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Whats funny is that people think they can get to actually know someone through chat services and then be ready to talk sweet right away without knowing you at all for real. My experience is that these FB relationships get to be very "mechanical" and, eventually, very uninteresting. I think your article was very good, and right on point. I've had some fuck buddies over the years and have had a lot of fun with them-- without every being tempted to fall in love.

As for straight vs gay: I don't know if straight guys are like gay guys, but straight women certainly are NOT like gay guys. I can't imagine a straight woman who would want to be a man's fuck buddy-- which is why that relationship does not exist in Straightland. It seems the FWB scene allows spending time together socially as well as sexually Maybe I'm just a romantic at heart, but I am more likely to have sex with a guy I would like to date than with a guy that is simply sexually appealing.

It doesn't have to turn into dating I'm sure there are exceptions I'd make when the chemistry is right but the guy isn't available for more than play I don't have hard and fast rules. Yeah, there's some contradiction there Gee, kingkarl, aren't YOU high and mighty? Oppressive heterosexual social mores pronounced mor-ays are cute, but prove time and time again to be impractical.

You can be proud of trying to emulate straight people, but don't judge the rest of us who aren't afraid to acknowledge being sexual. Again, this has come up, a topic that tries to define with a few words the thousands, or millions, of relationships like this that might be occurring as we read.

Each relationship of ANY kind friendship, business, family, marriage, dating has it's limits depending on those involved, their wants and needs, and their personal experience. The glue that holds any good relationship together: Only those involved can really decide what's best. If done honestly, NOT based on what they think others want, then can it happily work long term. I have gone through periods where I abstain from having sex - and I go through ones where I am a total whore usually in the bathhouse.

Ultimately all of this either way is because I am way too busy to date and am afraid to have real sustaining intimacy with another human male. I can't talk for anyone else, but for me, that gets tired. It would be nice to just focus on just one person for a while! We introduce our FWB to each other. There may not be a spark in the partner so that makes a good barometer. Some of these folks have made for HOT sex sessions between the 3 of us. Some have failed the barometer and have been let go in love.

Some have made for great friends without sex. But it didn't work out. The best sex in a very long time,maybe in my life, came for me with feelings, that at the time of sex seemed to be reciprocated in his responses, but in fact weren't and I was projecting my hopes.

It was a quick up followed by a quick down. I am better off for having had the experience rather than not having it, but I now know my feelings aren't separable. This topic sparked more comments that seemed to me to be really meaningful to the contributors. FBs make great transitional relationships after a primary partner passes away or moves away.

There is always the hope that one can of them could become the next primary person, while remembering the phenomenon of the shipboard romance, where the sparks fly on ship, but are maintained only with difficulty if at all after the ship docks. Indeed some of them can be reignited with the next cruise or other opportunity to get together. Moreover, the FB is safer and requires less energy to connect quickly and with satisfaction to both parties compared to a new "trick.

One suggestion is 3 new ones per year. It takes effort to find commonality that endures for both parties, but sometimes, it seems that you two hit it off and little or no effort is required to connect. Then the fun is in exploring new activities together, whether just in bed, e. Sometimes the relationship can expand, e. When that expansion occurs, one possibility is jealousy, which is basically fear of loss. Instead, why not rejoice when the other party or partner finds something really enjoyable with another person?

Get the details and live vicariously in fantasy for awhile, as though you were there. Keep up this thread, guys! Public and private replies welcome. Though FB's can serve a very good purpose, and I think that, under control, they can be a very healthy thing whilst one is "single", nobody, however, seems to have mentioned the more deeper troubles having FB's can develop.

There is a deeper psychological topic underlying the whole subject. Yes, as testosterone driven beings, we need sex or sexual release regularly, and FB's can help with this tremendously.

But what about when the need for a FB transcends the physical and develops into a crutch for loneliness? To satisfy the need of feeling wanted? Dare I mention, the quest for validity? Where, then, does this chase end? Are, when we enter into a relationship, we able to control this desire? Does having an FB obscure the fine line of achieving validity and satisfaction with one's partner? Or does it feed the hunger and greed for more and more? Resulting in a myriad of men who cannot control their sexual desires and looking outside the relationship for satisfaction.

Has this already happened? Hiding under the completely trivialized name: I have never been able to have a fuck buddy. They either start feeling or I do.

I prefer those kind of guys and I am that kind of guy myself. I don't quite understand how people can have sex with someone else on a regular basis without developing feelings for them. Someone I could have sex with without developing feelings for just doesn't sound that appealing and certainly doesn't sound sustainable. I don't have a fuck buddy as I would prefer a long term relationship and an authentic way of relating to a significant other.

I don't consider anyone who has a fuck buddy as relationship material as I see them as being involved with someone else. I don't want to stand in line when it comes to dating someone. Rob, this is a great post. I'm not sure I would say it's ever particularly 'healthy' to separate sex and intimacy in a FB relationship, but understand that many gay men including myself do it nonetheless.

I think the 'harmful' items you listed are also quite insightful, but rather than calling them 'harmful', like an earlier poster, I would simply say they are opportunities for you and your FB to clarify your feelings for each other and decide to either continue as Fuckbuddies or perhaps evolve to something else or separate. Many valuable relationships that I have had in my life began as FB situations. As a bisexual male, I'm pretty much all about having fuck buds for my mansex and I enjoy them immensely.

We all seem to have a good time. I'd disagree with one point on the Harmful side: I used to be a lot more concerned when my Bottom buds didn't get off, but it has always been by their choice. Some have explained to me that for them it's all about servicing their Top. Others have said they get off later, jerking off to the memory of the sex we shared together.

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I'll have a bike again this summer. Do the simple things, dinners, movies, nude wanting Wisla sex weekend getaways. I like to do new things and go to new places. I am not a hard ass. I am pretty easy going actually. I don't stress and don't care for drama. I work at my own business construction and have been really busy. I like ren, but have none of my own. I am compassionate, considerate and willing to compromise. I am traditional and a romantic at heart.

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I mean pretty on the inside also. You will be within x years of my age. I don't lie, cheat, or steal and you won't either. If you have taken the time to read this, then chances are you may be the xxx I am looking for. Put Valentine's Day in the subject line and include a photo in your response. I will answer all.

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