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I am a lady. Like any lady from a respectable family I was married to a respectable man. Handovercock my groom and I are the perfect couple. During our courtship he read me sonnets and we ate biscuits.

Then, we had a beautiful, perfect wedding. It all happened when I was getting ready for bed. Wearing only my chemise and looking incredibly fetching, I leaned over to pull back the quilt when… I. Where shall I go? What shall I do? This is completely normal. Farting is the sign of a healthy body. A healthy body is necessary for the production of children. I love my husband.

He is my lover, my best friend and my favorite congressional representative. Lately, though our how shall I say this?

Plainly put, I have no teeth. All of my confidence and sexual prowess seem to have disappeared with my molars and canines and I now find myself impotent to express the full measure of my passions.

Yes, beauty fades and I never expected me to be a supple Venus forever. Abigail Adams is that you? You will always be a supple Venus to me! There is no doubt in my mind that John loves and desires you just as much as the day you were wed.

Please remember, Lust begins in the mind not in the body. I am a woman of shall we say… advanced years. Lately I find myself feeling a little itchy. Where can women of a certain age find suitable companion s to give me good scratching? In my experience which is vast women of a certain age are simply better.

And hey… no unwanted pregnancy. Franklin, I am a lady. Yours, A Ruined Woman worstwifeever Ruined? Franklin, I love my husband. With affection, Ben P. Franklin, I am a woman of shall we say… advanced years. Come to my residence. Sex Tips from Catullus. How Do I Stay Motivated? A Note About The Hairpin.

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For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Ben Franklin's advice on banging old broads. Thread starter Anoregon Start date Feb 4, Status Not open for further replies. Anoregon The flight plan I just filed with the agency list me, my men, Dr. But only one of you! June 25, My dear Friend, I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy.

It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled.

It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons.

Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. They learn to do a Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one.

And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement. The American Quest for a Relatable Past , think that Franklin may have fathered 15 illegitimate children in his life.

However, they can't confirm any other details about his potential offspring. While Franklin was in London from , some historians believe he was a member of the Medmenham Monks , also known as the Hell Fire Club. This was a group of libertine men who were known for their perverse sexual proclivities and their rejection of religious constraints. Franklin arrived in Paris in just as he turned The United States had just become a nation, and he had been sent over to serve as its commissioner to France.

While he was there, even in his advanced years, he still had a lot of sway with the ladies. At one ceremony, he was honored by French women , who paid him tribute by placing a crown of laurels on his head and kissing both his cheeks. During our courtship he read me sonnets and we ate biscuits. Then, we had a beautiful, perfect wedding. It all happened when I was getting ready for bed. Wearing only my chemise and looking incredibly fetching, I leaned over to pull back the quilt when… I.

Where shall I go? What shall I do? This is completely normal. Farting is the sign of a healthy body. A healthy body is necessary for the production of children. I love my husband. He is my lover, my best friend and my favorite congressional representative. Lately, though our how shall I say this?

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