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This FAQ last updated: The information on this website is not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. Consult your health provider. Over the years, many women have requested a section for birth stories of plus-sized moms. Pregnancy books and most websites do not fulfill this need; mostly they are filled with warnings about "obesity" and pregnancy, admonitions not to get pregnant until you lose weight, dire predictions of disastrous pregnancies filled with complications, or horror stories designed to scare you into weight loss compliance.

Although there are many birth stories online, most are of women of average-size. While these are also helpful to read, many women of size have longed for a collection of stories of just plus-sized pregnancybirth in all its beauty, and birth in all its variety i n women of size. It is so important for us to see that many of our fat sisters have traveled this journey before us. Stories have been separated into various categories vaginal birth, c-sections, twins, VBACs, etc.

Because some stories fit more than one category, many will repeat on different pages. Some stories are already up on the web in a more complete form elsewhere; with the mother's permission, Kmom has linked to these sites and urges readers to click on the link and read the more complete story.

Unless specifically requested, all identifying information has been removed or changed to protect the privacy of the participants. All stories are copyrighted; none may be used elsewhere without specific written permission from both Kmom and the mother involved. This particular FAQ presents the stories of the cesarean births many women of size have experienced. Big moms do have a higher cesarean rate, though many are probably unnecessary.

For some large women, a cesarean is no big deal, for others it is unwanted but endurable, and for still others it is a horror story, full of fat-phobic treatment or intense trauma. How women of size experience cesareans is as varied as women are. However, the point of this FAQ is not to promote one particular style of birth, but to show the wide spectrum of births that women of size have experienced, and this includes cesareans, repeat cesareans, and VBACs.

All of these are represented in this FAQ. More stories will be added over time, so keep checking back if you are interested in reading further stories. If you are interested in sharing your birth story, click here for more information, birth story format, and submission guidelines.

New birth stories are always welcome; Kmom updates the birth stories FAQs about once a year so be patient for your story to show up. If you do submit your story, please carefully follow the format and directions given in order to shorten the amount of work involved for Kmom. Kmom's family will thank you! Different Meanings for Different Women. In general, larger women DO have higher rates of c-sections, for many reasons. They tend to have somewhat higher rates of complicating conditions that often result in c-sections pre-eclampsia, gd, PCOS which often results in pre-eclampsia or gd, etc.

In addition, although it's not true for all fat women by any means, some fat women are out-of-shape and don't eat properly or exercise, which also tends to increase the rate of complications in pregnancy. Unfortunately, medical studies rarely differentiate between large women who take excellent care of themselves and those who do not, making the risks seem to apply equally based on size alone. Therefore, many providers apply interventions equally to all women of size, when only a few may actually need them.

Or the size prejudice can be somewhat subtle, from doctors expecting that you WILL develop complications often a self-fulfilling prophecy , to treating you as ultra high-risk or telling you that you'll probably not deliver vaginally anyway, etc. Studies show that large women are induced at much higher rates than average-sized women, and often are not given the same chances at Vaginal Birth After Cesarean that average-sized women may get, resulting in more repeat c-sections.

In addition, there are often subtle psychological battles for large women to combat as well. Many fat women have been programmed all their lives to believe their bodies are 'defective', incapable of performing normally, and often have very significant body trust issues that tend to come out during pregnancy and birth. They are often disempowered by the people around them, who may make them feel like they should apologize for even 'daring' to be pregnant at a larger size.

They often face a world hostile to the idea of larger women having romance, let alone having sex or giving birth! Most childbirth books are full of dire warnings about being pregnant at a larger size, and these horror stories and warnings tend to lead large women not to expect a normal birth. So although larger women tend to have higher rates of c-sections than average-sized women, it is unclear how much is due to problems from size and health concerns, how much is due to provider bias and patterns of expectations, and how much is due to deeply-placed body trust and empowerment issues.

However, it's worth noting that many 'alternative' birth attendants note that with proactive attention to health, nutrition, exercise, and empowerment issues, they have found that even very large women usually have excellent birth outcomes.

Research from the 50s, 60s, and 70s shows that cesarean rates in women of size used to be much lower. If fat were truly an intractable cause of cesareans, these low cesarean rates would not have been possible even back then. In fact, many studies then showed that fat women had no higher cesarean rates than other women.

It is practice patterns and expectations that have changed the cesarean rate in women of size, not size itself. Now, many OBs and even midwives believe that having a cesarean is a logical consequence of being fat; that fat women cannot birth normally. But we know from history and the many fat women today who choose alternative births that this is not true.

Unfortunately, the biggest obstacle is sometimes getting people to believe that this is possible, or even to care that it happen. But together, we can act to change this indifference. Women, fat or thin, do NOT all need to be cut open in order to have a baby.

Here are two articles that discuss why women of size have high cesarean rates and give concrete ideas for lowering your risk for an unnecessary cesarean: In our current societal climate, it is true that a significant percentage of larger women do have c-sections. Some then go on to have subsequent vaginal births VBACs , some try to have vaginal births but end up with repeat c-sections, and some are happy to choose another c-section and bypass vaginal births altogether.

