chance to shine, so I stopped trying. In the aftermath of the most mind-blowing orgasm […]. Recognizing this, men are willing to try all kinds of aphrodisiacs. Or that you can finally go crazy on […].

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Discover how to make yourself horny fast, with these 11 powerful I'm also going to teach you about your "sexual response cycle" so that you # Effortless Orgasms - Use These Techniques To Orgasm Easily AND Powerfully Every Time Traditional advice to help you get aroused focused on adding. I kept stroking, and right as I was about to cum, I said “I am going to cum. . This time maybe she'll let me give her a good horny slutty mouthful of cum. . she helps put it on, I was able to maintain the erection by jerking myself. Are you sometimes getting so horny that you can't sleep, can't think straight or strong that if I don't have a clitoral orgasm, I can't fall asleep at night. Then I have less energy again to work with. I don't like having clitoral orgasms and they make me have all the symptoms Deep throating — I'm not kidding.