In fact, as in average-sized society, there are occasionally even women who actually prefer to have a c-section from the very beginning and are relieved if they develop a condition which necessitates one. C-sections can be a very political issue. It is very important that we all understand that a c-section means different things to different women, and to RESPECT our differences of opinion over that fact. For some women, a c-section experience can be almost akin to rape or assault, yet for others it can be a perfectly normal or even gratifying experience.

There is a great deal of bad feeling generated on email lists between those who 'love' their c-sections and those who do not. The key is to try to understand and empathize with the other person's feelings and recognize their right to have a different opinion.

To a woman who has had a c-section and is not happy with it, it is insulting to be told that the important thing is that the baby is healthy and it doesn't really matter how the baby gets there. Of course the most important thing is a healthy baby, but for many women it does matter how the baby arrives. To have a disappointing or disempowering birth experience DOES matter; to have that experience dismissed as unimportant or insignificant is tremendously frustrating.

The mother matters too. In some cases, a c-section truly is life-saving and the mom can be grateful it was there to help. While some women feel only gladness and relief over a life-saving cesarean, it is completely understandable and normal that some women might still feel upset after a frightening or less-than-ideal birth experience. Even when a cesarean is truly necessary, women can have ambivalent or even negative feelings about it.

However, many c-sections are not necessary, or only become necessary after a great deal of intervention and questionable management. Imagine the bitterness of moms who must face not only their disappointment in having a c-section, but also to know that it was probably an unnecessary one.

That's a tremendously bitter pill to swallow, and it has long-lasting implications for any subsequent pregnancies and births. Women who are disappointed in their births need and deserve to grieve that experience, despite being thrilled to have a baby in their arms. Yet few moms with disappointing births are allowed that space to grieve. They are often told to 'just get over it' or to 'move on' with their lives, or 'just be grateful' they have a baby.

But although most women valiantly try to move on, it is very difficult to move on until the original experience has been fully grieved, and there is very little understanding of this in our society in general. A c-section is simply thought of as 'no big deal' and just a 'different way' to give birth.

Women who feel differently are rarely given validation or space for their feelings, but it is possible to love your baby deeply yet still have ambivalent feelings about how they arrived. On the other hand, some women 'love' their c-sections and would never choose any other way to give birth. Some women have had prior long hard labors often induced , full of pain and difficulty coping; in this circumstance a cesarean can feel like a dream come true, a 'rescue' from an unending cycle of pain and exhaustion.

Some women who have experienced traumatic labors choose a planned cesarean in a future birth in order to avoid any repeat of the same difficult scenario; they see it as a way to protect themselves from experiencing that trauma all over again, and as a way of "controlling" the experience and making it more predictable. It might not be how they would ideally have given birth, but they have come to a place of peace with how the baby arrived and are thankful.

Some women are relieved to simply schedule their birth and remove all the unknowns; the enticement of a known and familiar outcome is less threatening than the uncertainty of not knowing what the outcome will be. Women who are not disappointed in their births also need and deserve to treasure that experience, even if it doesn't meet someone else's expectations of a 'good birth'.

No one should have the right to make someone else feel bad about their birthing experience. Nor should women who did not love their c-section be made to feel like they are ungrateful wretches who place their own selfish experience above the baby's well-being, or that they are emotionally stunted because they are still working through negative feelings about the cesarean.

Their feelings are just as valid, and they deserve the space to mourn that experience and those feelings too. To undergo major surgery for another person is an act of love, no matter the circumstances. For other women, it is simply no big deal, a tremendous relief, or a treasured and beautiful memory.

We need to understand and RESPECT that our feelings and reactions may not apply to someone else's experience, and to allow them the space to have different feelings than our own. This FAQ is a kaleidoscope of all different kinds of cesarean stories and reactions.

Kmom has had 2 c-sections, one a truly horrible experience and one a relatively good and loving experience. Please do not read that into this FAQ.

However, Kmom's personal opinion is that as a society far too many women and especially fat women are being cut unnecessarily, and that this has deep public health implications that should not be ignored. Cesareans are NOT simply 'another way to give birth' because they DO have significant health risks and implications for future births.

You will find this opinion reflected in Kmom's commentary. However, this is in NO way a judgment about any woman who is happy with her c-section or who chooses further c-sections in the future. Most moms will recognize most of these terms, but women new to reading about childbirth may be puzzled by some of the terms and abbreviations used in these stories.

This section briefly defines some of these in order to help women understand the stories better. The circumstances of the labor suggests that this baby might have been posterior and gotten 'stuck'. Shawn confirms that her baby was indeed 'sunny side up' but that this was not noted in her medical records. This is not unusual; many doctors don't see posterior position as relevant and fail to note it in records or mention it to parents, yet many other providers feel that it is the cause of many c-sections.

Positioning often helps facilitate rotation, but Shawn was not able to try these. Also, although the midwife felt that rupturing the bag of waters more fully would help dilation by bringing baby farther down, doing this tends to fix baby in its poor position and make a normal vaginal birth difficult to impossible.

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